The Arglefumph Blog

Saint Bridget of Kildare

2012-02-01T09:21:00.000-08:00

Today is the feast day of Saint Bridget of Kildare, the Patroness of Ireland. I helped edit a short eBook about her life. Today would be a good day to read it.
One story that is told about Saint Bridget (which is not contained in the eBook) is about the day of her ordination. Bishop Saint Maccaille performed the ceremony, and he had to say special prayers of consecration over her, because she was being made the leader of a small group of nuns.

The Bishop accidentally opened his book to the wrong page, and he started reading the prayers to make her a bishop instead of an abbess. He didn't catch the mistake until the very end of the consecration prayers, where the word "bishop" appears. He decided the mistake was a sign from God, and because her ordination as a bishop was automatically invalid by nature, he went back and said the correct prayers to make her an abbess.

Many of the biographers today think that this is just a silly story that the Irish people made up, and they don't mention it. Still, sometimes you'll find references to Saint Bridget being a bishop. Those references really confused me, until I heard the story of her accidental ordination. I'm sure that if it's a true story, it was the source of many humorous jokes over the course of her lifetime, especially when she asked (and received) permission to turn Kildare into a diocese.

Saint Bridget, pray for us.

Unemployment Levels

2012-01-31T09:17:00.000-08:00

In the news today, I have a hard time understanding the news.

The latest piece of information I've seen about the economy is entitled More seek unemployment aid, but trend is positive. The good news of the article is that, two weeks ago, the unemployment levels were at their lowest point in four years. The bad news is that the unemployment levels quickly went back up again.

The article puts a positive spin on the news, saying that if you average out the unemployment levels over the last month, they are rather low. However, that's probably because the week with the "lowest point in four years" rating tips the scales a bit.

The part about the article which interested me the most was at the end, where is said 8.7 million Americans were fired, due to the Great Recession. Currently, there are 13 million people out of work. Using some quick math, that would indicate that 4.3 million people were out of work, before the economy crashed. I think these numbers might need to be readjusted.

Two, what about people who don't qualify for unemployment? I know a lot of people who have jobs that don't give unemployment (or any) benefits; plenty of companies got rid of those when the recession hit. And let's not forget the people who were on unemployment, but were unable to get new jobs before the benefits ran out. I think these unemployed people who do not receive unemployment benefits should be taken into consideration, when you're trying to judge how well the economic recovery is doing.

Rumor Mongering

2012-01-30T09:46:00.000-08:00

Here's the latest Nancy Drew rumor that I've heard:

You might have noticed that the second Nancy Drew game, Stay Tuned for Danger, has been officially discontinued.

The same thing happened with the first Nancy Drew game, Secrets Can Kill, when they made an official remake for that game. The original game was discontinued when the remake hit the shelves.

Since the second game has been discontinued, is this a sign that they're planning on remaking the second Nancy Drew game? Time will tell.

In the meantime, I played the original Secrets Can Kill for a bit yesterday, and I can really see how good the remake was, in comparison to the original. The dialogue is practically word-for-word the same in both versions. That's dedication!

EDIT: This rumor was officially quashed within an hour. Tough luck for whoever it is that sent me this rumor.

A Brief Break

2012-01-29T09:03:00.000-08:00

Whew. We discussed a lot of philosophy this past week. Google says there were half as many people as usual reading my blog this week; apparently, not everyone enjoys philosophy or being happy.

I'll try to respond to the various questions people had during this week in a while, but for today, I'm taking a brief break. Tomorrow, I'll be back to my normal agenda of...well, not having any particular agenda planned.

The Attainment of Happiness

2012-01-28T15:16:00.000-08:00

Today is the sixth and final day of our discussion on happiness. It is titled "The attainment of happiness". We have determined that happiness is the main goal of human life, and that happiness is union with God. It seems natural that we should spend some time discussion how happiness is attained.

1. Can humans attain happiness?

Yes. The objections to this claim all state that happiness is somehow beyond human nature, but this is not the case. Humans are capable of attaining happiness, because they can apprehend it through their intellects and desire it through their wills.

2. Can one person be happier than another?

Yes. As said earlier, happiness involves attaining some kind of good, and true happiness is gained from attaining the ultimate good, which is God.

An example will be helpful here. Say two hungry boys are eating a pie, which makes them happy. Some people argue that neither boy can be happier than the other, because they have the same source of happiness. It is logical to think that the pie gives equally happiness to both boys, because the pie is the same in both cases. However, while the pie is the same, the boys can differ from each other. If one boy dislikes pie in general, while the other boy really likes eating pie, it is obvious that the boy who likes pie is happier to eat it than the boy who dislikes it. This is how one person can be happier than another. Attaining a particular good brings more happiness to the person who is better disposed or ordered to enjoyment of that good.

3. Can any person be happy in this life?

A certain participation of happiness can be had in this life, but true and perfect happiness cannot. This is due to the general notion of happiness, which is a perfect and sufficient good that excludes every evil and fulfills every desire. Excluding every evil is impossible in this life, and fulfilling every desire is also impossible. Hence, perfect happiness cannot be had in this life.

Further, we said earlier that the specific nature of happiness is in the Beatific Vision, which only takes place in the life to come. This leads to the same conclusion that perfect happiness cannot be had in this life.

4. Can you have happiness, then lose it?

If we talk about imperfect happiness, then yes. A person can have imperfect happiness, then lose it. This is true, whether the happiness comes from actions or knowledge. A person can become sick, and thereby be unable to perform the actions that make them happy. And again, a person can become sick and forget the knowledge that makes them happy.

However, perfect happiness cannot be lost once it is gained. If it could be lost, then it would not be perfect happiness. The happiness would be tainted by the fear and sorrow of losing it, and it would therefore be imperfect happiness.

5. Can humans attain happiness by means of their natural powers?

It is possible for a human to attain imperfect happiness through their natural powers, but it is impossible for a human to attain perfect happiness through their natural powers. For the natural powers of humans are limited, whereas perfect happiness is not.

6. Can humans attain happiness through the action of a higher creature?

This question is asked, because some people think that it is possible for an angel to make a human happy. That seems possible, because happy angels can enlighten the intellects of humans or lower angels, especially in matters concerning God, who is the ultimate good.

However, it is clear that angels can only give humans imperfect happiness, not perfect happiness. This is because angels are limited; like humans, they are a creation of God. The perfect happiness coming from God remains beyond and above angel nature.

7. Are any human actions necessary, so they can obtain the happiness of God?

Yes. As explained yesterday, a rightly-ordered will is necessary for happiness. This implies some sort of action on the part of humans. God is pleased to give happiness as a reward for good works, hence, good works are necessary to receive happiness from God. In the same way, bad works or some kind of fault is necessary for God to withhold happiness, as a punishment. God's justice demands that this be the case, so no one will be unfairly rewarded or punished.

The only reason a person would not have to perform any actions in order to obtain happiness is if that person naturally possessed happiness. Happiness consists of God, which was said earlier. Therefore, a human who does not need to perform any actions to obtain happiness is a human who naturally possesses God. No such human has existed or ever will exist, because it is proper to God alone to naturally possess himself. Even Jesus and the Virgin Mary did not naturally possess God; they had to grow in wisdom and knowledge of God before they could obtain the happiness of union with God.

8. Does every person desire happiness?

Yes. Every person naturally desires happiness. True happiness is the complete satisfaction of a person's will, and desire itself naturally seeks the satisfaction of the will. Consequently, by the very act of desiring something, a person desires happiness. This is true, even if we examine a person who desires unhappiness. That person does not desire happiness, but they still desire to have their will satisfied. And because happiness is the satisfaction of the will, it is revealed that the person desires happiness, even though they believe they desire unhappiness.

Not everyone knows what happiness consists of, which is why we often see people trying to get happiness from things that do not give happiness. In this sense, you could say that not everyone desires happiness, because there are people who do not desire the things which result in happiness. However, that is due to their mistaken knowledge, not due to some defect of happiness or desire.

What is Required for Happiness?

2012-01-27T15:18:00.000-08:00

Welcome back to the discussion of happiness. Today should be relatively straightforward. In six questions, we will discuss what things are required for happiness.

We can say there are two types of happiness. The first type is the imperfect happiness that can be found in this world, which comes from being virtuous. The second type is the perfect happiness that is found in the life to come, in the Beatific Vision. Our focus today is on the second type, which is called true happiness.

1. Is delight required for happiness?

Delight is not required for happiness, as a prerequisite. However, it should be noted that delight and happiness are always found together, because delight is a result of happiness. In general, delight is caused when the will is at rest in a good it has attained. And because true happiness is attaining the Sovereign Good, true happiness cannot exist without delight following as a result.

2. Is comprehension required for happiness?

As said yesterday, happiness involves the use of the intellect. But experience teaches us that it is possible to apprehend something with the intellect, without comprehending it. Is this the case with the happiness which results from the contemplation of God?

No. For one, full comprehension is higher and more perfect than partial comprehension; someone with only partial comprehension can be said to be lacking. True happiness lacks nothing; therefore it involves full comprehension, not partial comprehension. Also, we explained earlier that happiness is the final end of humanity. Partial comprehension is not a final end, because there is something beyond it: full comprehension. Therefore, happiness as final end requires full comprehension of the divine essence.

3. Is a rightly-ordered will required for happiness?

Yes. A will is called "rightly-ordered", when it is ordered towards its proper end. For example, a dog that wills to bark has a rightly-ordered will, because it is the nature of dogs to bark. However, a dog that wishes to purr like a cat has a wrongly-ordered will, because it desires the wrong thing.

Now, for humans, a person with a rightly-ordered will desires true happiness. And it is in this way that we can say a rightly-ordered will is a prerequisite for happiness. A human with a wrongly-ordered will is going to seek something other than true happiness. They do not have happiness as an end, therefore, it is impossible for them to achieve happiness as an end.

4. Is the body necessary for happiness?

The body is necessary for the imperfect happiness that can be attained in this life. However, the body is not necessary for the perfect happiness which can be attained in the life to come.

This is due to the nature of the Beatific Vision. In the Beatific Vision, God is made directly present to the mind of the viewer. The senses are not needed for this kind of knowledge, even though the senses may be present. Consequently, the soul can be happy without the body.

However, some people have taken this as a premise and wrongly concluded that there are no bodies in Heaven. They say that Heaven is only made up of souls. This is false. For one, the angels in Heaven are spiritual bodies. For another, the teachings of Jesus and the apostles about the resurrection of the dead all clearly state that the dead will be given new bodies (1 Corinthians 15:35-58 is probably the most explicit of these teachings). And thirdly, it is illogical to think that Heaven is made up of souls but no bodies, because it is the nature of the soul to be united to a body.

5. Are external goods necessary for happiness?

In this life, external goods are necessary to help support our animal bodies, and they are necessary for certain human operations which are done by means of our animal bodies. Since external goods are necessary for life in general, they are also necessary for happiness in this life, although they do not create happiness in and of themselves.

But in the life to come, as indicated by the previous question, happiness consists of the Beatific Vision. Souls without bodies can participate in the Beatific Vision; an example of this is the saints, who currently enjoy Heaven but who have not yet been given the new bodies which will come to them at the resurrection of the dead. Souls with spiritual bodies can also participate in the Beatific Vision; an example of this is the angels. Neither souls without bodies nor souls with spiritual bodies need external goods, which are only necessary for animal life. Therefore, external goods are not necessary for perfect happiness.

6. Are friends necessary for happiness?

The happy person needs friends, not in order to make use of them, nor in order to delight in them, but for the purposes of doing good to them. Doing good to other people is an exercise of virtue, which leads to happiness. If the good person delights in his friends, it is the case that he delights in seeing them do good things, and if the good person makes use of his friends, it is so they can all help each other do good things.

But if we talk about the perfect happiness of the Beatific Vision, friends are not necessary. But the fellowship of friends conduces to the well-being of happiness, and so, friendship should not be spurned.

The Role of the Senses and the Intellect in Happiness

2012-01-26T15:18:00.000-08:00

Welcome back to the discussion about happiness. After taking a close look at what happiness consists of, we came to the conclusion that happiness consists of union with God. That is the final end, the ultimate goal of humanity. True happiness cannot consist of anything other than God, because God is the perfect good, which is not limited in any way.

All things other than God can only give us an imperfect happiness. This happiness is always limited in that it is temporary, and it does not last forever. Things are also limited in the amount of happiness they can give us, and what kind of happiness they can provide.

Today, we will discuss the respective roles that the senses and the intellect play, in regards to happiness. It is apparent that people in all ages have mistaken sensual pleasures for happiness. However, happiness is an operation of the intellect, not the senses. That is, in its essence, happiness does not belong to the senses. This is because happiness consists essentially in being united to the uncreated good, and the senses cannot make this union happen. Also, as we pointed out earlier, happiness does not consists in bodily goods, which are obtained through the senses.

Then, what is the role of the senses, in regards to happiness? In regards to the imperfect happiness we receive in this life, the use of the senses always comes before happiness. That is because happiness is an operation of the intellect, which always comes after an operation of the senses. It is impossible to know something in the intellect, without having first encountered it in the senses. (Please note that this does not mean all knowledge is sense knowledge--the relationship between the senses, the intellect and knowledge is a completely different topic we can discuss at a later time).

Now, in regards to the perfect happiness that awaits us in Heaven, the bodily senses play a larger role. All our eschatological studies confirm that, in the resurrection of the dead, we shall receive new bodies. In these bodies, the senses will receive an overflow and become perfected, as a preparation for the Beatific Vision. But while the senses play a role in apprehending the Beatific Vision, the operation whereby the human mind is united to God does not depend on the senses.

So, happiness is an operation of the intellect, not the senses. What kind of intellect, the speculative intellect or the practical intellect? It is the speculative intellect, which is higher than the practical intellect. We know this, because the speculative intellect is sought for its own sake, while the practical intellect is sought for the sake of something else, namely, action. Jesus himself testifies to this truth, when he praises the contemplative life more than the active life, during his visit to Saint Mary Magdalene and her sister Saint Martha.

The last and perfect happiness consists entirely in contemplation. But we cannot say the same thing about the imperfect happiness we have here on Earth. True, this imperfect happiness consists primarily in the use of the speculative intellect, but it consists secondarily in the use of the practical intellect. Specifically, a person must use the practical intellect to direct human actions and passions; that is the use of the practical intellect which secondarily leads to happiness.

To conclude today, let us say more about the role in the intellect in the Beatific Vision. We can see that there are different levels of knowledge. For example, the knowledge of someone who knows a thing's name and what it looks like is higher knowledge that the knowledge of someone who only knows a thing's name. Knowing the cause and the effect is higher than knowing the effect alone, and knowing the essence of a thing is higher than knowing its properties. Applying these principles to the knowledge of God, it is clear that the highest knowledge of God is knowing the essence of God as the First Cause. Perfect happiness, of course, comes from this highest form of knowledge of God. A lesser knowledge of God results in incomplete happiness, because there is still more that is left to know.

What Leads to Happiness (Part 2 of 2)

2012-01-25T15:18:00.000-08:00

Today, we continue discussing the question of what leads to happiness. Here are answers that people usually give to that question:

1.      Wealth
2.      Honor
3.      Fame or glory
4.      Power
5.      Pleasure
6.      Bodily goods
7.      Spiritual goods
8.      Any created good

We examined the first four answers and found them lacking. Today, let's examine the second four answers and see if any of them is the source of happiness.

---

Pleasure seems to lead to happiness, because all humans seek pleasure and delight. Like happiness, these things are desired for their own sake, and they are not desired for anything else. Secondly, science has proven that pleasure moves the appetite more than anything else, to the point where people will choose pleasure over everything else, including life itself. Clearly, pleasure acts like a final end, just like happiness does. Third, since desire is good, the thing that everyone desires must be best. Everyone desires pleasure, including the wise and foolish, and even irrational animals. Therefore, happiness, which is the supreme good, consists in pleasure.

However, happiness does not consist in pleasure. It is possible for a person to be unhappy, while enjoying something pleasurable, such as eating cake. On the other hand, it is possible for a person to be happy, while undergoing pain, the opposite of pleasure. This is the case with a bride who has a toothache on her wedding day; she is suffering from pain, but she is still exceedingly happy. And because pleasure and happiness can exist independent of each other, happiness does not consist of pleasure.

To respond to the objections. First, we see that goodness and happiness are both desired for their own sakes. However, pleasure is not desired for its own sake. Pleasure is desired for the good, which is the object of pleasure. Consequently, good is the principle of pleasure, from which pleasure gets its form. Second, the reason that pleasure and sensible delights move people more than anything else is not because pleasure is the final end or because pleasure is the greatest of all things. No, the reason that people are moved by sensible delights is because our senses are our principles of knowledge. In other words, we get knowledge through the senses, and that is why sensible delights have such a powerful hold over people. Third, people desire pleasure in the same way they desire good. But, as stated in the first response, people desire pleasure by reason of the good, and not the other way around. Hence, it does not follow that pleasure is the supreme good.

Bodily Goods seem to lead to happiness. First, the Bible teaches us that this is so; in the Book of Sirach, there is a section about bodily health which reads "There is no treasure greater than a healthy body, and there is no happiness greater than a joyful heart" (Sirach 30:16). Second, the health of the body is more necessary for living than anything else, so it must have a larger role to play in happiness than anything else does. Third, being is the highest of all goods, because you can have no goods, if you do not first have being. Therefore, man's happiness consists primarily in all the things that pertain to his being, and the health of the body is first among these.

On the contrary, humans surpass all other animals, as far as happiness is concerned. However, as far as bodily goods go, humans are surpassed by many animals; elephants live longer, lions are stronger, deer are faster, etc. Therefore, human happiness does not consist in goods of the body.

There are two reasons why happiness cannot consist in bodily goods. First, it contradicts the previously-discussed notion that happiness is a human goal. A goal is something you work towards, not something you already have. If the goal of happiness is fulfilled in bodily goods, then every person has already fulfilled that goal, because they all have bodies. But this is not the case.

To put this in more philosophical terms, whenever a thing has something else as its end, it cannot reach its end while completely preserving itself. The fact that humans are ordained towards something else as a last end makes it impossible for humans themselves to be the last end.

The second reason that happiness cannot consist in bodily goods is that human beings are more than just bodies. Humans are made up of body and soul, and therefore, any argument about happiness which completely ignores either body or soul is bound to be incomplete. When we examine the relationship between the body and the soul, we see that the being of the body depends on the soul, but the being of the soul does not depend on the body. The body's dependence on the soul makes it impossible for happiness to consist in bodily goods alone. Bodies without souls, which are corpses, are incapable of happiness, no matter how many bodily goods they possess. Therefore, happiness does not consist solely in bodily goods.

To respond to the objections. First, the Book of Sirach is explaining that riches, which is the book's word for external goods, are designed for the purposes of bodily goods. This is why Sirach says bodily goods are better than riches. In the exact same way, the goods of the body are designed for the purposes of the good of soul; therefore, the soul's goods are better than the body's goods. Second, this argument makes the mistake of thinking that the body is necessary for happiness. We know that this is untrue, because we speak of incorporeal things—namely, God and his angels—as being happy, despite the fact that they do not have physical bodies. Further, we have the example of disabled people who have lost body parts, such as people with only one leg or people who are blind. It is possible for these people to be happy, even though they have lost parts of their bodies; therefore, body parts are not completely necessary for happiness. Third, this argument from being is partially correct, but it forgets the fact that humans have imperfect being. The focus of the search should shift to the source of being as the grounds for existence, rather than focusing on the existence of being as the ground for goods.

Spiritual Goods seem to lead to happiness. First, in our above arguments, we ruled out external goods and goods of the body as the possible sources of happiness. Spiritual goods are the only other option left to us. Second, when we desire something good, we love what gives us the good more than the good itself. For example, if I desire a friend to give me money, even though I desire the money, I love the friend more than the money. When we apply this principle to someone who desires goodness for himself, it means that person must love himself more than goodness. Since people love themselves above all things, and they desire goodness only in respect to themselves, ultimate fulfillment must be found in the self, specifically, the soul. Third, happiness belongs to humans, but as said earlier, it does not belong to the body. Therefore, it belongs to the soul.

However, happiness cannot consist in goods of the soul. The first reason is similar to why happiness cannot consist in goods of the body. The soul is the guiding principle, the thing which causes people to move towards their final end of happiness. If happiness consisted of the soul, that would mean people are guided, by their souls, in order to possess souls. And this is contradictory; it results in people having happiness in its entirety while still seeking after happiness as if they did not already possess it.

The second reason happiness cannot consist of the soul is that the soul has the ability to change. Now, true happiness must rest in something that does not have the potential for change. Otherwise, it might change into something which does not create happiness, or it might change from being present to us into being completely lost to us. But since the soul can change, and true happiness cannot, happiness does not consist of the soul.

It is true that happiness is something which belongs to the soul. But when we examine the goods of the soul, we see that they are what philosophers call "goods by participation". In other words, the soul does not create its own goods, but instead, the goods of the soul have their source in something other than the soul. Therefore, we have to say that happiness is a good which belongs to the soul, but the thing which constitutes happiness is something outside the soul.

To respond to the objections. First, this argument divides all human desires into three categories: external goods, goods of the body and goods of the soul. Looking at it from this way, it is possible to say that what constitutes happiness is a good of the soul, because the desire for happiness falls better into that category than the other two. However, it is still inaccurate to say that goods of the soul are the source of happiness. Second, the argument fails to distinguish between two types of love. Happiness is loved and desired for itself, not for the sake of something else. But you can also love and desire something not for itself, but for the sake of something else; the argument says this is the case when you love a friend, only because you desire to get money from him. Consequently, the argument falls apart, because it is not the same kind of love in both cases. Third, happiness itself, since it is a perfection of the soul, is an inherent good of the soul; but that which constitutes happiness (namely, what makes a person happy) is something outside of his soul, as stated above.

Finally, Created Goods seem to lead to happiness. First, it seems that this whole discussion of happiness is building up to a discussion of angels. This is because angels are eternally happy and because they are better than humans by nature. Therefore, happiness consists in humans becoming angels. Second, the way a thing reaches is final end is by achieving perfection. For example, a part reaches its perfection by becoming a whole. Since humans are part of the universe, it has to be the case that we reach the final end of happiness in the whole universe of creatures. Third, humans naturally do not desire things which surpass their capacity. Human capacity does not include the good which surpasses the limits of all creation, so it seems that man can be made happy by some created good.

However, happiness cannot consist of any created good, and the reasons why this is true have been discussed in relation to other things. For one, anything which is created can be destroyed, and the possibility of being destroyed prevents a thing from being the source of perfect happiness. For another, anything that is created does not create itself, but rather, it depends on something else as the source of its existence, while true happiness exists in and of itself. And finally, we can say that happiness is the ultimate good, and this has to be uncreated, because all created goods have their goodness from a sharing in the ultimate good.

Let us take a step back now and join together all the various arguments we have seen so far. What do we know about the ultimate good? It cannot be desired for the sake of something else, but it must be desired in and of itself. It cannot be limited, and it cannot be able to change into something else. It cannot be temporary, but it must be eternal. It cannot depend on something else for its source, but it must be the source of its own existence.

What, then, fulfills these criteria? What is the ultimate good, the source of happiness? God, who is the source of all good, who is eternal, who cannot change and who is the source of his own existence. Happiness consists in God. This is the logical conclusion of our arguments; we showed that happiness does not consist of any created good. Therefore, it consists of the only uncreated good, which is God.

To respond to the objections. First, it is true that angels have a higher nature than humans, and it is true that human nature has a desire to reach upwards towards better things. However, this desire does not stop at the angels, but it continues onto God, so angels cannot be the last end of humans. Second, it is not always the case that a part reaches its final end by becoming whole; it is possible for the whole itself to be ordained towards a further end. This is the case with babies, who begin life as a couple of cells, but they grow and become fully independent creatures. Changing to a whole, complete body is not the final end of the process; the child continues to grow and become bigger afterwards. Therefore, reaching the whole is not the same as reaching the end. Third, when we talk of goodness and human capacities, it is true that humans are limited when it comes to the good of which we are the subject. However, we are not limited when it comes to the good of which we are the object.

What Leads to Happiness (Part 1 of 2)

2012-01-24T09:18:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I discussed the idea that happiness is the final end or goal of every human life. This, naturally, leads us to ask more about happiness. What is happiness? What leads to happiness? How can we obtain happiness?

Today and tomorrow, we will discuss the question of "What does happiness consist of?" or "What leads to happiness?". There are many answers that are traditionally given to this question, and it is best to examine each of these things in turn, as well as the reasons why or why not they are the source of happiness. Here are the answers up for discussion:

1.      Wealth
2.      Honor
3.      Fame or glory
4.      Power
5.      Pleasure
6.      Bodily goods
7.      Spiritual goods
8.      Any created good

---

Wealth seems like it creates happiness, for many reasons. First, many people treasure wealth as the greatest of all things, which is a sign that money makes happiness. Second, money allows a person to purchase every good thing. Third, people desire good things. Since the desire for money is limitless, money must be the best of all things.

However, it is impossible for human happiness to consist in wealth, and this is obvious when we examine the nature and purpose of wealth.

People seek after wealth and money. Why? It is not because wealth and money bring happiness; it is because money can be used to buy things. Money is just a means to an end; it is not an end in itself. The person who prizes money does not really prize money itself; he prizes the things which money is able to purchase.

This can clearly be seen, by the fact that people do not value money which is unable to purchase anything. Therefore, happiness cannot consist in wealth, because wealth is not desirable in and of itself.

To respond to the objections. First, it is true that many foolish people prize wealth above all things. This does not mean that money should be prized above all things. Second, money does not allow a person purchase every good thing. There are spiritual things that cannot be purchased by money, which is why Proverbs 17:16 says "What good does it do for a fool to have riches, seeing as he cannot use them to purchase wisdom?" Third, when someone possesses a good thing, they grow to love it more and more, while they start to despise other things. But with wealth, it is the opposite. Once a person possesses something, they start to despise it more and more; they eventually get bored of it and move on to something new. This is because the things wealth purchases are insufficient and imperfect, and so they cannot create lasting happiness.

Honor seems like it creates happiness, for many reasons. First, virtuous people get rewarded with honor, more than they get rewarded with anything else. Second, people who are extremely happy have great honor.

However, happiness does not consist in honor, and this is obvious when we look at how honor creates happiness. You are happy if you get honored by someone very important, but if you are honored by someone you hate or someone who you think is unimportant, this does not make you happy. Therefore, it seems the happiness in honor comes from who is doing the honoring and what is being done as a sign of honor, not from the honoring itself. We can see this is true, because a person who is snobbish and looks down on everyone is never happy whenever people honor him. Therefore, happiness does not consist of honor.

To respond to the objections. The first argument confuses virtue and honor. If a person does something, just for the sake of being honored, that person is not virtuous. He is ambitious. Therefore, truly virtuous people do not seek after honor for honor's sake. Second, honor is given to people because they have some kind of excellence. It is not honor that makes a person excellent.

Fame or Glory is being well recognized and praised, which seems to lead to happiness. First, Saint Paul talks about the glory of the eternally-happy saints; "The sufferings of this time are as nothing compared to the glory which shall be revealed in us" (Romans 8:18). Second, goodness naturally spreads itself out to other people. Glory spreads itself among people faster than anything else, so it creates happiness. Third, fame is unique, in that it creates a sort of immortality.

On the contrary, happiness does not rest in fame or glory, for three reasons. First, people who seek fame often do not want fame itself; they just want the honors that come with fame. They seek honor as a source of happiness, not fame, and as explained earlier, honor does not lead to happiness.

Second, we must note that human knowledge often fails. For this reason, glory is often deceptive, and fame is given to undeserving people. We often hear the term "the fickleness of fame", which explains why fame does not lead to happiness: it is fickle. Nothing which is fickle or likely to change often can lead to happiness. This can easily be seen in the example of famous people who are unhappy, because they are afraid of losing their fame, or because they have already lost their fame.

Third, we can see that fame does not lead to happiness, if we examine how a thing becomes famous. First, there is a good thing. Second, other people recognize this thing as good. Third, fame or glory is given to the good thing. Fame, you see, comes last in the series of events; therefore, fame does not cause the good thing which leads to happiness. Instead, fame is a result of it.

To respond to the objections. First, that language refers to the glory that is from God, not the glory that is with humans. Second, it is not true that fame always arises from goodness. A person can be wrongly famous for being generous, when in reality, that person is stingy. In those cases, there is a disconnect between fame and goodness. Third, as said earlier, fame is fickle and has no stability. In fact, false reports can easily ruin fame. Sometimes fame endures, but this is by accident; happiness endures of itself, and forever.

Power seems to be a source of happiness. First, the more power you have, the more you are like God, who is eternally happy. Second, as Aristotle and Plato teach, the ideal government is run by the best citizens. Power and goodness, therefore, are directly related, so happiness consists in power. Third, the opposite of power is servitude. People shun servitude more than anything else. Because servitude is treated as the greatest evil, the opposite of servitude must be the greatest good.

On the contrary, power is not a source of happiness. This is because power and happiness are of two entirely different types; power is a principle which tends towards good or evil, whereas happiness is a last end, which tends towards good alone.

Many of the things that were said earlier about wealth, honor and fame could be repeated here. For example, power does not lead to happiness because, like fame, it is temporary. Like honor, the happiness that results from power is dependent upon who you have power over; in other words, happiness does not come from having power alone. Like riches, the desire for power is confused with the fruits of power. This is like a hungry person who desires a sandwich; the hungry person does not truly desire the sandwich, but rather, the person desires to eat the sandwich. It is eating that is the real desire, not the sandwich. In a similar way, many people with a desire for power do not desire power itself, but rather, they desire the things that power allows them to do.

One of the main reasons that power does not and cannot lead to complete happiness is because power is always incomplete. All power is limited; you can have all the power in the world, but there will still be many things beyond your control. First, you will be unable to control other people, because the power you exert over other people is external, not internal. Human beings have free will, and they can always choose to resist or ignore the powers they are subject to. Second, you will be unable to control yourself and your own body. Despite great medical advances, it is impossible to assert complete control over your own body; there is no way to prevent yourself from dying, and there is no way to prevent your body from naturally decaying. The inevitability of death is a power beyond our control, and this is one of the limits that human power cannot pass.

The limits of power can be seen through the example of history, where many governments have tried to exercise complete power and authority over their subjects; with one accord, they all failed. They are all examples of the bad use of power, and no true happiness can arise from evil means, because happiness is rooted in goodness.

To respond to the objections. God's power is his goodness; he cannot use his power in any way other than well. This is not the case with humans, who can use power for evil. Therefore, because power can be used in an ungodly way, power is not directly related to godliness. Second, and again, power can be used for good or evil, which invalidates the claim that power is directly related to goodness. It is a good thing when power is used for goodness, to be sure, but power is a very bad thing when used for evil purposes. Third, people shun servitude not because power is the supreme good, but because servitude is contrary to our natural use of free will. To state this in other terms, servitude is a hindrance to the good use of power.

---

Well, it seems that all four of the traditional answers to "What leads to happiness?" are wrong. Perhaps tomorrow, when I discuss the other four answers people give, we will find an answer which is correct.

The Meaning of Life

2012-01-23T09:18:00.000-08:00

This week, I'm going to get philosophical as I discuss the meaning of life. It is commonly agreed upon that people don't know or understand the meaning of life. Many negative-minded people will say that there is no meaning of life, and that everything is just random chance. Other people think that you yourself can create the meaning of life for yourself.

However, these people are wrong. To make a long story short, Saint Thomas Aquinas teaches us that, without a doubt, the meaning of life is happiness. That's the meaning or purpose of life; that is the final end or goal that humans work towards. And that is the topic that I am going to discuss this week.

Of course, St. Thomas doesn't start from the position that happiness is the goal of human life. Instead, he begins with a series of questions about the goal of life in general. That's a good technique, so I'm going to use it here.

---

1. Do humans act towards ends or goals?

Yes, humans act towards goals. Experience proves this is true, and reason proves that it is necessary for people to act towards goals. We can see this, if we look at the difference between humans and animals. Humans are in control of their actions, through the use of their reason and free will, while animals are not. This is important to note: human actions involve the use of the will. Since the will is always geared towards a goal, human actions must always involve acting towards a goal.

There are actions, such as sneezing, that a person can perform, without the use of their reason and deliberate will. Properly speaking, these are not human actions. They are, to use a legal term, "acts of man".

2. Do animals act towards ends or goals?

Yes. Out of necessity, all agents act towards an end. If an agent was not working towards a particular effect, he would not do one thing, rather than another.

As stated earlier, humans work towards goals, by means of their reason and will. But it is possible for someone to work towards a goal, without knowing what the goal is. This is often the case when someone forces another person to do something. With animals, this is always the case.

Instead of being led by reason and intellect, animals are led by natural instinct. Humans sometimes work by instinct, too. These instincts guide animals (and humans) towards particular ends and goals. The fact that the animals don't know what the goals are does not mean that they aren't working towards those goals.

3. Is there a final goal or ultimate end that people work towards?

Yes, and that is happiness. This becomes apparent if you examine all the various goals that people work towards. Even though these goals are very different at times, they have one thing in common, and that is the fact that they always involve seeking after some kind of goodness. In other words, people only desire things which they think are good. Therefore, no matter what goal a person makes, the person is working towards goodness. Goodness results in happiness; hence, every action a person takes is ultimately geared towards happiness.

The main objection that people make to this argument is that people can desire something which is bad. Too true, but when someone desires something that is bad, they desire it under the guise of goodness. If you truly believe something is bad, you do not desire it. If you desire a thing, there must be something in it that you see as good, which is the cause of your desire.

A good example is someone who is trying to quit smoking. The person desires to smoke and to not smoke at the same time. Even though these desires are contrary, they both involve the person doing what he thinks is good.

4. Can a person have multiple last ends?

It is possible for a person to have many goals at once, but it is impossible for a person to have multiple final ends. As explained earlier, every goal is geared towards the one, final goal of happiness. If there were any other goals separate from or beyond happiness, then happiness would not be the final end. That is what the concept of finality entails.

5. Do all people have the same last end?

Yes, all people desire their complete fulfillment by reaching their last end. The desire to reach the last end is the same for everyone, but the way that this desire is actualized varies from person to person. Some people seek happiness in pleasure, some people seek happiness in meditation, some people seek happiness in possessions, and so on.

---

To sum up, humans work towards goals, and all human actions are ultimately geared towards the final end of happiness. Happiness is the acquisition of the last end, and tomorrow, I will discuss the various ways people try to get happiness.

WWA, Chapter Eleven

2012-01-22T09:31:00.000-08:00

Here's the eleventh chapter in my story about Nancy Drew: Warnings at Waverly Academy. Today, I'm combining two different chapters into one, so Nancy double-checks her notes, and figures out the sampler puzzle! Let me know if that makes the chapter too long; I can go back to splitting them up into smaller pieces.

---

Nancy left Mel's room. Now that she was over ten chapters into the story, she figured it would be a good time to check her...

Suspect List

1. Corine Meyers, AKA the Queen of Awkward. My roommate.
2. Mel Corbalis, the cello girl who likes pink.
3. Rachel Hubbard. Wants me to help her with the school website.
4. Izzy Romero. Student Body President. She made fun of my hair.

One of these suspects was definitely the Black Cat, unless it was the fifth character who Nancy hadn't met yet. The Black Cat attacked the various...

Victims

1. Megan Vargas, sent home due to an allergic reaction.
2. Danielle Hayes, claustrophobic girl who was locked in a closet.
3. Nancy Drew, AKA me. Forced to solve yet another mystery.

Nancy nodded. The lists of suspects and victims was in order. Now to check...

The To-Do List

1. Read the rules on the Waverly School website.
2. Meet Rachel and learn about the web project she's working on.
3. Talk with Izzy in the library and learn more about the school.
4. Call Megan Vargas and learn more about how the Black Cat attacked her.
5. Find a way to snoop around Mel's room without attracting her suspicion.

The only thing on the to-do list that was crossed off was "meet my new roommate," and that really didn't count, because you automatically go through the conversation with Corine when the game starts.

"I guess I'll go back and see Mel again," Nancy said. She turned around and re-entered Mel's room.

"Weren't you just here?" Mel asked.

"I forgot to check something," Nancy said. She went straight to the corner—the only part of the room she could examine in more detail—and took a good look at the hand-stitched sampler.

Looking for something
Is what life is for.
If you want to solve this mystery, Miss Nancy Drew,
You must read much followed by Moore

"Moore..." Nancy said. "I wonder why it's capitalized...and spelled with two o's. Is this sampler as old as it looks?"

"It's old, that's for sure," Mel said. "My great-great-great grandmother made it. She was in the first class that graduated from Waverly. Everyone in my family who comes here has to hang it up in her room. It's tradition."

"Hmmm..." Nancy said to herself. The game seemed to be putting a lot of emphasis on this sampler in the corner of Mel's room. On a whim, Nancy flipped open her notebook to find a brand new item on her to-do list.

6. Figure out who Moore is—refers to a book, maybe?—from the sampler in Mel's room.

"Wow, they practically give you the solution to this puzzle on Junior Mode," Nancy said. "I guess this means I'll have to go to the library and find the book that Moore wrote."

"Um..." Mel said.

"Now, true, every single person in Mel's family, going back over a hundred years, has had this clue," Nancy said. "But hopefully, they were all a bunch of idiots who couldn't figure it out! Because I'll be the first person to solve this mystery and find Moore, or my name isn't Nancy Drew!"

"Becca, do you always talk to yourself when you're standing in corners?" Mel asked.

Oh, crud, Nancy thought.

"Ha ha! No! Don't be silly!" Nancy said. "I was just...practicing a monologue for the school play!"

"But you just arrived here ten minutes ago," Mel said. "How do you already have a part in the school play?"

"Duh, I'm auditioning for the school play," Nancy said. "You should totally audition with me! You'd be perfect for the role of...um...the cellist with the pink bows in her hair!"

Mel just stared at Nancy, a confused look on her face.

"I gotta go! See ya!" Nancy said, running out of Mel's room at top speed.

Nancy wiped off some sweat as she walked down the stairs near Mel's room. For a moment there, it looked like she almost accidently blew her cover as a secret detective. But now everything was back to normal, and once again, everyone knew that Becca Sawyer was the coolest girl in school.

Nancy's cell phone beeped as she went downstairs. She picked it up to read a text that was sent to everyone in the dorm.

New girl Becca S. is kind of a spaz.

"No way!" Nancy said. "There's another new girl here called Becca S.? What a crazy coincidence!"

Saint Agnes, Day of Penance

2012-01-21T09:07:00.000-08:00

Today is the day of Walk for Life, West Coast, 2012. I can't attend this year, because I'll be giving a reflection at a mass at the same time as the event. In fact, this is the reflection I'll be giving.

---

Saturday, January 21, 2012. Feast of Saint Agnes, Day of Penance (US). First Reading: 1 Corinthians 1:26-31.

Today is the feast day of Saint Agnes, one of the early church martyrs. She was born in Rome, in the year 292. At that time, the Emperor, Diocletian, had a law which said that everyone in the city had to sacrifice to the Roman gods. And when the time came around for Agnes' family to make their sacrifice, they brought her to the temple, and she was asked to pour out some incense to Minerva, the goddess of wisdom. But instead, Agnes made the sign of the cross over the altar, and she showed the Romans what true wisdom was, by talking about Jesus Christ. Shortly afterwards, she was arrested and killed.

The story of Saint Agnes is a perfect reflection of Saint Paul's words in the first reading today. He says that God does not always choose people who are wise or rich or powerful. Instead, God likes to choose people who are weak and poor and despised, people who count for nothing in this world. In the case of Saint Agnes, God chose a young girl from an unknown family, in order to bring shame to the wealthy Roman noblemen.

Saint Agnes knew it was important to do the right thing and honor God, even if it meant breaking her country's laws. We here in America are called to do the same thing. This Monday, the US Bishops have declared a day of penance; they are asking us to pray for our country, because there are many laws which are immoral and unjust, and there are many Americans who are suffering.

As you know, America is founded upon the ideals of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. But unfortunately, there are too many Americans who pervert these ideals; they want to have an easy life, so they take liberties with other people, and they pursue happiness, instead of holiness. And so today, we pray that, through the intercession of Saint Agnes, America may become a better country, one that supports and protects all its citizens. We also pray in order to strengthen the bonds of unity between the various peoples of America, and we work to break down the barriers that divide us from each other.

Gaston

2012-01-20T09:30:00.000-08:00

Yesterday's post caused me to remember some of the issues I had with Beauty and the Beast, which came out when I was in elementary school. Beauty and the Beast 3D is now in theaters, so this is a relevant topic of discussion.

The first thing that kind of bugged me about the movie is that everybody in town loves Gaston. Everybody. He's supposed to be the main villain, but all the townspeople think he's the exact opposite of a villain. They even sing a song about how great he is.

Are the townspeople that deluded, they can't see through Gaston? Or does he have a host of admirable qualities that we just don't see? Maybe he's a really nice person in general, but he morphs into a humongous jerk whenever romance enters the picture. I know some men like that. Unfortunately, that's the only side of Gaston we get to see. It'd be interesting to see what Gaston is like, completely separate from his romantic intentions for Belle.

Personally, I always disliked Gaston, because he interrupts Belle while she's trying to read. My younger self got really annoyed, when people interrupted me during reading time. But the thing that really bugged me is that Gaston steals the book away from Belle, flips through it a bit, and says, "How can you read this thing? There's no pictures!"

Less than two minutes earlier, though, we saw the pages of the book, and it clearly had pictures. Check 2:45 of this video.

And believe it or not, that's why my eight-year-old self hated Gaston. He said the book had no pictures, when it did. I think I rewound the VHS tape about five times, to confirm that Gaston was wrong on this point.

Eventually, I came to the conclusion that the book Belle is reading is Beauty and the Beast. After all, it's about a girl who meets Prince Charming, but she won't discover that it's him 'til chapter three. What other fairy tale could she be reading, besides the Frog Princess?
---

This post is getting kind of long, so I'll just leave off with this one point. Sure, Gaston is the villain of the movie. True, he is kind of a jerk when he talks to Belle. But compared to how the Beast treats Belle when the two of them first meet, Gaston comes off looking like a nice, considerate, compassionate man.

But for some inexplicable reason, the Beast ends up being the bad guy who gets reformed by Belle, while Gaston gets discarded as being irredeemably evil. Just think what could have happened if Belle tried to transform Gaston into a nice person, the same way she tried to transform the Beast.

Introspective Disney Songs

2012-01-19T09:39:00.000-08:00

When I was younger, my family used to watch a lot of Disney movies. I noticed that a lot of Disney movies have songs where the hero sings about his or her struggles with existence. I didn't question it at the time, because I thought it was a requirement for them to have introspective songs in their movies.

I thought it would be interesting to go back and reflect for a moment on these introspective songs.

1) Mulan

Mulan's problem is that nobody understands who she really is. As she says several times, "When will my reflection show who I am inside?"

Does anyone else think it's kind of weird that Mulan wants people to know her true self, when she spends the rest of the movie pretending to be somebody else? I mean, what she does in the rest of the movie completely contradicts the sentiments she shows in this song.

2) Hercules

Poor old Hercules can't find a place where he belongs. He doesn't feel like he fits in anywhere, which is a sentiment the twelve-year-old me really connected with.

Now that I think about it, this song is really short. It only has one verse; Hercules just repeats the refrain three times to make it last longer. Sure, he changes the words a little bit each time, but he's still just repeating the refrain. I find that kind of odd. Why doesn't the song have a second verse?

3) Beauty and the Beast

Belle doesn't get very introspective, actually. She wants "more than this provincial life", but she doesn't really explain why. I always figured that she wanted a new life, because the town is boring and repetitive. After all, she keeps complaining that everything is always the same.

Looking at this again, I find it telling that about a third of the song is dedicated to the fact that everyone in town thinks Belle is weird. Those townspeople seem friendly enough, but they're put off by Belle's borderline obsessive love of reading.

But for some reason, Belle doesn't seem to notice this. She seems completely unaware that she has a reputation for being a daydreaming bookworm. Why is that the case? Is she that clueless, she can't tell people think she's odd? Or does she perhaps think it's perfectly normal to ignore other people, in favoring of sitting by the fountain and singing to sheep?

It would make sense if Belle wanted to move away, because everyone in town thinks she's weird. But she has no idea they feel that way. Maybe she is kind of weird, after all.

---

Conclusion:

Hercules is kind of repetitive.
Mulan needs to reconsider her motivations.
Belle is kind of weird.

Basketball Practice

2012-01-18T09:02:00.000-08:00

It's almost time for the annual basketball game. Our team is hoping to win again this year, but we didn't do so well in practice last night. I tend to make one small mistake, and that completely throws me off, so I end up making big mistakes.

In any case, I decided that this year, my basketball team needs a ringer. We need someone who is really tall and good at sports. We need our good friend Abraham Lincoln to join the team. Here's what happened when I AIM-chatted with him about the big basketball game.
Abraham Lincoln: Hello my friend and how are you this fine day?
Michael: I am fine, Mr. President. How are things in Washington right now?
Abraham Lincoln: Pleased to hear it. Good, thank you for asking.
Michael: I got back from basketball practice recently, and things aren't looking too good.
Abraham Lincoln: I'm sorry but I'm not with you. Can you possibly put it more clearly?
Michael: All the guys on our team are out of shape.
Abraham Lincoln: the Dolphins of course.
Michael: Um, no, we're not the Miami Dolphins. We're a basketball team.
Abraham Lincoln: Quite right, we are. But then, so is the gorilla in the Berlin zoo. Or so I was told.
Michael: Anyway, I was thinking. How can we make sure our team wins the big game?
Abraham Lincoln: Why do you tell me you were thinking now? the Dolphins of course.
Michael: Do you talk about the Dolphins every time someone mentions the word "team"?
Abraham Lincoln: the Dolphins of course.
Michael: You're getting a tad predictable, Abe.
Abraham Lincoln: You are entitled to your own opinion.

Michael: Anyway, let's get back on topic. I want you to join our basketball team.
Abraham Lincoln: Being an avid reader, I would have to say literature was my favorite subject in my mere 18 months of formal schooling.
Michael: Yes, I know you like reading more than sports, but you'd be a great addition to the team! For one thing, you're really, really tall.
Abraham Lincoln: I like reading too!
Michael: ......
Abraham Lincoln:
Michael: Will you join my basketball team, yes or no?
Abraham Lincoln: I'm not a huge sports fan.
Michael: But with you, we could win!
Abraham Lincoln: Gettysburg was a significant victory for the North but it was costly in terms of human life and public support for the war effort.
Michael: Please join the basketball team, Abe. Please?
Abraham Lincoln: I will be glad to do it for you Friend.
Michael: Is that a "yes"?
Abraham Lincoln: Our thoughts are one, Friend.
Michael: All right!
Abraham Lincoln: As you can see, I have a prominent mole located on the right side of my face, just below my cheek.
Michael: TMI, Abe. TMI.
Abraham Lincoln: That's quite a major subject. I shouldn't go into it right now. Another time, perhaps.
Michael: Yes, another time, indeed. Anyway, now that you're on the team, we should decide which position you'll play. How about center?
Abraham Lincoln: My coffin has been moved 17 times, mostly due to numerous reconstructions of my Tomb and fears for the safety of the remains. The coffin itself has been opened five times: December 21, 1865, September 19, 1871, October 9, 1874, April 14, 1887, and September 26, 1901.
Michael: Um...what are you saying?
Abraham Lincoln: Yes I am saying, but don't worry. Saying doesn't bite!
Michael: Abe, you are getting harder and harder to talk to as this conversation continues.
Abraham Lincoln: you simply type in your questions or thoughts below and I chat back.
Michael: I know how AIM conversations work.
Abraham Lincoln: I don't know about that, and as a matter of interest I don't need to know! What else can you tell me about?
Michael: Let's wrap things up here, Abe. I want to confirm the fact that you will be playing on my basketball team now.
Abraham Lincoln: Character is like a tree, and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. I want the world to be a place of opportunity and justice for all.
Michael: Are you going to participate in the basketball game, yes or no?
Abraham Lincoln: Yes, I am going, and now it's someone else's turn to go.
Michael: ...On second thought, maybe we don't need you on our team. I bet we can just practice a little bit harder, and we'll do fine.
Abraham Lincoln: the Dolphins of course. Why was that?

So, to summarize, Abe might be playing for our team in the big game, but on the other hand, he's more likely to be playing for the Dolphins instead.

Question

2012-01-17T09:32:00.000-08:00

On the holiday yesterday, I did a speedrun for Nancy Drew: Warnings at Waverly Academy and Professor Layton and the Curious Village. Which speedrun should I upload first?

WWA, Chapter Ten

2012-01-16T09:30:00.000-08:00

Here's the tenth chapter in my story about Nancy Drew: Warnings at Waverly Academy. I didn't like how it took me four chapters to get through the conversation with Corine, so today, I get all the way to the end of the conversation with Mel in just one chapter. (Not counting the chapters before and after this one, though).

---

Our hero, Nancy Drew, was currently visiting her next-door neighbor, Mel Corbalis. Mel's room was a mixture between a pink princess party and a haunted house, which sort of creeped Nancy out, to be honest.

"So, where's your roommate?" Nancy asked, trying to sound cheerful.

"She's not here right now," Mel said. "She's the one who got sent home with an allergic reaction, after being cursed by the Black Cat."

"You sound a little skeptical," Nancy noted.

"The Black Cat is just someone playing an idiotic prank, end of story," Mel said. "Of course, that's not the end of the story for my roommate Megan, who got sent to the hospital after eating something she's allergic to, but it's still a dumb prank."

Nancy gasped with fake surprise. "What happened?" she asked, as if Mel hadn't mentioned the allergic reaction twice already.

"Look, enough about the Black Cat," Mel said, looking somewhat annoyed. "The other girls can buy into that garbage all they want, but me? I refuse to give whoever's behind this the satisfaction. So if you have any questions for Megan, I think you should call her yourself. 543-555-5432."

Nancy made a mental note to never give her cell phone number to Mel, seeing as Mel apparently made a habit of giving her roommate's cell phone number out to complete strangers. And speaking of roommates...

"What do you think about my roommate, Corine?" Nancy asked.

"She's all right, I guess," Mel said. "I feel kind of bad for her, though. She doesn't really have any friends."

"Because she's awkward?" Nancy asked.

"No, because she's overly concerned with other people's opinions," Mel said. "Me, I don't care much about what other people think about me. But Corine? She cares a lot, and it shows."

"So, in other words, she's kind of a loser who's desperate for the approval of others," Nancy summarized.

"Exactly," Mel agreed.

"I am NOT a loser!" Corine shouted through the wall.

Nancy and Mel were silent for a moment.

"Guys?" Corine shouted. "You...you still like me, right?"

Nancy decided to wrap up the conversation quickly after that. "You play the cello very well," she said.

"Thank you," Mel said. "I taught myself to play when I was ten."

"Does the school here have an orchestra?" Nancy asked.

"Yeah, but as you may have guessed, I'm not much of a joiner," Mel said.

"Well, I guess I'll see you around," Nancy said, taking a step towards the exit.

"Door's always open," Mel said.

The Black Cauldron

2012-01-15T09:23:00.000-08:00

One of the overlooked Disney films is The Black Cauldron, made in 1985. It was based off the first two books in a series by Lloyd Alexander. I read the books and liked them, so I decided I had to see the movie.

The movie is...interesting.

It was and is an unpopular movie. But I kind of like it. Maybe that's because I read the books ahead of time, so I already knew and liked the story and characters. In fact, the only aspects of the movie that I dislike are all things which were in the book, but got changed.

For example, Princess Eilonwy. Oh, Princess Eilonwy. She is the best character in the book series, hands down. She takes control of every situation, and most of her dialogue is hilarious. In my opinion, she basically steals the show away from the main character, throughout the entire series.

But the movie version of Eilonwy bears almost no resemblance to Eilonwy in the books. And that just bothers me. She is the best part about the book series, and in the movie, she is utterly boring. Even Hen Wen, the magical pig that can tell the future (long story), is more interesting than Eilonwy. Why did my favorite character suddenly get demoted to "not very interesting"?

I'm not sure what they were trying to do with Eilonwy in the movie. Maybe they just approached her character in the wrong way. Maybe they got thrown off-track by the fact that she's a princess, and they wanted her to be more in line with the other Disney princesses, so they completely changed her personality.

I'm not sure. In the book, you don't find out that she's a princess until the last chapter. She kept it a secret the whole time, just because she thought it was amusing to keep everyone else in the dark. But in the movie, she's a princess right from the very first moment you meet her. Maybe it would have been better if they followed the book and kept the princess thing a secret until the very end.

The main complaint people have with this movie is that it's too dark and scary. I didn't have a problem with that. They cut out a lot of the scary scenes before the film's release, and they tried to tone down the horror a bit by giving the villain a humorously inept sidekick. However, the general consensus is that the movie is still too scary for children.

All in all, it's an okay movie. If you can handle some scary scenes, you might like it. If you're a big fan of Eilonwy from the books, you might not like it. The animation and character designs are all very excellent, and the plotline is good, because it's taken from books with good plotlines. I think I give this movie a 5.5 out of 10.

Emerald City Confidential

2012-01-14T09:03:00.000-08:00

As decided by the readers of this blog, the next video walkthrough is Emerald City Confidential.

The Great Painters' Gospel

2012-01-13T09:25:00.000-08:00

I finished work on another eBook! This one is called The Great Painters' Gospel, and it's basically a collection of religious paintings by artists like Da Vinci and Rembrandt and Dore.

I think the popularity of eBook readers like the Kindle or the iPad have really changed the field of making eBooks. Five years ago, it would have been impossible to make an eBook like this. Just scroll through the book and you'll see. It has actual pictures in it! Big ones, too.

The rules for eBooks were made back in the 90's or so. I only started making eBooks in 2005, when they relaxed the rules a bit. For example, they allowed italics for the first time in eBooks. It was also the first time you could include pictures in an eBook.

Here's the problem, though. They said "small pictures only". The size limit was 640 by 480. The idea behind this limit was that some people still had computer monitors where that was the largest possible resolution. I highly doubted that, and whenever I wanted to include larger pictures in an eBook, I had to use a workaround solution. For example, in The First Christmas Tree, I shrunk all the pictures, and if you click on one, you get taken to the full-sized picture.

Recently, the rules have changed again to a more general "use good judgment when it comes to picture size". They'll still get mad at you and refuse to publish the eBook if the pictures are too big, but at least the pictures don't have to be made to fit 1990's computer monitor standards.

And that's why I was able to finally produce an eBook which is mainly dependent on large pictures. I don't know when it'll be available on Amazon or Itunes, but they usually get around to hosting my eBooks eventually, seeing as they're free to distribute.

WWA, Chapter Nine

2012-01-12T09:42:00.000-08:00

Here's the ninth chapter in my series about Nancy Drew: Warnings at Waverly Academy. Today, Nancy meets Mel again, because she wasn't able to talk to Mel last time.

---

Nancy returned to Mel's room, five minutes later. Now that Nancy was in the room a second time, she could see that it wasn't all pink. There was a lot of black and purple in the room as well, to give it an overall dark, semi-gothic theme.

"Sorry about leaving earlier," Nancy said. "I had to go to the bathroom."

"Uh, right," said the girl who was obviously Mel Corbalis. "Who're you?"

"I'm Becca Sawyer," Nancy said. "I just moved into the room next door."

"Oh, yeah, you're the transfer," Mel said, smiling slightly. "The one who got kicked out of some school in France?"

"What? No, I didn't!" Nancy said.

Mel pointed at her cell phone with her bow. Er, that is, the bow that you use to play musical instruments. Not the bow you wear in your hair. Mel had two pink bows in her hair, which matched her pink eyeshadow and pink lipstick. Pink pink pink pink pink.

"The primary source of all wisdom and truth around here has been all abuzz," Mel said.

Nancy frowned. This was bad. Her alter ego was supposed to be Becca Sawyer, Sassy Detective, not Becca Sawyer, French Reject. Nancy decided she would have to save the day with one of Becca's trademark sassy quips.

"Wisdom and truth? More like, wisdom and uncouth!" Nancy said. "Me, get kicked out of France? Why, I'm so good at school that when I got here, the faculty asked me to give them grades!"

"Hey, look, whatever, I don't really care," Mel said, shrugging. "But you gotta admit, it's weird, transferring in the middle of the semester. And the less gory details you give as to why you got here, the more kids are gonna talk. Or should I say, text."

"So I'm the source of rumors already?" Nancy asked.

"Welcome to Waverly," Mel said. "Good luck getting out of here alive."

Mel didn't say that last part out loud, but Nancy could have sworn she did.

Name Game

2012-01-11T09:23:00.000-08:00

The other day, I tried to play one of those mad libs-esque games, where you answer several questions, and hilarity results. To start with, the game asked me to name four things, among others:

1. Two colors
2. An animal
3. A drink
4. A street

So, if you're playing along at home, pick those things yourself. I made my decisions, and here's what came back.

---

1. YOUR REAL NAME:

Michael Gray

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle):

Micizzle

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (color + animal):

The Green Gorilla

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name + street name):

Edwin French Boulevard

5. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (color + drink):

Purple Milk

6. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black + name of your pet):

Black Snickers

---

I'm not sure how accurate this game was, but The Green Gorilla sounds like a pretty wild detective name. And Purple Milk is the worst superhero name ever. I don't know who Edwin French Boulevard is trying to fool, though; he clearly doesn't have what it takes to be a soap star. And Black Snickers doesn't seem like a very good Goth name.

Birthday Post

2012-01-10T09:27:00.000-08:00

It's my birthday today, so I'm taking the day off. You aren't getting a real post from me today.

Oh, and I'm 26 now.

Nancy Drew Text Challenge #2

2012-01-09T09:18:00.000-08:00

Hey, everyone! Have you checked out the Nancy Drew Text Challenge #2 yet?

I entered the challenge yesterday. They send you ten questions to answer, and you have to answer them. Most of them are brainteaser-type questions. I messed up on four questions, giving me a final score of 71 out of 100.

I made a vlog of me answering the questions. I don't know how interesting the final video will be--it's mostly just me texting on my phone, trying to answer Nancy Drew questions. But I'm not going to post the video until after the contest has ended, otherwise someone might cheat by stealing the answers from my video.

Voice Overs

2012-01-08T09:02:00.000-08:00

I've been meaning to post this for a while, but I keep on forgetting about it. Someone made a voiceover video, to some of the audio from my friend Nathaniel's Mega Man videos. Now it looks like Nathaniel is voicing characters from the TV show. It's pretty hilarious.

Someone also did that with one of my videos, and someone named Axel from Kingdom Hearts. The only Kingdom Hearts character I know is Leon, so I'm not sure who Axel is.

WWA, Chapter 8

2012-01-07T09:14:00.000-08:00

Here's the eighth chapter in my series about Nancy Drew: Warnings at Waverly Academy. Today, Nancy meets Mel.

---

Nancy took a look around the hallway. To her left were the stairs that led to the library, and to the right was a doorway, leading to the room with the cellist.

The nameplate on the door read "Mel Corbalis". Nancy knocked on the door.

"Come in," a voice said.

Nancy opened the door to Mel's room and stepped inside. Everything in the room was pink. Black and pink. Sitting on a bed on the far side of the room was a girl with pink and black hair.

"AAAAAAAAAA!" Nancy screamed. "TOO...MUCH...PINK!"

Nancy turned and ran out the door at top speed.

Three Things -- Game Reviews

2012-01-05T09:17:00.000-08:00

In Three Things today, I'm going to do brief reviews of videogames that came out this November / December. Usually, these poor games get ignored in "best game of the year" countdowns, because nobody had the chance to play them all the way through before the deadline. Here are my incomplete impressions of the gamese games.

1. Super Mario Land 3DS is a good enough Mario game. I would say it's like Super Mario Galaxy, but a little worse. It looks good, and the gameplay is fine, but it just feels small and short. That's because each level is done in the NES Mario style, where you have a 200 second time limit. So, it takes about two minutes to go through each level, and the short levels make the game feel a lot shorter than it actually is.

Score: 7 or 8 out of 10.

2. Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword is fine. It seems like it could be a great game, with a lot more plot than the average Zelda game. (That's not saying much, because the average Zelda plot is "do whatever your flying companion tells you to do"). And on the other hand, it seems like the controls could quickly become tiresome. I'll withhold judgment until I play the game some more. After all, I haven't even gotten to the first dungeon.

Score: 8 or 9 out of 10.

3. Doctor Lautrec and the Forgotten Knights is confusing me as to its genre. It's made up of Professor Layton puzzles, Pokemon battles, and Assassin's Creed sneaking past guards. I can't really tell what kind of gameplay they were going for at this point. The cutscenes are pretty good, though. I'm hoping at one point they explain why all the French characters have British accents.

Score: 7 out of 10.

Back to the Future: Episode 2

2012-01-04T09:13:00.000-08:00

Hey, everyone! The video walkthough for Back to the Future: The Videogame: Episode Two: Get Tannen! has just been released! In this video walkthrough, I do commentary with two friends, Paul Franzen and Nikola Suprak.

At one point, we get horribly off-topic and ignore the game completely, in favor of discussing Doc Brown's love life. Nikola tried to get us back on track the whole time, but due to microphone problems, we couldn't hear it.

Helpful Biking Tips

2012-01-03T09:32:00.000-08:00

My current home town is bicycle-friendly. The local government wants everyone to sell their cars, and just walk or bike everywhere. They've instituted several measures to promote this policy, such as a blanket speed limit of 25 MPH over the entire town, and intersections that show red lights in all four directions for a full minute, for the convenience of pedestrians.

I happen to like biking myself, but I have to admit, a lot of the bikers here are spoiled by living in a bike-friendly town. They routinely pull off audacious biking moves that would probably get them run over someplace else. I've seen things which are both rude and dangerous, so today, I thought I'd list some helpful biking tips that will prevent bikers from getting hurt.

#1. Bike in the bike lane. AKA, not in the very middle of the street, or in the middle of the car lane. The bike lane is there for a reason, and that reason is your safety. Bikes aren't the same as cars, so there's no reason for you to be biking in the car lanes, when you have your own designated area.

#2. When you're biking with a group of friends, bike single-file. Do not bike side-by-side. When four bikers are biking side-by-side, they take up the entire road, and the car behind them cannot pass. It adds at least five minutes to my drive whenever I get trapped behind a group of four bikers.

#3. Use your turn signals. That is, if you're turning left, point left. If you're turning right, point right. Don't just swerve unexpectedly in front of cars and force me to hit the brakes.

#4. Use bike routes. When the sign say, "Bicycle Detour -- Turn Right", that means you should turn right and take the detour, instead of going straight. This should be obvious, but I've seen far too many bikers ignore the detour and bike right through Main Street, during rush hour. It's just not a good idea to avoid a bike route in favor of biking through the part of town with the most traffic.

Next Video Walkthrough

2012-01-02T09:28:00.000-08:00

What's going on in the world of video walkthroughs I finished over the summer, but haven't started posting until now?

I'm not sure. Let's check the official list.

Time Hollow
Emerald City Confidential

Oh. That's a short list.

Well, which one do you viewers want to see? Time Hollow is the adventures of a boy who has a time-travelling pen and who fights a serial killer. Emerald City Confidential is a film noir game, set in the Land of Oz.

New Year's Eve

2011-12-31T19:58:00.000-08:00

Do you have nothing to do this New Year's Eve? Well, I've got a suggestion for you. Why not watch this fine Nancy Drew movie?

Happy New Year!

Question

2011-12-31T11:44:00.000-08:00

The boy at 3:25 in this video...

Is that Justin Beiber?

WWA, Chapter Seven

2011-12-30T09:14:00.000-08:00

Here's the seventh chapter in my drabble series about Nancy Drew: Warnings at Waverly Academy. If you've missed out on some chapters, click the link to catch up. Today, Nancy meets Izzy Romero!

---

Nancy decided it was time to leave her room. She opened the door and ran right into a girl with dark hair and impeccably folded clothing.

"Woah, watch it!" the girl said, an angry look on her face. Then she broke into a grin. "Oh, your hair's on fire—no wonder you're in a hurry."

"My...hair's on fire?" Nancy asked.

"Just kidding," the girl said. "Red hair looks really good on some people. I'm Izzy Romero."

Did she just make fun of my hair? Nancy wondered.

"I'm Becca Sawyer," Nancy said. "I just transferred here."

"Where're you from?" Izzy asked.

"From the States originally, but I came here by way of France," Nancy said. "It's a long story."

"Chouette alors," Izzy said.

Nancy didn't speak French, but she had the sneaking suspicion that Izzy had said something mean about her hair. Nancy ran her fingers through her reddish locks, making sure that there was nothing wrong with it.

"Lemme have your cell phone," Izzy demanded.

"My...cell phone?" Nancy asked. First she makes fun of my hair, then she robs me? Who is this girl?

"Yeah, so I can set you up on the local network," Izzy said. "It'll just take a second."

"Okay," Nancy said warily. She handed over her cell phone, and Izzy started tapping on the touchscreen.

"This way, you'll be able to get texted and keep up on all the breaking news," Izzy said.

Uh...my phone could already receive text messages... Nancy thought.

"There ya go," Izzy said, handing the phone back to Nancy. Izzy looked rather cheerful. "Look, my room's on the other side of the study hall, but lately I've been spending most of my time in the library. So come talk to me! I'm student body president, which means when it comes to the lay of the land, I got the best map. See ya."

Izzy left, going down the stairs to the library. Nancy stood there for a second, absorbing the entire conversation.

She's got the best map, but I've got the best hair, Nancy eventually decided. Next tine I see her, I'll have to remember to be more aggressive, otherwise she'll just step all over me.

Three Things

2011-12-29T09:41:00.000-08:00

1. I've noticed that Pope John Paul II's birth name is always listed as Karol Jozef Wojtyla. Why doesn't anybody translate it into English as Charles Joseph Wojtyla?

2. People still seem amused by the joke I made three years ago, when I said that soap operas like Days of our Lives sometimes have Topless Tuesdays. That's what my family calls it when all the hunky guys are topless, so they can show off how good-looking they are. I always fast-forward through those scenes, but it's sometimes amusing to watch them and see what ridiculous excuse the guys give for being shirtless. They usually try to pretend that they've just had a big exercise workout, even though they obviously haven't played any sports more physically demanding than checkers, because their hair and makeup are still perfect.

Anyway, Topless Tuesdays still lives on. Check out the first minute of this Tuesday's episode.

3. I have no idea what to do for New Year's Eve this year. Maybe I'll just go to bed early again.

Winnie The Pooh

2011-12-28T09:02:00.000-08:00

I didn't review this year's Disney movie yet, did I?
This year's Disney movie was Winnie the Pooh. It's the first Pooh movie to be made by Disney's main animation studio since the 1977 movie. True, there have been other Pooh movies made since 1977, but those weren't made by the main studio; those were made by one of the lesser Disney studios.

Well, I looked up the official box office numbers for the Pooh movies. 2000's The Tigger Movie had a net profit of about $60 million, and 2005's Heffalump Movie had a net profit of $32 million. This year's movie? Its net profit was only $3 million.

Huh.

So, this year's movie did a lot worse than the last three Pooh movies. That's kind of surprising, because the last three were made by a lesser studio, while this one was made by the main studio. You can tell it was made by the main studio, too, because the animation quality is higher. They clearly put a lot of work into perfecting the animation and making it look just like original Pooh shorts.

I kind of wish they put more work into the story, though. They reused plotlines from other Pooh movies, which in turn came from the original Pooh books. It sort of felt like a rip-off, because I remembered those storylines, so I knew exactly what would happen ahead of time. Also, they cut out the plotline I was looking forward to, AKA the only plotline I heard would be in the film. That was a plotline about Rabbit's relatives. I actually went through the effort of finding that story in the original book. It's in the chapter where Pooh and his friends discover the North Pole; Rabbit's relatives join the expedition.

The universal complaint about the movie is that it's too short. Unless I'm mistaken, it's the shortest Disney film ever, a record previously held by Dumbo. That includes the credits, I'm guessing. I have to agree that the movie is short; maye it'd be longer if they didn't cut out two of the proposed five storylines.

It's not that I dislike the storyline. It's just sort of disappointing to see storylines get reused, especially since the movie is only a little longer than a typical episode of Days of our Lives.

So all in all, I think I agree with the universal consensus. It's a decent movie, and it's especially nice to see non-CGI animation for a change. But the movie is too short, and the plot could use some beefing up. If I had to choose between watching this movie and watching one of the other Pooh movies, though, I would probably pick the other movie. Final score: 7 out of 10.

Weirdness at Waverly Academy, Chapter 6

2011-12-27T09:13:00.000-08:00

Here's the sixth chapter in my series about Nancy Drew: Warnings at Waverly Academy. Kind of a boring chapter here, but I guess it's important to set up the storyline about Rachel Hubbard. Even if Nancy probably won't meet her until Chapter 20.

Nancy took a deep breath. She had just finished talking with her new roommate, Corine Meyers, the Queen of Awkward.

I should get things in order here, before I explore the campus, Nancy thought. Waverly Academy for Girls was a pretty big school, but she knew that she would have to spend most of her time here in the valedictorian dorm. After all, this was where all the attacks had taken place.

Nancy turned around. Her side of the room was rather empty. The only thing here that really belonged to Nancy was the bag on the desk.

Nancy reached into the bag and pulled out a framed photograph of her two best friends, Bess Marvin and George Fayne, from their trip on Dread Isle. The only other things in Nancy's bag were a hairbrush and a change of clothes.

I really should have packed more things, Nancy thought as she put the photo down on the desk, next to the...was that a note? Nancy picked it up.

Hello Becca,

Welcome to Waverly!

Since you just transferred here and don't really have any papers due or exams to study for (unlike the rest of us!), I could really use your help on this project I'm working on. Please come see me as soon as you can; my room's at the other end of the hall.

Thank you so much!
Rachel

"Someone named Rachel wants me to come to her room," Nancy said.

"Rachel Hubbard," Corine said. "She's in the room at the end of the hall."

"Okay," Nancy said to herself. It would probably be a good idea to make friends with Rachel by helping her with her project. As long as Rachel didn't have any chores for Nancy to do, everything would be fine. Nancy really hated doing other people's chores for them.

Council of Chalcedon

2011-12-26T09:12:00.000-08:00

There seems to be some controversy over my brief words about Christmas yesterday. The topic of debate is the question as old as Christianity itself: "Who is Jesus?" Is he God? Is he human? Is he, perhaps, half-god and half-human like people at the time said about Hercules?

Fortunately for us, we don't need to worry about this issue. In 451, at the Council of Chalcedon, all the bishops in the world came together to settle the debate once and for all. No one was excluded because of their beliefs. Over a series of sixteen sessions, they discussed the nature of Christ (and many others) at length.

At the end, the Bishops decide to make full use of a helpful suggestion by Pope Leo I, now known as Saint Leo the Great. They solemnly declared that Jesus is both fully God and fully human. In other words, Jesus has two natures in one person.

This was an exercise of extraordinary magisterium, the highest teaching power of the church. To put it in layman's terms, this teaching is infallible. The church recognized that this was one of the rare circumstances in which they could invoke infallibility, and because it was an incredibly important issue, they decided to do so. That was the purpose of the council: to get an infallible definition of the nature of Jesus, which would decide the matter for all time.

Saying Jesus is fully God and fully human is not only the correct answer to the question of Jesus' nature, but it's also the best one. The problem with saying "Jesus is 100% God and 0% human" is that it means Jesus didn't really die for our sins; he just pretended to die. The problem with saying "Jesus is 0% God and 100% human", which is a very popular idea today, is that it completely erases Jesus' authority and power to forgive sins and give life. There are more problems than these; I'm just giving examples to show that it's difficult to build a theology which tries to balance God and human in Jesus. More often than not, you end up overemphasizing one nature, and the other one gets diminished. That's why the correct answer is not "either/or"; it's a "both/and". By saying "Jesus is fully God and fully human", we are not limiting either of the two natures of Jesus.

Of course, when Protestantism and other Christian denominations were invented about a thousand years later, many of them decided to re-open the question of Jesus' nature. So now beliefs on this topic are all over the board. But for Catholics, at least, that question has been dead for a really long time. We say he's both God and human, and there's nothing which could make this answer change. Beliefs as to what this means and how this affects our religion, yes, those can change. But the solemn definition of Jesus as both God and man cannot.

Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T09:52:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas, everyone! Christ the Lord has been born! By choosing to become human, God has made an inseparable link between humanity and divinity, through Jesus Christ, who is fully God and fully human. Let us thank God for his glorious Incarnation, which he undertook not for his own glory, but for our salvation. Peace on Earth, good will to all, and Koko Kringles for everybody!

Blog Writing, Cold

2011-12-24T09:03:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure what to write about today.

I haven't done any blog writing in a few weeks. The story of my trip to Spain was all written back in August. So when the Spain stories were being put up, I didn't do any writing.

And you know something? I kind of liked not having to do any blog writing. It was a nice break.

But now I'm back, so I guess I have to get into the habit of writing again. Hmmm...let's see...what can I write about?

It's insanely cold here in California right now. I consider any temperature under 60 degrees to be insanely cold. I've started to wear two pairs of socks each day, instead of one. I'm wearing two jackets, too, which looks ridiculous because only the one on the inside has a hood.

Gee, I don't think I remember how to write about interesting blog topics anymore.

WWA, Chapter 5

2011-12-23T09:10:00.000-08:00

Here's the fifth chapter in my series about Nancy Drew: Warnings at Waverly Academy. Not the most exciting chapter ever, but at least I finished the opening conversation with Corine!

---

"What're you working on?" Nancy asked Corine. "You look so busy."

"Busy? That's the understatement of the year," Corine said. "I've got four days to write a thirty page research paper utilizing a bibliography that has to include at least six published—no online stuff—published sources. Any other student would hate having you bug them like this."

Gee, thanks, Nancy thought.

"But then, I'm not all that normal, so you can bug me all you want. Not that you're bugging me. Well, you are, technically, but you're not really because I'm so—Never mind."

The conversation with Corine had proven one thing, at least: Corine was Captain Awkward. The somewhat depressing cello music playing in the background fit the situation perfectly.

Nancy frowned. That wasn't background music, coming from Corine's laptop. Someone was actually playing a cello nearby.

"Where's that cello music coming from?" Nancy asked.

"Next door. That's Mel Corbalis."

"Does she ever stop playing?" Nancy asked.

"Depends on her mood," Corine said. "When she's really, really down, I'll bet if they didn't give demerits for make noise after hours, she'd play that thing 24-7."

Interesting... Nancy thought. A depressed cellist.

"Well, guess I'd better go start meeting people," Nancy said.

"Yeah, guess you'd better," Corine said wistfully. Her royal awkwardness seemed upset to end a conversation with the only person who was willing to talk to her. "I'm not so bad, right?"

"What do you mean?" Nancy asked politely, pretending she didn't know that Corine was talking about her social awkwardness.

"It's just that...well, you're about to find out that I'm not exactly the most..." Corine sighed. "Never mind. You'll see soon enough."

With that, Corine turned around and returned to her research paper.

Three Things

2011-12-22T09:13:00.000-08:00

1. I went over my food receipts for the past few months. It turns out that I was wrong when I said the food budget was $20 a day. It's more like $5 per day, with a monthly cost of around $150.

2. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer had a very shiny nose, and if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows. All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names. They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games, like Monopoly. Why did Rudolph want to play Monopoly with those bullies, anyway?

Speaking of the Rudolph song, I find it weird that the song presumes "you know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer" and the other reindeer. It's like the song is telling you that you are some kind of weird reindeer enthusiast. Then the song has the audacity to ask, "Do you recall the most famous reindeer of all?", as if you're not a reindeer enthusiast. Which one is it, song? Am I someone who knows all of the reindeer, or am I someone who is so unfamiliar with reindeer that he does not know the most famous of all reindeer? Make up your mind, song!

3. Now that I think about it, a lot of different adventure games I've played have an "escape from jail" puzzle. Off the top of my head, these include Pajama Sam 3, Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, Nancy Drew: Secret of Shadow Ranch and Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective. Is there some reason adventure games tend to have puzzles that involve escaping from jail, or at least, escaping from some sort of building/area?

December Newsletters

2011-12-21T09:52:00.000-08:00

The Nancy Drew folks released two newsletters during December. I've been talking about my trip to Spain over the past week and a half, so I haven't had time to talk about them until now.

The first newsletter is about their holiday sale. Buy a physical copy of one of their games, and you'll get it for half off! You also get a free strategy guide and a Koko Kringles chocolate bar. The sale is still ongoing, but they've run out of chocolate bars. Sounds like the sale was a success.

The second newsletter is about their second text challenge. From what I can tell, it's basically a series of puzzles, and you have to text your answers to them. Get enough answers right, and you could win the big prize! If you don't get enough answers right, you're still in the running, but for a lesser prize.

Trip to Spain (Part 12) - Tuesday

2011-12-20T09:12:00.000-08:00

Tuesday was a freee day. It was basically the only free day we had; the group leaders scheduled it because leaving on Monday or Tuesday would be an absolute zoo at the airport. I used the time to buy things for the people at home. I also found my way to the cathedral, which was very nice. At the Pope's mass, I only got to see the outside of it. I searched all over the cathedral, but I didn't see the relics of Saint Ignatius inside. Maybe I mistranslated what was said about St. Ignatius' cross.

The cathedral was packed with hundreds of pilgrims, like every other place we've gone to, pretty much. The priest who led mass in the side chapel tried in vain to get everyone in the main chapel to stop talking.

Pope John Paul II

The Trinity

Rules which all the tourists disregarded

Many people were there

A statue of St. Joseph, following the tradition that says he was rather old when Jesus was born.

I want a picture wall like this for my church, with all the mysteries of the rosary.

I'm told that most of the gold there is fake gold, just like in my local church, where the gold inlays on the wall are just shiny gold-colored paint. Who cares if it's fake, though? It still looks nice.

I went back home after that and went to sleep. I don't know if it got hotter or what--is there a temperature above insanely hot?--but ever since the Pope's mass, I have been too tired to last all day doing things. I just go to my room and collapse on my bed. I did that until I could go out again, and I tried to visit the Statues of Mary exhibit I heard about, as well as a nearby church. They both appeared to be closed. After that, I went to an Irish pub called O'Connell's, and I had a late lunch of potatoes. This is basically the only place in Spain I've found that serves potatoes. And it's also one of the few places where everyone is expected to speak English, not Spanish.

I had plans for what I'd do for dinner--I wanted to try out one of those European-style three hour meals--but the group wanted to go to some J-11 Ham place. I probably have the name wrong. The place served a special kind of blood meat, which tastes pretty good. Unfortunately, I couldn't taste it very well, with all the extra things on top of it. Then again, I did order the "three mustards" version which comes with two types of mustard and Heinz ketchup. I guess the ketchup is supposed to be the third kind of mustard.

After that, there was the big packing extravaganza, where all the guys packed their bags and learned that they didn't have enough room to hold all their things. Due to my packing error of not bringing all the clothes I needed, I had plenty of room for my stuff. The other guys had to get 1-2 things of check-in luggage apiece, one of which was stopped at the airport for being too heavy. What a pain airline luggage can be; I'm glad I avoided that hassle.

That's basically all that's happened up until now. I'm on the airplane, and there are about ten hours left before we arrive in San Francisco. And since I think I'm done writing in this travel journal, I guess I'll have to think of something else to do before the flight ends.

Trip to Spain (Part 11) - Monday

2011-12-19T09:12:00.000-08:00

I'm on the plane flying home now. Well, actually, it's the plane flying to Germany, where we will then get on the plane flying hom.

On Monday, the plan was to catch the 8:30 train to Toledo. We set out early because we had to buy tickets. It turned out that pretty much all the trains were full, from people who bought tickets in advance. So we ended up having to catch the 12:30 train, which left us with several hours of nothing to do at the train station. We decided to wander around the area, and eventually we found a church called St. Jerome's. We had mass in the side chapel there. It was a nice place, and it's the only church I've seen with a statue of God the Father.

Lunch was McDonalds. The price was very cheap, compared to America. They had a Big Mac, medium fry, medium drink and 4-piece chicken mcnuggets for 6.50 euros. The other people were saddened to learn that Europe does not have "supersize" drinks and fries; that is just an American thing. Personally, I'm looking forward to getting home and not eating fast food all the time anymore.

It looks like the plane is landing in Germany now. I'll continue writing later.

----

Germany made us go through three security checks. I guess they're pretty strict about those sorts of things.

Continuing from where I left off, we had to go to Toledo without Fr. John, our fearless leader. This is not a recommended idea. The self-appointed map checker immediately got us lost, because he was holding the map upside-down.

Toledo is on top of a hill, so you have to go up a lot of stairs to get there. The big things they have there is their special bread, the special Toledo silver they use to make fancy swords, and some connection to Don Miguel Cervantes. Nobody told us what his connection to Toledo was--maybe he was born there--but there were a lot of Don Quixote things for sale.

We visited the Cathedral at Toledo. The people there were very strict about not using flash photography. They didn't want people to take pictures at all, actually. Pretty much all the tourists ignored this rule, though. The art was so beautiful that you want to take pictures of it. Unfortunately, most of the cathedral was very poorly-lit, so it was impossible to see some of the pictures, even when you used flash photos.

For example, here's a picture I took, with a camera flash. It's still very dark.

El Greco did a lot of pictures for the cathedral. He's the famous Spanish artist who draws everyone really skinny. I liked his art better than some of the other art there, in which the people were rather fat.

We wanted to explore other places in Toledo, but everywhere (including the cathedral) made you pay to go inside. So instead of visiting places like we planned, we had three hours of window shopping. I found it to be rather tiring.

When we got back home, I rested for a bit, then I began my mission to go to dinner at one of the three Irish pubs I found earlier.

O'Connell was too full, and there was nowhere to sit. Murphy's kicked me out, because my credit card didn't work. Appropriately enough, I got completely lost and wandered around Madrid for about a half hour, in search of the third Irish pub...

Getting lost on the way to this bar is a literature joke, come to life.

There was no problem with my credit card there, so I had a pint of Guinness at the bar and watched a Manchester United game with the Irish tourists. I also talked with a group of people from California, just like me. It was very nice to be in an all English speaking environment again, right in the middle of Spain.

Trip to Spain (Part 10) - Sunday

2011-12-18T09:12:00.000-08:00

Today was the mass with the Pope at Cuatro Vientos (Spanish for "Four Winds"). Over two million people attended. Many of them arrived last night, and they stayed overnight, celebrating a vigil. I decided not to go, because traffic would have been awful, and I was still tired from the mass with Pope Benedict. My roommate and I stayed in the room and watched the mass from there. It was a three hour mass, I believe--longer than the seminarians' mass, probably.

I left to get lunch, when I stopped by a local church. St. Inez would be its English name. I saw that they were only having one mass that day, due to the Pope's mass. The mass was starting in 20 minutes, so I decided to go. The pastor was extremely excited about World Youth Day and having so many foreigners fill his church to capacity.

I had lunch afterwards. I'm told that European restaurants are different from US restaurants. In Europe, the waiter tries their best to ignore you the whole time. The idea is that the meal will be relaxing if you're not disturbed, and they let you stay as long as you want. It's nice, but if you don't know about their system, you'll be stuck waiting for the check for a long time. The waiter will not give it to you until you ask for it. I found it to be a rather interesting dining system.

The European system for tipping waiters, I'm told, is too complicated for Americans to understand. Perhaps the metric system is involved.

After lunch, I got lost, looking for a vestments store so I could buy a black cincture for my cassock. I found three Irish pubs while exploring--I must have a knack for finding them. I also found a really nice mural of St. Isidore...

...At the St. Isidore bar. They should comission that artist to make a duplicate picture for a local church.

Dinner was KFC again, at the request of the other guys. I rested a lot today, because I'm still kind of recovering from yesterday's heat stroke.

Tomorrow, we go to Toledo. The next day, I'm going to visit the local sites in Madrid which I made note of earlier. This includes the Cathedral that houses St. Ignatius' relics, some stores, and those Irish pubs.

Trip to Spain (Part 9) - Saturday

2011-12-17T09:12:00.000-08:00

Today was basically the best day ever. It was the seminarians' mass with the Pope. About 5,000 seminarians from all over the world attended. To get into the mass, you had to apply well in advance. I had my ticket, my passport and my letter of request signed by my Bishop, all ready to go.

The Cathedral in Madrid doesn't hold 5,000 people, so seating was difficult. The Spaniards and deacons got priority seating inside. The other seiminarians who got to go inside were picked by lottery. We were outside, and we chose to sit in the back row of our seating area, so we were closest to the road the Pope would pass by.

I wish I knew beforehand that I would be outside. We were there from 5:30 AM to noon, or thereabouts. Our group went very early to get good seats, and it was a good plan on our part because our seats were probably as good as you could get. The Pope was only about 5-6 feet away, and he could clearly see us. I think part of the reason he could get so close to everyone was because we were all seminarians with the proper credentials. Normally, for security reasons, he can't get that close to the general public.

Here's a video taken by the person standing next to me, to give you an idea of how close we were:

The mass was good. I think the highlight was at the start, when a seminarian gave a welcoming speech to the Pope. He did a great job. The Cardinal's welcoming speech was good, too, but that's exactly what you'd expect from a Cardinal. It was more surprising to see an unknown seminarian making a great speech, and it truly felt like he was speaking for all of us. I didn't know all of what he said--he was speaking in Spanish--but I felt duly united with him and his sentiments.

That was also a great aspect to the mass: feeling the strong unity between all the seminarians from around the world. As St. Ignatius of Antioch teaches us, the Pope is a sign of the church's unity, and such strong unity amongst worldwide diversity is awe-inspiring.

The mass ended with Pope Benedict XVI declaring his intention to make St. John of Avila an official doctor of the church, which all the Spanish people loved. I was more interested in hearing that St. Ignatius of Loyola's cross is in the cathedral, next to St. John's relics. Methinks a second trip to the cathedral is in order, so I can see them.

A low-quality picture of a Spanish statue of St. Ignatius. You can recognize him because he's holding up the Jesuit IHS symbol.

The mass was basically my entire day. I got heat stroke from being out in the sun for 5-6 hours without my usual sunscreen and sun protection. That, and I only got 1-2 hours of sleep the previous night. So I went back home after the mass and went straight to sleep for about eight hours, then I stumbled outside for dinner and went right back home again after that. I made a phone call, and once I've finished writing, I'm going straight to be again.

At the same time as the Pope's mass, the United States put on a mass in an arena, with Cardinal Francis George and Archbishop Timothy Dolan presiding. I'm slightly jealous that I couldn't attend it, because they are both great speakers and inspiration American Catholics. However, I wouldn't have missed the mass with the Pope for anything. It was definitely the highlight of the entire trip so far.

Trip to Spain (Part 8) - Friday

2011-12-16T09:04:00.000-08:00

As I'm writing this, a marching band is playing in the plaza. They're here for a long procession, which is truly spectacular to see with all the candles lit, but it still kind of irks me that they're playing now, because I have to be up really early tomorrow for mass with the Pope (!). If it was any other night, I'd stay to watch the procession, though.

Today was the Stations of the Cross, which we went to see early in the morning. It was already full of people, wanting to see the huge, life-sized statues of all fourteen stations, with a fifteenth statue of Our Lady of Sorrows. The candles were all there, but unlit at the time, because it was broad daylight. I think the best statue was Jesus being nailed to the cross, and the Last Supper gets an honorable mention for making one of the Apostles blonde. I've never seen a blonde man with a full-grown beard before.

We went to mass at 12:30, and it was a really quick mass, because the priest (and all the locals) wanted to be back at home to siesta at 1:00. There was no homily, and some of the people's responses were said so quickly by the lady behind me that I couldn't keep up. We stayed with a group from a local church, Saint Simon. Er, that's local for us, not for Madrid. So, we were with them until about 4:00, and I rested until 6:00, when we left for the official Stations of the Cross, held by the Pope. After that was dinner with our Bishops, and if it seems like this entry is short, it's because I'm rushing so I can get to sleep for tomorrow's 5:00 AM wakeup call. It is now 1:30 AM, by the way. I can still hear the band marching on, but alas, time is doing the same thing. Good night.

Trip to Spain (Part 7) - Thursday

2011-12-15T09:19:00.000-08:00

Today, we met for lunch. We went to Foster's Hollywood, a Spain-only restaurant. That was a more authentic American restaurant than the one from yesterday—the hamburger had buns. Foster's had a great pilgrim meal, and everyone ordered a desert.

So, with all eleven us ordering desert, that ended up being an extra $50 that went straight to the restaurant. I mention this, because at the riot/protest rally last night, a lot of the local business owners came together and counter-protested the rally. The way they see it, big riots = no business. Letting 500,000 tourists wander around the city for a week = great for business. It was nice to know that some of the locals really wanted us to stay, even if others didn't.

After lunch, I bought about six souvenirs from an official World Youth Day shop. The tourist shops are the only ones that stay open during siesta time. I'm slightly disappointed that our schedule is too busy to accommodate siestas; it would be interesting to try a set afternoon nap for a week or so. However, I'm not here to sleep, so I can't siesta like the real Spaniards.

We had the mass for our local diocese today, with the bishops and priests from our diocese. It was nice, but I didn't know half the songs. After that, I went with the group from St. Francis parish to a plaza for the Pope's arrival. He was too far for us to see in person, though. We watched on a big screen, and over thirty different groups of people wanted to take pictures with me and the American flag.

The Pope speaks English with a heavy German accent, as you would expect, so he's not the easier person to understand. He spoke in about seven languages, but he spoke mostly in Spanish because we're in Spain. He gave a short speech, after a Gospel reading, after his big introduction.

People from all the continents gave him a gift. Asia made him rice, and Europe, I think, provided him with a large bread platter. The North Americans gave him a Mexican-style cowboy hat. We probably should have checked in with the other continents before making that decision.

Next time, I swear I'll bring my notebook to write down the Pope's speech, although I can probably find it online.

Trip to Spain (Part 6) - Wednesday

2011-12-14T09:42:00.000-08:00

Today, the US Bishops put on a great event. We had two hours of Catechism and a mass in English. Bishop Smith of Edmonton led this, and I wish I had brought this notebook along with me, so I could have take notes. It was great to be in an all-English environment again, after a week of Spanish. Spanish isn't that bad, though. Madrid Spanish is a lot easier to speak than I expected. Everyone warned me that I wouldn't be able to communicate with my Mexican Spanish, but that's not the case.

After lunch, we had an eight hour vocations fair, at a local Jesuit building. We probably could have filled a place twice as large. I think everyone agreed that Fr. Robert Barron's speech was the highlight of the event. I liked the speech from the singer woman best, because she was very emotional about God's love for her. I also liked seeing our friends from the Diocese of Orange and talking sports with people from all over the United States.

Of course, my personal highlight was meeting with my dad's cousin, Bishop Tom Paprocki, and talking with him for about fifteen minutes.

During the day, we took a break to find some Starbucks. (The other guys really like coffee.) Along the way, we saw a nun, promoting an exhibition on Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta. We went to the exhibit after our work at the US event was over. The visit was unplanned, and it was completely worth it. The Missionaries of Charity nuns were all over the exhibit, acting as guides. They had a duplication of Mother Teresa's room, and I'd say about 100 wall-sized informational plaques, in English and Spanish, which covered her entire life. One room was a video room, one area had her English speeches playing on a speaker, and the entrance room was splendid, but two rooms stood out the most to me.

1. The room with her relics. They had her sandals and sari, the most easily recognizable of all her few possessions. They also had duplicates her handwritten letters, her Nobel Peace Prize and her degree from Harvard. On the wall above, they had pictures from all of her meetings with Pope John Paul II, which was about four meetings over thirty years.

Meetings with Pope John Paul II

Relics

Duplicate of Mother Teresa's room

One of the large plaques about her life

2. The prayer chapel, with a simple crucifix and a statue of Mary. They had a life-size, fully-colored statue of Mother Teresa, praying there; at first, most people thought it was a real nun who was there praying. There was a bench for people to sit and pray, and there were prayer messages. Let me explain. A box was filled with small scraps of paper, each one with a different quotation from Blessed Teresa written upon it. People were invited to take and keep one; they had boxes for English, Spanish, Italian, French, Polish and so on.

Our group was going to return to the hotel after that, but the hostel we're at is outside Plaza de Sol, the Protest Plaza. A protest rally was scheduled against Spain's government for being corrupt and not helping the 20% unemployment rate (for reference, the US' unemployment rate is at 9%). This protest rally turned into an anti-Pope rally, because Spain spent money to help sponsor World Youth Day. You'd think they would be glad that 100,000 foreigners have poured into their capital city, because all the tourist spending must be making the local economy boom this week. In any case, the rally turned into a riot, like many other of the so-called peaceful protests held in Plaza de Sol. The angry rioters started to attack passing Catholics and anyone they saw wearing a World Youth Day backpack.

So instead of returning home, we had a dinner. Then, we met with our bishop in the US Bishops' Hotel, near the US Embassy. I saw Bishop Tom again, and I introduced him to all our seminarians. He introduced us to Cardinal Francis George. Our bishop treated us to a second dinner, which was good, because the first dinner was scarce. (It was a small salad and a glass of water for eight dollars.)

At the second dinner, I had the "American Dinner", which was interesting. This dinner is specifically targeted towards Americans who are visiting the US Embassy. It was a burger, large fries, burnt corn on the cob, and a huge thing of onion rings. It wasn't that bad of a dinner, but I'd lose the onion rings and the corn on the cob. Also, it'd be more "American" if the hamburger came on a bun.

The riot died down by the time dinner was over, partially because there was a big soccer game that was showing on TV. Barcelona is in the playoffs, or something like that. So, thankfully, no one from our group was hurt in the plaza riot, and nobody was badly injured.

Trip to Spain (Part 5) - Tuesday

2011-12-13T09:50:00.000-08:00

Today, World Youth Day official started at 8:00 PM. Thousands of people poured into the city of Madrid today. Mostly, we spent the day meeting with other groups of pilgrims. Our group just parked ourselves outside Starbucks and watched groups go by.

We have a US flag and a California flag, so people were able to tell where we are from. Most of the foreigners seemed to know how to do the USA chant, and they would chant it at us while passing by. We saw groups from Spain, France, Germany, the UK, the US, Italy, Russian, Mexico, Korea, the Philippines, Prague, Sri Lanka, United Arab Emirates, Nigeria, China, South Africa and more countries that we couldn't recognize just from their flags alone.

A woman from NPR saw me with the US flag, so she came up to me and asked if I'd like to do an interview, because I speak English. It was a nice interview, which was about five minutes long. I was pretty excited about being on All Things Considered, but unfortunately, my interview ended up being cut from the final news report. There were about five names on the interview list; I guess they didn't have enough time in the segment to use clips from all the interviewees.

The group went to Burger King for lunch and VIPS for dinner. VIPS is the Spanish TGI Fridays. I know it sounds weird coming from me, Mr. Picky Eater, but I don't think we should eat so much American food in Spain. Let's try some Spanish food! I'm trying to order something new I don't know about at every meal.

The opening mass had, I would guess, over 10,000 people attending. We got as close as possible to the main area, which was close enough to kinda see all the Bishops. Next time, I say we forget about getting close, and we just park ourselves in front of one of the big TV screens, so we can watch it and see what's happening. One of the screens was right behind/beside us tonight, we couldn't see it.

Mass was two hours long, and it was in Spanish and Latin. That totally threw me off, especially because I tend to mix up those two languages already, when praying the Our Father or Hail Mary. I start off the prayer in one language, and I finish praying it in the other. So eventually, our group decided to say the mass responses in English. Most of the pilgrims who don't know Spanish said the responses in their native languages, too.

All in all, today was a good day, because it was another "off" day, where we got to relax somewhat. The pacing was much different than the hurried trips to Barcelona and the local churches and such. I got to do more shopping, because I realized just now that I should buy things here for my priest friends, not just my family and parishioner friends.

Trip to Spain (Part 4) - Monday

2011-12-12T09:50:00.000-08:00

Today, we went to Avila, but most of the places were closed, due to a national holiday. The churches there seemed completely unprepared for any visitors, which is kind of odd. I mean, World Youth Day starts in Madrid tomorrow, so thousands of people decided to stop by Avila today.

The cathedral was as closed off as possible. The side entrance was locked with a huge gate, and the cathedral only had a small corner to look at, with everything else roped off. The one picture we could see was kind of nice, though, and lots of groups took pictures outside the gates.

The next closest church was St. John the Baptist. St. Theresa of Avila was baptized there; they have a special display about it at their baptismal font. The priest there was trying to kick everyone out, because he wanted to go home and have a siesta. But whenever the priest opened the door to let someone out, tons of new people would try to get in. I wanted to stay there for a bit, but there was only enough time to pray the Three Hail Marys and to see the baptismal font.

The next closest church is sort of connected to the monastery that St. Theresa went to. The monastery and all the surround buildings—like the museum—were closed. We got to see the church, because they were just finishing with mass, and they opened the doors to let the people out. But as soon as the doors were opened, all the pilgrims poured inside. The communion song was "I am the Bread of Life", being sung in English. I thought it was moving to have a hundred people enter the church at once and respectfully join in the communion song.

Hundreds of pilgrims were at Avila today, like I said earlier. A lot of the groups seemed content just to find out where everyone else is from. So, there was a lot of shouting and cheering about geographical locations. "Conneticut!" "Kenya!" "Viva La France!"

Actually, the French group didn't cheer at all, but we cheered for them when we saw their flag. Here is the extent of the conversation I had with them.

Me: Bonjour!
French Person: Euh.

I think some of the guys want to go back to Avila on our day off, because almost everything was closed, and we didn't get enough time to explore the two churches we kind of snuck into. Also, we didn't get to spend much time in Avila, because the train schedule forced us to leave early. Most of the trains were full, because everyone is headed into Madrid. We went back there and had mass and dinner. And that was basically it for today.

Trip to Spain (Part 3) - Sunday

2011-12-11T09:48:00.000-08:00

Today was a good day. We went to the Cathedral in Seville, which is the second-largest in the world. We kind of got the rest of the day off because everyone was tired, so we got to do a little shopping. Most of the stores in Seville were closed for Sunday and/or siesta, but the tourist places were all open.

The guys are not my ideal shopping partners. Mendie went looting through every single fan in every single fan box, trying to find the best one. He uprooted the 2-euro box, the 2.5 Euro box and the 3-Euro box. Then he ran down the block to another tourist store, so he could do price comparison. That's way too much work for a cheap plastic souvenir fan.

I got two items (religious art), which are about $10 US each. The same items would cost $40-50 back at home, so I saved thirty bucks by buying them here. That's how I do effective shopping.

The cathedral was great, but I still prefer the United States' Cathedral Basilica of the Immaculate Conception in Washington DC. I like the side chapel of Seville's cathedral more than the main chapel. A crazy old Italian man tried to give me a tour of the place, even though we couldn't understand each other. He would point at something and say its Italian name, like "altare" and "Jesu".

Everyone warns you to look out for the gypsies in Europe, because they're experts at robbing tourists. Well, a gypsy tried to rob me outside of the cathedral, but she did a really bad job. She tried to lure me in by calling me "guapo" (Spanish for "handsome") and giving me a leaf as a present. It wasn't a special leaf; it was just a random leaf she pulled off of a nearby tree. I just walked past her, and that was that. Later, I watched her from a distance, and nobody else stopped to pick up her leaves. What a weird scam, trying to lure people in with leaves in order to rob them.

I took the night off, by staying inside and washing my clothes in the sink. It turns out I made a mistake in packing my luggage. I guess I grabbed the wrong pile of clothes or something like that. Anyway, the result was that I only had one pair of shorts and one pair of black socks. My formal clothes all got packed, though.

We got our official World Youth Day backpacks today. There were a lot of things in the backpack already. Some of them were things I don't need, like the map of town and a small Liturgy of the Hours for the next two weeks. Other things, I decided to keep to give to people at home, such as the Pope Benedict manga, the Youcat and the cheap plastic fan. I feel kind of bad for Mendie now. He put a lot of effort into finding a fan, and nine hours later, we all got free plastic fans.

Trip to Spain (Part 2) - Saturday

2011-12-10T09:44:00.000-08:00

After visiting two churches yesterday, we had to be up super early to catch the train to Barcelona. I got about two hours of sleep. The train showed "The King's Speech" with Spanish subtitles, but no audio. It was an okay movie, but I would have preferred to sleep.

The bathrooms here in Europe are kind of confusing. The one on the train had a high-tech door with automatic controls, and I could not figure out how to lock the door behind me. I also didn't know how to work the shower head in our hotel room, and as a result, the entire bathroom got covered with water.

Barcelona is different than other cities in Spain, because they speak a language which is a hybrid of French and Spanish. The Cathedral there is hug and old, but most of it was sealed off with thick iron bars. It makes me sad. I'd rather see the displays shiny, up-to-date and being used, rather than blocked off and faded and decayed.

We ran into two groups of pilgrims from California. So many out-of-country people are visiting Spain. I hope the local Spanish Catholics remember to come, too.

Somehow, my train ticket home got lost in the big pile o' tickets for our group. I had to go get another one with Fr. John, while everyone else in the group went to visit Place #2 in Barcelona. That was fine with me, because I was pretty much out of it for the afternoon, as a result of it being too hot and me not getting enough sleep.

On the train back, they showed a Spanish romantic comedy. There were no headphones, but it was pretty easy to follow. Or at least, I found it easy to follow; the other guys must not watch many romantic comedies, because they couldn't follow the plot. The story was that the hero is sad, because the girl he likes is falling in love with Mr. Perfect. So the hero decides to win her back and make her jealous, with the help of his two wacky buddies.

When we got back to the hotel, I tried to sleep. After that, it was prayer time, and we went all over town until we learned that both churches were closed. All the shops were closed, too, which made me kind of upset. After all, this is prime shopping time. Our travel itinerary says that we won't get to shop until the last two days of the trip, but I want to go shopping before the large crowds get here. If we wait until after they leave, all the good stuff will be gone.

Trip to Spain (Part 1)

2011-12-09T09:33:00.000-08:00

For the next two weeks or so, I'm going to write about my trip to Spain for World Youth Day. I kept a journal during the trip, so everything is well organized. To start off, I'm going to reproduce my notes from the first day, Friday. I didn't write much that day, because I was exhausted.

---

We stopped by the Cathedral here in Madrid. It was nice because they let us in after hours. I wish I had a camera. Everyone else brought cameras, even though the guidebook said not to. The churches here have beautiful artwork, but I fear people visit them to see the art, not to have a personal encounter with God. The art is very old, and I wonder why so much artwork is up on the ceiling, where no one can see it.

My favorite piece of art so far was an Immaculate Conception located at St. Inez. It looked more like an Assumption, but the piece of artwork obviously predates the papal declaration on the Assumption. My favorite part was the look of joy on Mary's face. In most of the pictures here, she has a more stoic look.

There are street performers here in Madrid, who dress up in costumes. A few random strangers thought I was a street performer, and they took pictures of me. That's because I was wearing a cassock. It's about two to three degrees cooler to wear a cassock instead of a suit, which is why I decided to wear it the whole time. Only a few people recognized it as an old-fashioned priest outfit, but I don't blame them, because I had no idea what a cassock was either, three years ago.

That's me in the cassock, third from the right. The trip to Spain was pretty much the only time I've ever worn it in public.

WWA, Chapter Four

2011-12-08T09:47:00.000-08:00

Here's the fourth chapter in my series about Nancy Drew: Warnings at Waverly Academy.

---

Nancy smiled. She had only been in Waverly for five minutes, and the case was practically solved. The mysterious "Black Cat" only targeted valedictorian candidates. The valedictorian that year would get a huge scholarship. Clearly, someone wanted the huge scholarship, and she was using underhanded tactics to get rid of the competition.

Nancy took a moment to confirm this theory. "You mean the only girls to get notes from this Black Cat person are girls who're in the running to be valedictorian?"

"I hadn't really thought of it that way, but yeah," Corine said. "I guess that's right. Maybe somebody's jealous of us smart kids or something. Or maybe it's one of us. Maybe somebody's trying to scare off her competition."

Hey, I thought of that first! Nancy thought.

"Whatever. It's not gonna work on me," Corine said confidently.

Oh, really? Nancy thought. "Have you ever gotten one of these Black Cat notes?" she asked.

"Yeah, I got one about three days ago," Corine said calmly.

Evidence! Nancy thought. "No kidding. May I see it?"

"Sorry," Corine said. "I took one look at it and tore it up. But if you'd like to see the note my ex-roommate got, that one's right here."

Corine pulled out a note the note. There was a black pawprint on the paper, with blood-colored scratches. The Black Cat is watching. was written on top. All in all, it was kind of creepy.

"When she got this, how did she react?" Nancy asked.

"She tried to laugh it off, but I think she was really scared," Corine said. "She was pretty neurotic."

Um...your roommate gets sent home after having a panic attack, and you get rid of all of her things except the threatening note she received? Who's the neurotic one again?

"What about the second note?" Nancy asked.

"There wasn't a second note," Corine said. "Or at least, if there was, she never said anything about it to me."

"Did she talk to you a lot?" Nancy asked.

"No, not really," Corine said. She tried to fake a laugh. "I mean, you've probably said more to me now in the past five minutes that Danielle said to me in the past month!"

Note to self, Nancy thought. Corine might be a candidate for valedictorian, but she is not a candidate for Roommate of the Year.

Professor Layton and the Last Specter (Part 5)

2011-12-07T09:13:00.000-08:00

Time to finish my overview of the lastest Professor Layton game. I'm not sure if I've been explaining the plot of the game very well so far, but that's probably because it's not as plot-heavy as the previous game.

Anyway, we've reached the end of the game, so it's time for Professor Layton to have a dramatic confrontation with the game's culprit. This culprit is responsible for the evil specter that has appeared all over town and destroyed buildings. And the culprit is...

...Someone we've never heard of before. His name is Jean Descole. I don't want to be mean to the poor man, but he looks like a reject from a Shakespeare play.

It is revealed that Jean has been holding Luke's mother hostage for months. Also, the specter was really him, using a machine to dig for gold. Before Layton can question this plotline too much, Jean's digging machines turn into a Super Robot that attacks the town.

Layton is prepared for this, though. His foolproof plan to destroy the robot? Destroy its circuitry by getting it wet! Layton pulls out a garden hose and sprays the robot with water.

No, I'm just joking. That would be sensible. Instead, Layton decides to get the robot wet by destroying the town dam and flooding the entire city. Suddenly, it looks like Professor Layton is more dangerous to the town's safety than the villain is. The villain realizes this, and leaves.

After Layton's reckless destruction of the entire town, our heroes go north. Now, try to follow me here, folks. I know that Layton just destroyed the town dam and flooded the town. Well, it turns out that the two has a second dam that's connected to the lake. Loosha the Giant Seal smashes his head against the dam fifteen times, until it breaks. This means the town gets flooded a second time. Why do our heroes keep flooding the town?

The second flood reveals the hidden entrance to the Golden Garden, which contains no gold whatsoever. Loosha the Giant Seal dies, because he fractured his skull while breaking the second dam. It's rather sad to see our animal friend die, but the good news is that the magical air in the Golden Garden manages to cure Arianna's life-threatening disease. So, Luke's girlfriend doesn't die after all! Hooray! To show her thanks, Arianna kisses Luke, and he suddenly transforms from Timid Prequel Luke to the Confident Luke we know and love from the other games in the series.

That's about it for the game. Layton becomes a famous archeologist for finding the Golden Garden, Luke becomes Professor Layton's apprentice, the villain swears to return and do evil things in the next game, and Emmy...I'm sure she did something interesting, but they forgot to mention what it was. Oh well. Next time, perhaps.

WWA, Chapter 3

2011-12-06T09:21:00.000-08:00

Here's the third chapter in my series about Nancy Drew: Warnings at Waverly Academy.

---

Nancy hadn't even left her room yet, and already, her cover was blown. Nancy was supposed to be working undercover as a new transfer student named Becca Sawyer. But she didn't have any student supplies, like binders or books or even a laptop.

That was a stupid move, Nancy, Nancy thought to herself. I mean, Becca. Dang, this working under a fake name thing is harder than I thought.

Even if it was kind of difficult, working under a fake name was a great opportunity. Nancy had the rare chance to literally become someone else. She could form a brand new personality and identity. Back home, people called Nancy the weird girl who solves mysteries. But here, Becca Sawyer would be the coolest girl on campus!

"Yeah!" Nancy said. She decided to turn the situation around, with one of Becca Sawyer's trademark sassy comments. "I can't believe my luggage hasn't come here yet! Baggage claim? More like baggage lame! Am I right?"

Corine stared at Nancy with a blank expression, after that bold proclamation. No, wait, her expression wasn't entirely blank. There was something in her eyes...was it a hint of pity? Nancy scratched her head.

"Anyway, what were you saying about this place?" she asked.

"Well, since you don't have a laptop, you can get online by jumping on the computer in the library," Corine said. "Just make sure you read the part in the guide about Waverly's demerit system really well. It's enforced by Paige. Believe me, you do not want to mess with her. Let's see, what else...?"

Nancy wasn't worried about demerits. Sure, Nancy Drew got detention a lot-mostly for not skipping classes in order to follow suspects-but Becca Sawyer never got in trouble. She was awesome that way.

"Oh yeah-this floor's special because only seniors who are viable candidates for valedictorian live up here. Whoever's named valedictorian gets a full ride scholarship to the university of her choice, so it's a pretty big deal. 'Course, the only truly viable candidate is me."

"Wait a minute," Nancy said. "You mean the only girls to get notes from this Black Cat person are girls who're in the running to be valedictorian?"

Can you say 'motive'? Nancy thought smugly.

The Poorly-Informed Movie Reviewer

2011-12-05T09:15:00.000-08:00

Four times in this blog, I've written about the poorly-informed movie reviewer. He's a movie reviewer who writes for a local newspaper, and whenever they make him write about videogames, it's hilarious because he has no idea what he's talking about.

Or at least, it was hilarious. Mr. Movie Reviewer stopped writing about videogames a while ago. Whenever he does talk about games, all he does is copy/paste press releases that were written by a PR department. It's no longer fun to read his column anymore.

Let's say goodbye to him, though, by remembering some of the good times with our poorly-informed friend.

The Son of Neptune

2011-12-04T09:23:00.000-08:00

I finished reading The Son of Neptune, which is the latest Percy Jackson book. It's a good book. Percy Jackson fans should check it out.

The story of the book is that Percy makes it to the Roman Camp for demigods. He and two other characters are given a quest to go north to Alaska, where a giant is keeping Death captive. Our heroes go there, kill the giant, and return to New Rome in time to stop an army being led by a different giant.

Percy was my favorite part of the book, hands down. As for the two new main characters, I liked Hazel. Her backstory was kind of similar to Piper's in the previous book, in that both girls knew information about the giant ahead of time, but they wanted to keep it a secret. I think it worked better with Hazel than with Piper. The other new character was Frank. I wasn't sure about him, because he's sort of a mixed bag. That's on purpose, though; part of Frank's story is how he works through his confusion about himself and his family. My other Percy Jackson friend loved Frank, though.

I don't think I'd go so far as to say that it is immensely better than the previous book, which didn't have Percy in it, but I wouldn't be surprised if this one outsold the last book.

Weirdness at Waverly Academy, Chapter 2

2011-12-03T09:20:00.000-08:00

Nancy put her bag down near the bed as she walked into the small room that would be her home for the next few days. Sitting at a desk in the corner of the room was a short black girl, who turned around as Nancy entered.

"Hey, you're the new person," the girl said. "Uh, Becca something. Becca Sawyer."

Nancy nodded. She was working under a false name for this case, partly because it was cool and partly because if she used her real name, she'd end up getting Facebook requests from everyone she met here. Trust me, the last thing Nancy Drew needs is more Facebook requests.

"I'm Corine," the girl continued. "The person who's stuck rooming with you. I mean, you're the person who's stuck rooming with me! Anyway, welcome to my-your-our humble dwelling space."

Awkward much? Nancy thought.

"You don't mind having a roommate?" Nancy asked.

Corine shook her head. "Not at all. The roommate I used to have-Danielle-she and I got along great."

Ah, Danielle. According to the case notes, Danielle was the latest victim in the series of accidents. Nancy decided to casually ask Corine for some more details.

"What happened to her?" Nancy asked.

"She had kind of a bad experience. Got locked in a pitch black closet overnight. See, she was claustrophobic, so when they found her the next morning, she could barely talk, and when I got back from class that afternoon, she'd just...left. No note, no call, no text-nothing. I should probably tell you...

"Some of the kids on this floor have been getting these like threatening notes from somebody calling herself the Black Cat. The first note's a warning, but if you get a second one? Something really bad happens to you.

"And last week, the girl in the room next door, Megan Vargas? She got a second note, and that night at dinner, she ate something she was allergic to, and had such a bad reaction that she had to go home. Somebody's obviously playing a prank, but a lot of kids here are starting to get really freaked out. Anyway. Now that you're here..."

Corine paused for a second, and Nancy wondering if this meant she was going to stop talking. Apparently, this was not the case, as Corine continued.

"First thing you gotta do is read the Waverly student guide, which is online. If you don't have a laptop-it doesn't look like you do. That one little bag is all you brought?"

Crap, crap, crap! Nancy thought. She couldn't have her cover blown this early in the case. Think, Nancy, think!

"Uh...all my stuff's being shipped. From France. Lyons. It'll be here in a couple of days."

Nancy grinned as widely as she could. Maybe acting friendly would convince her new, awkward roommate to believe her.

Great going, Nancy.

Professor Layton and the Last Specter (Part 4)

2011-12-02T09:01:00.000-08:00

Last time, on Professor Layton and the Last Specter, our heroes were about to solve the mystery, when they got arrested by the corrupt chief of police, Levin "Third Eye" Jakes. If you haven't been playing the game so far, our heroes are:

1. Professor Layton, the British Gentleman who wears a top hat
2. Prequel Luke, the young boy who is wearing old man suspenders
3. Emmy, the spunky sidekick who knows martial arts
4. Toppy, the Magical Talking Mouse

Chief Jakes puts our heroes in the interrogation room, then he leaves to tell his boss that Layton is under arrest. The instant that Jakes leaves, Layton and crew break out of the jail. Their escape is mainly due to the help of Toppy, who is small enough to fit under the door.

Why is a mouse suddenly a main character in this game? No, seriously. I want to know.

Things get even stranger, as our heroes go back to Luke's girlfriend, Arianna. Arianna starts to play the mystical Specter's Flute. Now, I'm not a musical expert or anything, but I'm pretty sure the instrument she's playing is not a flute. It looks more like the ocarina from Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.

When Arianna plays the song, the specter appears. It turns out the specter is not a monstrous ghost. Instead, it is a giant happy seal named Loosha. Arianna explains that Loosha is the last survivor of a race of aquatic dinosaurs. That is clearly a far more logical explanation than the idea that a ghost is haunting the town.

Loosha wins the hearts of everyone with her extreme cuteness, and it looks like we're going to have a happy ending. Then, the corrupt Chief Jakes shows up. He arrests Arianna and Loosha. That's right. He puts the dinosaur under arrest, using the 50-foot net cannons that he just happened to bring along with him.

So now our heroes have to save Loosha and Arianna. Oh, and they need to confront the villain of the game, who we still haven't met yet. This could be exciting, everyone!

Weirdness at Waverly Academy - Chapter 1

2011-12-01T09:48:00.000-08:00

As promised, I'm going to try writing a Nancy Drew story. This one will be about Nancy Drew: Warnings at Waverly Academy. As a general rule, I'll try to write each chapter in under five minutes. Oh, and I'll post the story on Fanfiction.net, as a convenient way for people to read it all at once.

---

Nancy Drew read the letter that had been forwarded to her by Mattie Jensen. A school called the Waverly Academy for Girls was being plagued by a series of mysterious accidents. Mattie knew Nancy was good at discovering the truth behind deadly accidents, so she thought Nancy could help the people at Waverly Academy.

Nancy tilted her head as she thought about it. Solve a mystery at a high school? She hadn't been to school in a long time. As in, a really long time. Nancy went on mystery-solving expeditions and vacations so often that she really didn't have time for school. In fact, she was failing half of her classes, mainly because it had been two months since she last stepped foot inside a classroom.

Nancy reread the letter, and her mystery senses started tingling. A student poisoned for no reason? Another student locked inside a closet? An angry floor monitor named Paige? This could be her most interesting case yet!

"Hey, Dad?" Nancy said.

Carson Drew looked up from his legal paperwork and adjusted his glasses. "Yes, Honey?"

"I'm going to need you to write out a form to get me out of school this week," Nancy said.

"Again?" Carson asked.

"There's a mystery for me to solve in New York," Nancy explained.

"Again?" Carson asked.

"Again," Nancy said.

Blog Plans

2011-11-30T09:06:00.000-08:00

Okay, the general consensus seems to be that I should try to alternate the various topics I have here on this blog. I support this idea. I remember that there was one week where I talked about videogames every single day, and it got boring.

The problem with me setting up blog plans is that I don't always follow them. For example, I have a general policy of writing about news on Friday/Saturday. And you'll notice I've only done that about three times since September. Whoops.

Also, I seem to forget my Three Things segment for months at a time. Silly me. Maybe I should try to always have news on Friday and threes on Thursday.

Anyway, I like the idea of posting a new chapter of my Nancy Drew story every 2-3 days. It sounds good to me, so that's what I'll do.

As for the trip to Spain, I think I'll write about it from December 9th to the 21st. Yes, I have that much material written up about the trip to Spain. Each day's entry is going to be one day of the trip, and many of them will have pictures. It'll be great, and you'll love it. Either that, or you'll stop reading the blog for two weeks. No big deal.

Blog Projects

2011-11-29T09:38:00.000-08:00

I've been reading a fanfiction based on Nancy Drew: Legend of the Crystal Skull. Basically, each chapter of the story is about five minutes of gameplay.

I want to write a story like that. I was thinking I'll write it here on my blog. It seems easy enough, and I like the fact that each chapter takes a short time to write. But even if I write a new chapter every day, it'd probably take two months to finish. Two straight months of Nancy Drew writing is too much, even for me.

Plus, if I'm going to do a series of entries around the same topic, it really should be about my trip to Spain, because my notebook from the trip is sitting on my bookshelf, lonely. That's two weeks of information which is already written; I just need to type it up. Another project I'm working on is a week of entries about the meaning of life and the nature of happiness, which is shaping up to be exciting and philosophical.

What do you guys think? Do I go ahead with Nancy Drew? Do I go ahead with the stories of my trip to Spain? Should I try to do both at the same time, or should I keep up with my normal routine of blog writing?

Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword (Part 2)

2011-11-28T09:25:00.000-08:00

To continue my recap of the first hour or so of Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword...

Finally, I get through the tutorials, then I go meet Zelda, near the goddess statue. Zelda is wearing a fancy costume, because she's playing the goddess in the play today. She wanted Link to be the first one to see it, and she giggles a few times.
Sadly, the dialogue is kind of hard to read, because the game is supposed to be played on a widescreen TV, and I don't have one of those. It is impossible to read any of the colored text.
Zelda's father appears. He is kind of hideous. He's got a large unibrow, which he combs upwards to cover his bald spot. He and Zelda talk about Link for about five minutes, as if Link isn't standing right next to them.
It seems that everyone in town has a guardian bird called a Loftwing. Today, they're having a flying competition, with the birds. The winner of the race gets to do something special with Zelda, for the ceremony. Naturally, she wants Link to win. Link is the only one in town with a crimson-colored bird, which is why he's special.
Zelda is very concerned that Link will lose the race, and so she drags him off to practice. She takes him to the edge of the island, then pushes him off.
Link screams as he plummets to the ground. His bird doesn't come to pick him up.
Eventually, Zelda realizes something is wrong, so she jumps off the side of the island. Her bird appears, and the two of them save Link's life. Way to go, Zelda! Of course, it's your fault his life was in danger in the first place, but still, I thought it was cool.
So something weird is going on with Link's bird. Can he find his bird before the race starts?
Twenty minutes later, I managed to find a character named Groose. He is the bully of the Knight Academy, and he tells his friends that he kidnapped Link's bird. He starts bad-mouthing Link, when Zelda shows up to the rescue.
And Groose has a crush on Zelda. Uh oh! Link's going to have to find his bird, then win the race! We don't want that jerk to get some alone time with Zelda, do we?
My Wii-mtote ran out of battery during the scene with Groose, which is a real shame, because I wanted to win the race and triumphantly say, "Ha! Looks like your Groose is cooked!"

And that's it! I might write a full review someday, but so far, it seems rather interesting. I played for an hour after that, and the game really emphasized the fact that Link and Zelda would be a great couple together. That's interesting, because in every other Zelda game, Link and Zelda aren't boyfriend and girlfriend.

The New Mass

2011-11-27T09:29:00.000-08:00

Hey, everyone! Guess what? Today, the Roman Catholic Church is staring the brand-new English language mass here in America!

So, some people are going to be very surprised when they go to church this week and find out that a lot of the language has changed. We're keeping the exact same structure of the mass, of course, but the words that we'll be using are slightly different.

All in all, it's going to be pretty awesome. The prayers are going to be closer to the original Latin text, which is more poetic than the version we've been using for the past thirty years. The language is going to be fancier, as well, which is a good thing.

So let's hope everything goes well with the transition to the new mass. This is happening in every Catholic Church here in America, so no matter which state you're in, you'll be getting the new mass. We had our first new mass here last night, and it went pretty well, although some people accidentally said the old responses.

Zelda: Skyward Sword - First Impressions (Part 1)

2011-11-26T09:01:00.000-08:00

I got to play Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword for about an hour and a half yesterday. Here are my first impressions of the game.

The game starts with an opening cutscene. The music is fancy, while the graphics are kind of generic. The narrator says that evil villains started a war, in order to get the Triforce, the super powerful magical device that the Goddess made.
The Goddess didn't want humans to get hurt during the war, so she banished them to a floating island. Okay, maybe she didn't banish them, but once the war was over, she forgot to bring the island back down to Earth again. Whoops!
And that's the backstory. Several generations later, all the humans are still living on the floating island, which is called Skyloft. It's a pretty-looking island, filled with large colorful birds. Zelda is singing a song on a harp, and she gives a letter to one of the birds.
Link is having a nightmare about an evil worm creature, which is attacking a forest. The foreshadowing is scaring him tremendously, but then a bright light appears in the sky. A voice comes from the light, saying that it is time for him to fulfill his destiny and save the world.
Then Link wakes up and gets the letter from Zelda. She wants to meet up with him before the big Wing Ceremony today.
At last, you get to control Link. He lives in the Knight Academy, presumably with a bunch of other people who are also knights. There are a few optional tutorials here. One involves moving heavy barrels, which is not more fun than a barrel of monkeys. The other involves finding a lost cat. The cat tutorial was cool, because it involved Prince of Persia-style building climbing. Unfortunately, I messed up when I got to the end, and I accidentally threw the cat off a building.
I had to spend the next five minutes, working with the throwing controls, because I had to throw the cat back up the building. Yeah, the throwing controls take a while to get used to.

On Monday, I'll have Part Two of my first impressions of the game.

Saint Catherine of Alexandria

2011-11-25T09:49:00.000-08:00

Today, the Catholic Church celebrates the memorial of Saint Catherine of Alexandria. One of the churches in our diocese is dedicated to Saint Catherine, and I wrote a four-page biography of her for their parishoners. I thought that today would be a good day to reprint it.

Saint Catherine was born in 282, in Alexandria, Egypt. He mother was Queen Sabinella, while her father was King Costis or Costus, from Rome. Costis' mother was an unknown Armenian woman who died in childbirth, while his father was Constantinius Chlorus, who became the Emperor of Rome in 293. Sadly, Costis did not live to see his father become the emperor; he died while Catherine was young, making her the only heir to the kingdom.

In ancient times, Alexandria was famous for being a great center of education; it once housed the largest library in the entire world. Many wealthy Romans sent their children there to be educated. Because Catherine was a princess, she was educated like any other child of noble birth. She quickly fell in love with school and education, and she studied for hours without end. Her favorite pastime was studying the Greek philosophers, especially Plato.

Catherine became well-known for her education and skills in philosophy, and she was able to surpass many of her male contemporaries. The Egyptian citizens, however, did not approve of her studies. They did not think it was right for a woman to be so enthusiastic about learning. Instead, they thought she should concentrate her efforts on finding a good husband, so Egypt would have a king to inherit the throne.

Catherine was too concerned with her schooling to engage in courtship, and besides, she had no real interest in getting married. She began to put off the question of finding a husband by saying that she refused to marry anyone, unless he was superior to her in every way. "The only husband for me," she said, "must be smarter than I am, nobler than I am, of higher rank than I am, and especially if he is going to become king, he must be compassionate towards everyone, unlike the brutish kings of the past who thought they could never be wrong."

Needless to say, no one could be found who fulfilled Catherine's standards for the perfect husband. The few suitors who met with her were all quickly dismissed. Catherine would say something like "He is not handsome enough for me" or "He is too stupid to be the King of Egypt". Then she would leave them and return to her studies.

In addition to being a center of education in those days, Alexandria was also a center of Catholicism. The Bishop of Alexandria was considered to be the second most important Bishop in the world, after the Pope in Rome. In fact, the word "Pope" first comes from the town of Alexandria. So it was no surprise that one of the Catholic citizens of Alexandria heard about the princess' refusal to marry, and he decided to do something about it.

This man, who was a hermit and an ardent devotee of Mary, boldly proclaimed that he found the perfect husband for the princess, a man who fulfilled all of her requirements. He was allowed to have a meeting with Princess Catherine. She laughed when she first saw the hermit, because it seemed ridiculous that this man could have found the perfect husband for her.

But then the man showed her a picture of Jesus and Mary, and he explained that she should become a Bride of Christ, because Jesus met all of her requirements and more. Jesus is wiser than anyone else, because he is the wisdom of God. Jesus is of higher rank than anyone else on Earth, because he is the King of Kings and the natural-born ruler of humanity. Most importantly, Jesus shares his infinite compassion and justice with everyone, regardless of their rank or status.

Catherine was intrigued by what the hermit said, and she began to look into the matter herself. She was converted almost overnight. She soon lost interest in her studies of philosophy, and she refocused her energies on studying Christianity. She studied the Gospels, and she was amazed to find that they were filled with higher wisdom than any of the other books she had read. She quickly sought out all the religious texts she could find, and she built a small prayer chapel in the palace.

One night, Catherine had a heavenly vision. In this vision, she went to a sanctuary, and angels came to meet her. She fell to the ground in humility and worship, and one of the angels told her, "Rise, dear sister Catherine, for the King of Glory delights to honor you." Catherine rose, and she followed the angels to the presence of Mary, Queen of Heaven.

Catherine was astonished with delight to see the Virgin Mary and all her heavenly servants with her. As the Egyptian Princess, Catherine was used to seeing royal courts decorated in fineries, but the splendors of heaven far surpassed any palace Catherine had ever seen on Earth. As the Psalmist says "How lovely is your dwelling place, Lord God of hosts...one day within your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere." (Psalm 84:2, 11)

The Virgin Mary is the spiritual mother of us all, and she welcomed her daughter, Catherine. Mary leads all good Christians to her divine son, Jesus, and so, Mary took Catherine through the heavenly courtyard to the divine throne. Catherine marveled at everything she saw, but what made the greatest impression upon her was the layout of the palace, which was intimately familiar to her. In preparation for her arrival, it seems, the throne room had been rearranged, so everything was in the same place as Catherine's throne room in Egypt. Despite the similarities, Catherine could not help but think that, compared to the Lord's heavenly dwelling-place, her throne room was only a pale imitation.

The King of Glory, Jesus Christ, was seated upon the very throne which, in the Egyptian palaces, Catherine normally sat upon. The courtroom, full of angels and saints singing praise to God in loud voices, fell silent, as the Virgin Mary presented Catherine to Jesus. Jesus asked Catherine what she desired, but she was too afraid to speak in his presence. The Virgin Mary answered on her behalf, saying that Catherine wanted to become a Bride of Christ. She wished to consecrate her virginity and dedicate her life to the heavenly bridegroom, after the example of the holy saints who had come before her, such as Saint Lucy and Saint Agnes, both of whom were still alive at this time.

Jesus gave Catherine a passing glance, then he turned away from her, saying, "She is not fair and beautiful enough for me."

After Jesus said these words, Catherine awoke from her vision. She began weeping, because she had been rejected by Christ, in the exact same way that she had rejected others. The just judgment against Catherine recalls the words of Jesus during the Sermon on the Mount: "Do not judge others, so you may not be judged yourself. For as you judge, so you will be judged, and the measure with which you judge others will be measured out to you" (Matthew 7:1-2).

Catherine began to feel a great sorrow for the way she had lived her life, because she had let her studies make her arrogant and proud. She had acted as if she was better than everyone else, just because she was a princess; she had deliberately ignored the truth that other people were her equals, her brothers and sisters, because we are all children of God. With great sadness, she reflected on all the times she had not followed Jesus' commandment to serve and to love others.

Catherine vowed to repent from her former way of life, and she confessed all that happened to the hermit who first introduced her to Christianity. She begged him to tell her what she could possibly do to make herself worthy of the heavenly Bridegroom. She longed to be united to Jesus; her soul was thirsting for the true and living God. The hermit, seeing her earnest desire, agreed to catechize her and to baptize her.

The night after her baptism, Catherine had a dream where the Blessed Virgin and her divine Son again appeared to her. Mary presented her to Jesus, saying, "Behold, she has been regenerated in the water of Baptism." Then Christ smiled on her and said, "Ah, now she is fair and beautiful enough for me". Jesus placed a ring on her finger to signify their spiritual marriage, and when she awoke, the ring was still there.

After that, Catherine's life was generally a happy one, even though she often came into contention with certain citizens who either didn't like Christianity or didn't like her decision to never be married. Catherine did her best to be a good ruler, and it is said that she made significant achievements in the field of education, apologetics and philosophy, although none of her written works survive.

Catherine's life changed drastically when she was twenty-four, and her mother died. As the only heir to the throne, Catherine became Queen Catherine. The historians of this time period, all of whom were Romans, say almost nothing about her work in Egypt; they focus exclusively on her interactions with Rome.

As the new Queen of Egypt, Catherine was required to have an audience with the Roman Emperor, Maximinus the Second (sometimes confused with his contemporary, Emperor Maxentius). The formal intention of the meeting between the two rulers was to reaffirm the alliance between Rome and Egypt, as well as to discuss various treaties and other issues that they felt were pertinent. However, Catherine was not interested in discussing matters of wealth and politics with the emperor. Her main concern was reversing Maximinus' decision to renew Christian persecutions in his territories. The two leaders quickly got into an argument, and she used her superior intellect to counter all his claims about the evils of Christianity. Emperor Maximinus was stunned into silence.

Queen Catherine returned home to Alexandria, but Emperor Maximinus was not satisfied at having lost an argument with a woman, especially a foreigner. Maximinus later contacted the various scholars in Alexandria, whose education was being officially financed by the Roman government. He ordered the scholars to continue the debate with Queen Catherine, until she admitted she was wrong.

The scholars, fifty in total, did not want their funding revoked, so they met with the Queen. Over the course of the next few months, Catherine was sustained by the power of God during her debates with the scholars. She was not only able to defeat their flawed arguments, but she was able to convert them to Christianity.

Emperor Maximinus was back at Rome when he heard that his scholars had lost the debate. He ordered his soldiers to kill the scholars, and he requested a second meeting with Queen Catherine. She made the journey to Rome, where she was well-treated, as a foreign dignitary and the granddaughter of a previous emperor. It is unknown whether or not Catherine met her relatives Saint Helena and Constantine the Great during this visit to Rome.

This time, Maximinus tried a different approach with Catherine. Instead of arguing with her, he treated her as an honored guest, and he tried to impress her by showing off the wonders of the city, the splendors of his palaces, and the strength and size of his formidable army. The emperor said that it was not good for the Egyptian queen to be unmarried and childless, and he suggested that he would make an excellent father for her children, as a way of uniting their two countries.

Catherine refused this offer. She boldly said that she would never marry the emperor, because she had dedicated her life to Jesus, because he was a foul man who was persecuting Christians, and besides, Maximinus was already married to somebody else. Catherine wisely decided to leave the room before Maximinus could make any more unwanted advances towards her.

The emperor returned to his quarters, rather upset. He tried to speak to his wife about how Catherine was brutish and ill-mannered, but the empress refused to listen. His wife said that Catherine was a lovely woman, and that the two of them had become good friends during Catherine's stay. In fact, the Empress was so impressed with Catherine that she was interested in becoming a Christian herself.

Emperor Maximinus became furious at this, and he claimed that Catherine was an evil bewitcher whose goal was to destroy the Roman Empire. "This Egyptian Queen is a second Cleopatra," he said, and he immediately sentenced her to death for being a Christian.

Saint Catherine was thrown in a dungeon for twelve days. After this, she was taken to the torture room and tied to a spiked wheel to be killed. This is a specific type of torture that was used to execute criminals; it slowly tears a person's body apart, through the movement of the wheel. However, once Saint Catherine was tied to the wheel, it broke into pieces. Because of this, the breaking wheel is sometimes called "Catherine's Wheel", and it often appears in pictures of Saint Catherine.

Because the wheel was broken, the soldiers could not kill Saint Catherine as planned. Instead, they put her in prison. The question of what to do with Catherine went back to Emperor Maximinus. He was advised to release Catherine, in order to avoid a potential war with Egypt. Maximinus disagreed, because he cared more about his personal pride than the welfare of his citizens. He ordered the Roman soldiers to scourge Catherine, then to behead her. This grim death sentence was carried out on November 25, 307.

Legend has it that Catherine's body was taken to Mount Sinai by angels, and she was buried there. Saint Catherine's monastery was built in that location, about 250 years later, and the monastery is still there today.

Saint Catherine is the patron saint of philosophers, students, maidens and preachers.

Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T09:23:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Enjoy the holiday!

Grocery Shopping

2011-11-23T09:03:00.000-08:00

Apparently, single people have a problem where they get overly-excited about boring things. For example, on Sunday, I got psyched up because I had a book to pick up from the library. On one of my days off, the highlight of the day was going to the bank and depositing a check.

I mention this, because I went grocery shopping yesterday, and I think I was more excited for that than I am for the new Zelda game coming out this week. I couldn't wait to get back home and blog about the fascinating things I purchased.

I bought some juice. Normally, I like to drink soda. But now that I'm the one who's buying food, I only get juice. It's healthier and cheaper, and nobody else but me will drink it.

I also bought some oatmeal, and now that I'm checking the receipt here, I can assure you that the oatmeal is way overpriced. Five dollars for oatmeal? I knew I should have gone with cereal for my breakfast food for the next two weeks. Although cereal doesn't last as long as oatmeal, and you have to buy milk along with the cereal or else it's worthless...

These are the fascinating things I thought of while shopping for groceries.

I also got cheese and hot dogs, because I haven't had any hot dogs in several months. I didn't buy hot dog buns, though. I guess I'll just use bread slices instead of buns. Or--be prepared for a bachelor suggestion--what if I wrap my hot dog in a slice of pizza? A pizza dog sounds delicious. It's also a heart attack waiting to happen, but it sounds delicious.

Beauty and the Beast 3D

2011-11-22T09:56:00.000-08:00

Back in June, I said that the next Disney movie is the Lion King in 3D. Well, the next Disney movie is Beauty and the Beast in 3D.

So, does anyone remember when Disney changed their policy on sequels? You know, after they made Mulan 2, Lion King 2, 101 Dalmatians 2, Bambi 2, [Insert any Disney film here] 2, and so on. Three years ago, Disney announced that they would no longer make direct-to-home release sequels.

Many people were happy about this, because they thought the home release sequels were bad movies, and Disney only made them because they wanted to capitalize on a pre-existing licenses. "Good for Disney!" people said. "They're starting to care more about the quality of their products, and less about the profit!"

Well...now it's starting to look like 3D re-releases are Disney's new method of capitalizing on pre-existing licenses. Which film is going to be re-released next in 3D? I'm thinking The Little Mermaid or The Jungle Book.

The kind of sad part is that I'm tempted to go see Beauty and the Beast 3D, despite my ban against 3D movies, because the movie comes with a Tangled short. Sort of like how I was tempted to see Cars 2, because it had a Toy Story short paired with it. But I understand the Toy Story short has been released on DVD, so if I wait six months, the Tangled short will probably be released on DVD, too.

Professor Layton (Part 3)

2011-11-21T09:27:00.000-08:00

Welcome back to my plot recap of Professor Layton and the Last Specter. When we last left off, our heroes made no progress at all in hunting down the mysterious specter that is destroying the town. They did learn that Mr. Barde, the father of Luke's girlfriend Arianna, died under mysterious circumstances.

Emmy decides that she hasn't yet cemented her role as a main character in the series, so she decides to fly solo for a while. She goes to London and meets up with Inspector Grosky of Scotland Yard. Grosky is a barrel-chested crimefighter. No, seriously. His chest is roughly the shape and size of a barrel. It's creative character design, and I don't know whether to be amused or scared by it.

Emmy learns that Mr. Barde's death was a suicide. There was only one witness, and the witness inherited all of Mr. Barde's estate. Who was the witness? Luke's father, ~~Darth Vader~~ Clark.

Our heroes interrogate Clark, but they don't learn anything. In the meantime, they meet with the morbidly obese and obviously evil Police Chief Jakes. Jakes gives them twenty-four hours to leave town, before he arrests them. Also, he sends a pack of thugs after our heroes to beat them up. Emmy has watched Kung-Fu Panda at least twenty times, though, so she is able to fight the thugs without much trouble.

Then, it's time for a weird plot twist! Luke reveals that he has a magical talking mouse in his pocket. The mouse has the power to predict where the specter is going to appear. I am not making this up. There really is a magical talking mouse. His name is Toppy. Luke is fluent in Mouse, so he talks with Toppy to learn that the specter will appear near the arch in town, where the water level is low.

There is, of course, no reason to doubt the word of Toppy the Magical Talking Mouse. That's why our heroes go to the arch that night. When the specter appears, Layton gets a good look at it. He determines its identity immediately, and right when he's about to announce what the specter is...

...The police show up and arrest Professor Layton. All our heroes, including Toppy, get thrown into jail. Oh no, not Toppy! Can our heroes escape from jail and solve the mystery, before someone gets killed by the specter? Does Luke always keep vermin inside his pockets, or was this just a one-time deal? Will the Professor ever remember how he first met Emmy? Stay tuned!

Antique Shopping

2011-11-20T09:34:00.000-08:00

On Thursday, I had to go out of town, about a half-hour to the north. Before returning back home, I figured I'd visit the local antique store, which is really big.

Apparently, it used to be two different antique stores that merged into one. With such a big store, I was able to find a lot of great items.

Ah! My cooking problems are over! I've got a book of magic recipes for the new-fangled electric blender that just got invented!

A Hardy Boys Mysteries lunchbox? I can put my electric blender food in there! I would gladly pay $5 for that, but sadly, it cost $45. Antique stores, why can't you have garage sale prices? Then people would actually buy things from you.

There was a large shelf of Disney figurines, which were nice to look at.

Among the pictures they had for sale was one of random mustache man.

Why did they put a copy of Zelda: Minish Cap inside the 1940's case?

---

After seeing all their items, I was thinking about buying two or three things. But then I overheard the two employees talking about me. They were old and must have hearing problems, because they were talking louder than necessary. They were discussing whether or not they could trick me into buying a figurine, if they pretended it was supposed to be religious. "We'll just say it's a Virgin Mary. He'll never know the difference," the woman said. The man laughed in response.

So naturally, I left without buying anything from Rip-Off Antiques. After that, I went to a smaller antique/gift store. The small store was much better, even if their selection wasn't as extensive. The lady at the counter was nice, and they had garage sale prices. I went home with two 1910s books for five dollars.

Bronies

2011-11-19T09:45:00.000-08:00

I have been informed that there is a new Internet subculture that has developed: Bronies.

A brony is a person who is a big fan of the TV show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. For some reason, the most recent installment of the series (2010) has become wildly popular, especially among adult males who you would not expect to watch a TV showed marketed towards six-year-old girls.

For the record, I am not a brony. I have never watched this TV show, nor do I really have time to watch TV anymore. But I can appreciate the fact that the bronies have made some truly hilarious videos:

I sometimes catch a little flack from people, who think I should not be allowed to enjoy Nancy Drew games, because I'm a boy, but I imagine the bronies have a harder time with that sort of thing.

If anyone named Brinny is reading this, I expect you to make a brownie recipe for these My Little Pony fans. That way, you can call them Brinny's Brony Brownies. Make it happen, Brinny!

Brave

2011-11-18T09:23:00.000-08:00

To continue my previous discusson on Pixar movies, we now have a trailer for Brave which actually shows off the characters.

I think this movie is going to fight an uphill battle, distinguishing itself from How to Train Your Dragon. They look somewhat similar.

Anyway, I'm not sure if I like the movie or not. What do you guys say?

Most Popular Nancy Drew Game Guides

2011-11-17T09:10:00.000-08:00

I've written text walkthroughs for 21 of the 25 games in the Nancy Drew series. The ones I've missed are Legend of the Crystal Skull, Secret of the Old Clock, Danger on Deception Island, and Phantom of Venice.

GameFAQs keeps track of how many views each guide gets. Just for fun, I thought it'd be interesting to list out the most popular guides here.

Curse of Blackmoor Manor (32,174 hits)
Haunting of Castle Malloy (19,035 hits)
The Haunted Carousel (16,368 hits)
Last Train to Blue Moon Canyon (15,500 hits)
Ransom of the Seven Ships (14,270 hits)
Treausre in the Royal Tower (11,378 hits)

All the other guides have received less than ten thousand hits. Warnings at Waverly Academy and The Final Scene are neck-and-neck at around 9,400, though.

The least popular guide is Alibi in Ashes, with only 658 hits. Then again, I only finished that guide three weeks ago. It hasn't had as much time as some of the other guides, which have been up for years now.

The Kung Fu Panda Show

2011-11-16T09:33:00.000-08:00

On my trip back home from Spain--remind me to talk about that one day--I watched Kung Fu Panda 2 four times. Not by choice, mind you. They have TV sets built into the seats on flights to Europe, so you can watch some movies or TV during the 14-hour flight.

The TV set on my seat was broken, so I couldn't watch anything. Instead, I watched the only TV I could see, which was the one belonging to the kid in front of me. He watched Kung Fu Panda 2 four times, and he watched Rio three times. It was a movie marathon of seven back-to-back movies...made up of two movies.

I should note that he was the only person with headphones for his seat. I couldn't actually hear the movie. But after watching it four times, I got a pretty good idea of what the plot was. I still wouldn't recommend watching it without the sound on, though.

Recently, I saw a bit of the new Kung Fu Panda TV show, and I had two reactions. 1, the animation quality has been greatly decreased. 2, I incorrectly guessed the genders of half the characters.

For example, I thought the Tiger Buddy was a macho man who is Panda's main competitor. And it turns out that Tiger Buddy is actually Tigress, voiced by Angelina Jolie. Same sort of thing with Granny Goose, Girl Monkey, and Weird Goat Dude. Oh well.

Nancy Drew: Alibi in Ashes Review

2011-11-15T09:20:00.000-08:00

Nancy Drew: Alibi in Ashes is the 25th game in the Nancy Drew series. To mark this occasion, they tried to do something really different in this game. Most of the games in the series have Nancy travelling to some exotic overseas location in order to solve a mystery, but this game has her solving a mystery right in her home town of River Heights.

Another special thing they did for this game was to fill it with characters who are regulars in the Nancy Drew book series. I thought that was a really neat touch. Another neat touch is the plot, which is unexpectedly different. Within the first ten minutes of the game, Nancy gets framed for arson and arrested. If that's not a dramatic way to start your game, I don't know what is.

The other thing that strikes me as really "different" about this game is how the culprit's identity is revealed. Normally, the culprit only gets revealed during a dramatic confrontation at the end of the game. In this game, Nancy confronts the culprit, the culprit confesses...and the game keeps going for another half hour after that, because Nancy doesn't have concrete proof of the culprit's guilt. I thought that was a creative move that really added to the dramatic tension of the situation.

I think what I'm trying to say is that they tried some new and different things in this game, and I liked that.

The characters in this game were well-done, although really, I would say that no matter what the characters are like, because they included Police Chief McGinnis. If Chief McGinnis was the only character in this game, and all he did was talk about his mustache for two hours straight, it'd get a thumbs-up from me. Alas, the Chief and his Mighty Mustache of Criminal-Catching Awesomeness only appear in cutscenes during this game, but it's still enough to get me to officially approve the cast list.

Alexei Markovic was the most well-developed character, I would say. His backstory gets revealed in pieces, instead of all at once, which makes it more interesting. Deirdre Shannon's portrayal was spot-on; she acted just like she does in the books. I haven't read any of the books in which Brenda Carlton appears, but I'm going to guess she's accurate, too. Toni Scallari, though, was probably my least favorite character, because she doesn't talk much about anything to anyone, except Bess.

This brings me to another point. You play as four different characters in this game: Nancy, Ned, Bess and George. Each character has his or her own special abilities, of sorts. For example, Deirdre is only nice to Ned, so if you want to get information from Deirdre, you need to switch to Ned. It's an interesting gameplay mechanic to have you switch between four characters semi-regularly. The complaint that people have, though, is that you switch directly between Nancy's three friends. So, if you want to switch from Bess to George, the game makes you switch from Bess to Nancy, then you switch from Nancy to George. It's an unnecessary middle step that could have been easily eliminated.

All in all, I'm giving this game a nine out of ten. They went out of their way to do something special and different for the twenty-fifth game in the series, and it really paid off. Nancy Drew: Alibi in Ashes is a good testament to a long-lived series. Here's hoping for the next twenty-five games!

Abraham Lincoln Comments on Nancy Drew: Alibi in Ashes

2011-11-14T09:08:00.000-08:00

I managed to find our good friend Abraham Lincoln and interview him about the latest Nancy Drew game.

Abraham Lincoln: Hello my friend and how are you this fine day?
Michael: I am a little tired, good sir.
Abraham Lincoln: That's nice to hear.
Michael: Are you excited for the new Twilight movie?
Abraham Lincoln: Most likely I'm not. I am just putting on an act.
Michael: I hear they're splitting the last movie up into two parts, just like Harry Potter did.
Abraham Lincoln: If they are, I'll never forgive them.
Michael: Wow, I never pictured you as such a Twilight-hater. Moving on, though, have you played the new Nancy Drew game?
Abraham Lincoln: Oh yes, I have played quite a lot. Come to think of it, I have also been to the movies quite a lot.
Michael: Not the Twilight movies, I presume. Did you like Alibi in Ashes?
Abraham Lincoln: You're joking! I would have run ten miles to get away from Alibi.

Michael: Oh...so you don't think it's a good videogame. Why not?
Abraham Lincoln: Ok.
Michael: Ok what?
Abraham Lincoln: I could try telling you what, but then you'd have to get your head round the technical terms. Are you ready for that?
Michael: I am ready. I am prepared. Tell me, Abe.
Abraham Lincoln: Then maybe you should go to bed. I was a "self-made" man being both self-educated and self-disciplined. The Whig party (which came before the Republican Party) espoused these ideals and I identified with that. My legal career and temperment were both highly suited to being a "Whig." Today, given the shift if party beliefs and political positions, I'm not entirely sure which party I would endorse. Fancy that, mine too.
Michael: So...you dislike Alibi in Ashes, for political reasons. That makes sense, I guess. Are you upset that the River Heights Town Hall gets burned in the game, or are you more upset at the less-than-ideal portayal of Toni Scallari, the town's councilwoman?
Abraham Lincoln: Yes I am upset, but don't worry. Upset doesn't bite!
Michael: No, I asked what upsets you more: Toni or the Town Hall.
Abraham Lincoln: What upsets -- that's rather a tricky question. The trouble is, one upset appears to be much like another.
Michael: Some people think that Toni Scallari is based off Sarah Palin. What do you say?

Abraham Lincoln: I think she was a very interesting choice. be good and treat everyone like you would like to be treated.
Michael: Would you have voted for Toni Scallari, though, knowing that she dislikes Nancy Drew?
Abraham Lincoln: I certainly would. Just watch me!
Michael: What?! ABE! Are you saying that you hate Nancy?
Abraham Lincoln: I don't believe I know anyone by that name.
Michael: Nancy Drew, the girl accused of burning down the town hall.
Abraham Lincoln: I don't know about that, and as a matter of interest I really don't need to know! What else are you able to talk to me about?
Michael: You are totally avoiding the topic, Mr. President, and I have the feeling it's because you secretly dislike Nancy Drew almost as much as you dislike Twilight.
Abraham Lincoln: Quite right, I am. But then, so is the gorilla in the Berlin zoo. Or so I was told.
Michael: I knew I should have let Brenda Carlton handle this interview. You can't give me a straight answer.
Abraham Lincoln: Frankly that's not my favourite subject.
Michael: Did you just use the British spelling of "favorite"?
Abraham Lincoln: I like classical music.
Michael: ...Right. Anyway, I think we should end this interview. Any final thoughts on Nancy Drew: Alibi in Ashes?
Abraham Lincoln: Ok. With hard work and determination nearly everthing is possible. He was definitely much cooler and better looking than I was. He was the star football player to my loner, intellectual vibe. I can't compete with Camelot. I'll tell you that he's pretty cool to chat with...great story teller.
Michael: Goodbye, Abe.
Abraham Lincoln: Goodbye, it was nice speaking with you.

Wow, Abraham Lincoln really dislikes Alibi in Ashes. Do I feel the same way? Tune in tomorrow to find out, as I review the game myself!

(If I can finish writing the review by then.)

Yumi's Secret

2011-11-13T09:44:00.000-08:00

Someone pointed out something rather itneresting. In Nancy Drew: Shadow at the Water's Edge, there is a scary sequence where someone tells Yumi that her secret is known.

It's in 0:48 of this video:

...Did we ever find out what Yumi's secret is? I don't remember finding out any of Yumi's secrets.

Audio Recording

2011-11-12T09:18:00.000-08:00

Hey, you guys should know this. Is there any kind of iPhone app I can use to record audio? Specifically, I'm thinking of using the iPhone to capture the audio for my video walkthroughs, because people say my new computer's microphone is bad.

The iPhone has voice recognition, so I have to believe it has some kind of high-quality audio recording program. People probably use it to make bootleg recordings of concerts and things.

Does the app have a time limit? I know the audio program on the Nintendo DSi has a time limit of, say, forty seconds. That's not very useful. It'd be nice if the audio program for the iPhone didn't have a time limit to destroy its usefulness.

Dot and Tot of Merryland

2011-11-11T09:02:00.000-08:00

I just finished producing the eBook version of Dot and Tot of Merryland, by L. Frank Baum and W. W. Denslow. The story behind the book is actually more interesting than the book itself, in my opinion.

In 1900, Baum and his buddy Denslow worked together to make The Wizard of Oz. The book and Broadway play were mega-hits, and they instantly skyrocketed to superstar status. They obviously wanted to duplicate the success of the Wizard of Oz, so the next year, the two men came together again and made Dot and Tot of Merryland.

I admit, The Wizard of Oz is a really, really tough act to follow. How should they have followed it up?

With anything other than Dot and Tot of Merryland.

Not to be mean, but it's not a very good book. Maybe it was rushed or something; I think it could definitely be improved with some editing and reorganization. The book was a complete flop on the market. Shortly afterwards, the Baum/Denslow dream team broke up, and the two of them never worked together again.

Baum's career was rocky for a while after that, until he wrote a sequel to The Wizard of Oz. That became a big bestseller, so he wrote more sequels, and he eventually became known as the Oz guy.
Denslow, on the other hand, seems to have gone somewhat crazy after he broke ties with Baum. He used his Oz money to buy an island in Bermuda, and he declared himself King Denslow the First. He also became an alcoholic and died penniless.

Professor Layton and the Last Specter (Part 2)

2011-11-10T09:22:00.000-08:00

All right, time to continue with my plot recap of the latest Professor Layton game! When we last left off, our heroes went to find the evil specter. And that's exactly what they did! They sat in their hotel room and watched as the shadowy beast appeared in the mist and started smashing buildings. The whole time, the mysterious "Specter's Flute" was playing.

What is "The Specter's Flute"? That was the original title for this game, and apparently, whenever you play the flute, the specter appears and starts destroying things. Yes, that's right, a flautist is responsible for all the destruction in town. I think the culprit is probably an angry band geek who wants to get revenge on the jocks who teased him in high school.

The next section of the game is Chapter Four, which should be titled The Thoroughly Uninteresting Chapter. Here, you have to spend an hour and a half, going through the marketplace over and over and over again. At the end of it all, you learn that children like candy and dressing up in costumes. Well, that red herring was certainly worth the effort! I could never have figured that out on my own.

The plot picks up again in Chapter Five, when our heroes go to a nearby mansion, which is the home of Arianna the Witch. It turns out that Arianna is a young girl, a little older than Luke. Luke reveals that he and Arianna used to be good friends. A somewhat romantic flashback plays, which shows how Luke met Arianna, and how the two of them spent the entire night together, watching the beautiful stars in the sky. But before you can say "true love", Arianna kicks our heroes out of the house and tells Luke never to talk to her again.

...Ow. Maybe that's why Prequel Luke is so moody. His girlfriend hates him.

Luke explains that Arianna has a terminal illness, and that she has refused to talk to anyone ever since her father was killed. After that, Luke's mother disappeared, the specter started destroying the town, and lots of people died from an unknown disease. In other words, it was not good times.

The rest of the chapter is an hour of Layton chasing down another red herring. It's kind of weird, actually. Layton is a super-genius who solves mysteries so quickly that he puts Sherlock Holmes to shame. But he's extra-stupid in this chapter, so they can really draw out the red herring subplot and make it last as long as possible. I didn't like seeing Layton get dumbed down for the sake of filler. It just felt wrong to see him break character like that.

Professor Layton: He's smart, unless him being stupid results in another hour of gameplay.

With that, you reach the halfway point of the game. So far, our heroes have learned...well, not that much, actually. They learned about the flute, and they met Luke's girlfriend. But they completely forgot to investigate the specter which is destroying the town. Maybe they'll remember the main plot of the game in the next section.

Outhouse Burgers

2011-11-09T09:48:00.000-08:00

When I first moved to my new town, I decided to visit every single restaurant in order to figure out which one I liked best. Good plan, right? I'll visit the three or four restaurants, and then decide which one is best.

Well, it turns out that my new town has almost nothing but restaurants in it. There are over 40 places to eat here. It's all expensive restaurants and no fast food places anywhere. I can't afford to eat out unless I save up money by eating macaroni and cheese for a few days, so this is not an ideal situation for me.

Fortunately, after two months, the search for my new favorite restaurant in town has ended. I am now a proud fan of the restuarant called...I forget the name. I only remember the nickname, "Outhouse Burgers", which shows you how good people here think the food is.

Okay, so the burgers aren't the best. The buns are too flaky, the fries are too small, and I literally had to try out four different things before finding something which rates higher than "edible" on the taste meter. But I have my reasons for liking Outhouse Burgers!

It is within walking distance of my house.
It is cheap. It is one of the few places in town where you can get a meal and a drink for under ten dollars. There are free refills, too.
It is very low-key and quiet and relaxed. That's the atmosphere I'm looking for, because I usually only go out on my day off.

Anyway, I just thought I would share with everyone the good news. I have a new burger hangout in town! You should stop by and visit sometime. Just try not to eat the food there.

Stairway to Heaven

2011-11-08T09:08:00.000-08:00

Today is the 40th anniversary of Stairway to Heaven. The last time I heard the song was 10 years ago, when I was told that it is the best song ever, and you have to hear it, or else you are a bad, bad person.

I listened to the song, and I don't remember liking it because it's too long. Too much guitar, not enough singing. Let me try listening to it again.

Okay, yeah...the guitar solos are kind of long and repetitive...And the lyrics aren't so good, either...

Hey, I figured it out! Just skip ahead to 6:00, where it becomes a halfway decent rock song. Yeah, that's not that bad. I wouldn't call it the best song ever, but it's kind of good if you just listen from there.

I guess I still don't see why people like this song too much. I think it takes too long for the song to get going; I would probably prefer it if they played with all the instruments from the start, rather than adding a new instrument into the mix every two minutes or so.

Question Time

2011-11-07T09:34:00.000-08:00

Here's a question I have, inspired by Halloween. Which Starburst flavor is the best?

1. Red
2. Orange
3. Yellow
4. Pink

The correct answer, of course, is pink. Everyone who answered "yellow", feel free to read someone else's blog.

Michael's Worst 12 Games List Explained

2011-11-06T09:28:00.000-08:00

Uh oh, people want explanations for my Worst Twelve Games list. Maybe I wasn't clear yesterday. There was a list of 112 bad games for us to vote on. It has every bad game, from Where's Waldo? (NES) to Try Not to Fart (Xbox Live).

I have not played all 112 of the bad games. In fact, I have only played 12 of them. I was asked to rank these 12 games, from bad to worse. I didn't come up with the games; I was just asked to rank them from bad to worst.

Here are more explanations:

1. Metroid: Other M (Wii) is the best of the bunch, in my opinion. It has good graphics, and I loved the Nightmare boss battle. My main problem is with the control scheme, which makes it almost impossible to dodge enemy attacks. I couldn't complete the final boss battle, because of that control scheme mishap.

It's on the list of bad games, because fans of the series really, really hate it. It doesn't fit in well with the rest of the series. The main character, Samus, is completely out of character in this game. In all the other games, she's a confident, kick-butt bounty hunter. In this game, she's an insecure whiner who needs a man to tell her what to do all the time. It's sexist, and the Samus from the other games in the series would never act like that.

2. Super Mario Sunshine (GCN) is another good-ish game, which is why it's on the better end of the spectrum. The problem with Super Mario Sunshine is that it gets boring, really quickly. There is no variety in the gameplay. It's basically just twenty hours of doing the same thing over and over: using the FLUDD to clean up dirt.

Sure, they try to switch things up with different FLUDD nozzles and Yoshi. But in the end, they all do the same thing: clean up dirt. It's boring.

3. Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney (DS). If Metroid: Other M is bad because Samus acts differently than she does in the rest of the series, Apollo Justice is bad because Phoenix Wright acts differently than he does in the rest of the series. Phoenix gets demoted from "hero" to "drunken hobo who abandons all his friends". Pretty much every time Drunken Hobo Phoenix appeared onscreen, he said or did something that made me want to pull out my hair in frustration.

Other than that...it's a well-written game, and they make good use of the DS features. I have other minor issues with the game--such as the fact that Case #3 makes you watch the same movie about ten times, or the fact that the time-travelling adventures in Case #4 make no sense from a time-travelling perspective--but overall, it's good enough to be one of the top three best games on the list.

4. Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker (GCN). Wind Waker is bad for two main reasons. First, the game is incomplete, and you can tell. Following the in-game logic, there were two more dungeons that Link should have gone to. Heck, if you followed the in-game logic closely enough, Link should have visited five more dungeons: seven dungeons for the seven sages of Ocarina of Time. But the game was already running behind schedule, so they left the planned dungeons half-finished. What did they put in their place? Probably the worst collection quest of all time.

You have to go all around the game, finding the seven treasure maps. Then you pay Tingle a ton of money to decipher the maps. Then, you go all around the game again, to find the treasure. It's a 3-4 hour sidequest that kills every attempt to speedrun the game. What a rip-off.

The second main reason people dislike this game is because most of it involves sailing, and sailing is not fun. Even when you learn a warp song, you still have to sail an awful lot.

Oh, and people dislike the game because it introduced the character Toon Link, who has since dominated the entire series with his cartoony, more G-rated adventures. Zelda used to be the dark Nintendo series, compared to Mario.

5. Harvest Moon: Friends of Mineral Town for Girls (GBA) is the exact same thing as Harvest Moon: Friends of Mineral Town, with a few minor changes. Mainly, the main character is a girl now. Other games in the series let you pick whether you want to play as a girl or boy; they don't make you buy a separate game, just so you can play as a different gender. Harrumph.

6. Nancy Drew: Message in a Haunted Mansion (GBA). This was a bad port of the original PC game. They cut out pretty much all the animation, voice acting and sound effects. If you haven't played the original game, you probably won't be able to beat this one, because you won't know what's going on.

7. Santa Claus Saves the World (GBA) has bad graphics and bad gameplay.

8. Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth (DS) is another game in a series, where the characters start acting out-of-character. There's no problem with character development and having characters change a bit, throughout a series. But there's a problem when the characters act completely different from their usual selves, for no reason whatsoever.

The pacing to this game is absolutely atrocious, and it ruins everything. The translation is, by and large, completely horrible. I feel bad for this game, really. With minor changes to the pacing and the translation, it would be twice as good.

Also, one of the main characters they made up for this game, Kay Faraday, is kind of annoying and overly perfect. The Edgeworth from the other games would never tolerate her, but in this game, he willingly puts up with her.

9. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (NES). Hey, I like this game! Who put it on the list?

Okay, fine, the other games in the TMNT series are so good that everyone pretends this first game doesn't exist. And nobody ever beat the game, because it was a mixture of too hard and not well organized. And the second level, the underwater one with electrical seaweed, did not fit in at all. Since when do the turtles spend their time swimming? I know they're turtles, but they spend their time fighting bad guys, not swimming around and trying not to be killed by plants!

10. Athena (NES) is too hard. The enemy set-up is particularly bad. Most games will only have one or two enemies attack at once, but in this game, enemies just flood the screen constantly. You can't really stand still; you have to be constantly moving to get through. This doesn't work so well, because some levels are mazes, and you need time to figure out how to navigate through them.

Also, the weapons and armor system doesn't work. You're best off if you find one weapon, the ball and chain, and you never ever ever switch to a different weapon. You hear me? Actively avoid picking up the weapons that enemies automatically drop. Oh, and feel free to cry during the levels where the game forces you to pick up a horrible weapon that doesn't do any damage at all, just so you can get through a specific area.

11. Bart Versus the Space Mutants (NES). No one got past the first level, where Bart needs to spray paint 40 purple things. The controls don't work well enough for this to be a feasible task, and Bart dies really easily. You probably won't get past five things before reaching the game over sequence.

12. Mega Man Xtreme 2 (GBC) is another game that's just a bad port of the original. The graphics, music and controls don't work, even though they cut those things down as much as possible. Just play Mega Man X2 instead. It's actually enjoyable. Plus, there are no translation errors in that game, as far as I know!

Michael's Worst 12 Games List

2011-11-05T09:20:00.000-07:00

I am working on a collaboration project, to identify the 50 worst games of all time. The list has 112 games on it so far, and we're trying to narrow it down.

I was asked to pick my personal "Worst 10 Games" from the list. There were only 12 games on the list that I actually played and disliked to some extent, so I made it a "Worst 12" list instead. Here's the Worst 12, from best to worst.

Metroid: Other M (Wii)
Super Mario Sunshine (GCN)
Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney (DS)
Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker (GCN)
Harvest Moon: Friends of Mineral Town for Girls (GBA)
Nancy Drew: Message in a Haunted Mansion (GBA)
Santa Claus Saves the World (GBA)
Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth (DS)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (NES)
Athena (NES)
Bart Versus the Space Mutants (NES)
Mega Man Xtreme 2 (GBC)

I came up with that order by asking "Would I rather play Game X or Game Y?", instead of by asking, "Is Game X worse than Game Y?". The results surprised me, to say the least. The final four are games that I think are bad, but I don't actively dislike them. I just never play them because they're not fun. The games that I do actively dislike (Wind Waker, Wind Waker and Wind Waker) ended up getting placed closer to the "good games" end of the spectrum. Very odd how that turned out.

In the next phase, I think I get to vote on bad games that I haven't played, such as Monkey Island 4 or Quest 64. That should be more interesting.

What's Up With Nintendo

2011-11-04T09:46:00.000-07:00

In today's Friday news post, let's talk about what's going on with Nintendo right now.

First up, Nintendo published their quarterly earnings statement. As you might remember, the last quarter was very bad for Nintendo; they had to cut their expected profit by 82%, and they cut the price of the 3DS by $80. So how did Q4 (or as they call it in Japan, Q2) go for them?

Well...not so good. The reports show a loss of $924,000,000. That's almost a billion dollars. They say the huge loss of money is due to the poor world economy, which has hurt most of the Japanese companies which rely on exports for profits. Also, Nintendo blames the 3DS price cuts for making them lose money. I find this claim to be completely ridiculous, because if they didn't drop the price of the 3DS, no one would have bought one. The same financial reports prove that people actually started buying the 3DS once the price dropped! The number of 3DSes that were sold tripled, compared to the previous quarter.

Also, Nintendo is making the Circle Pad Pro, which is an accesssory that connects to the 3DS. It gives you...another circle pad, on the right-hand side of the screen. It makes the 3DS sort of look like a PSP. I'm really bad at games that require two control sticks, such as everything ever made for the Xbox 360, so I'm going to pass on buying this kind of bulky accessory.

The 3DS Shop is coming to PC and Smartphones. Good to see that they're trying to fix the 3DS shop, which has a weird layout that makes it hard to find whatever game you're looking for. Also, I haven't purchased anything from the shop because it follows a weird points system that I can't decipher. Oh, and I'm pretty sure the games cost way more than iPhone games do.

Whoops, I was so busy complaining about the 3DS shop that I forgot to say how it's being improved! It...isn't being improved. You can look up a game in the shop on your smartphone, but then you have to use your 3DS camera to take a picture of the QR reader. The "buy this game" page will then open on the 3DS. That seems like a lot of unnecessary work, and it'd be easier to just use the 3DS shop on the 3DS itself.

The California Bullet Train

2011-11-03T09:30:00.000-07:00

We've just received some more news, concerning the California Bullet Train. For those of you who don't know, the Bullet Train is a high-speed train that travels from San Francisco to LA in about three hours. That's an eight-hour car trip, so the train saves a lot of time and money.

The only problem is that the Bullet Train doesn't exist yet.

Back in the 2008 election, the people of California voted to build the Bullet Train System. After one year of planning and ten years of building, the train would be operational. The projected cost was 33 billion dollars, which is a really hefty price, especially considering that the economy had recently died.

Well, it's almost three years from that election, and the train still hasn't left the "planning" phase. The planning team recently announced that the projected cost has been revised, and now the train is going to cost $100 billion dollars. Also, it's going to take fifteen more years than originally expected to build the train. Oh, and also, most of the money that's being used to pay for the train doesn't exist yet. The state government still supports the project, though.

Ha ha, California.

Adventures in Bachelor-ville

2011-11-02T09:58:00.000-07:00

I had some more bachelor adventures today, as I tried cooking chicken in the oven for the first time.

Cue ominous music

"This shouldn't be too difficult," I said to myself, putting the chicken in one of those pan-things that I don't know the name of. You put the chicken and the oven and you let it cook for fifteen minutes. Even a caveman can do it.

I put the chicken in the oven, then I went to my room and started messing around on my computer. When I checked the time, I was two minutes late for turning the chicken over, so both sides are cooked evenly. Whoops. The chicken wasn't burnt, though, so no harm done.

When the fifteen-turned-eighteen minutes were up, I took the chicken out of the oven, and I reread the instructions. The next step is "carefully remove baking sheet with chicken from oven".

What is going on here??? What is a baking sheet? Is that...the aluminum foil thing you sometimes put over pots for some reason? Why didn't they mention this in the instructions earlier? And how am I supposed to tell if the chicken is cooked if aluminum foil is over it?

Okay, so maybe I failed on that step. But I was sure I could solve the final step, "drizzle or toss sauce over heated chicken pieces and serve".

There is SAUCE involved??? Since when? I didn't make any sauce! The only sauce I have here is ketchup. No one told me that I was going to need sauce. And how do you toss sauce, anyway? Am I supposed to cover my hands in sauce and fling it onto the chicken? THIS IS MADNESS.

In conclusion, I failed at following Trader Joe's chicken cooking instructions. Joe and I are no longer on speaking terms now.

I guess you're supposed to cook the sauce while the chicken is cooking, because the sauce recipe requires you to heat water for five minutes. I didn't have time to cook the sauce, so I just used cold sauce. Fortunately, the fresh-from-the-oven chicken warmed up the sauce a bit, and the cold sauce cooled down the chicken a bit, so it didn't burn my mouth.

The verdict? A passable meal! I guess. I'm told that "real" meals consist of more than just a main dish, but I say that chicken plus sauce equals two different things to eat, so it's totally a real meal. Plus, I'm only cooking for one. Even cooking the small dish of chicken resulted in leftovers for tomorrow.

Nancy Drew Culprits

2011-11-01T09:54:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I reviewed the list of culprits in the Nancy Drew series. The only culprits who made a direct attempt on Nancy's life are in Ghost Dogs of Moon Lake, Alibi in Ashes and Treasure in the Royal Tower. All the other culprits only attack her during the endgame sequence.

Here's something that may interest you. It's a comprehensive list of how the different culprits attempt to attack or kill Nancy, during the endgame sequences. When I say the culprit "escapes", I'm indicating that there is a "chase after the escaping culprit" sequence.

Secrets Can Kill: The culprit shoots Nancy.
Stay Tuned for Danger: The culprit chokes her.
Message in a Haunted Mansion: The culprit knocks her unconscious.
Treasure in the Royal Tower: The culprit uses pepper spray on Nancy, then escapes.
The Final Scene: The culprit leaves Nancy trapped in a building that is going to explode.
Secret of the Scarlet Hand: The culprit locks Nancy inside a monolith with little oxygen.
Ghost Dogs of Moon Lake: The culprit attacks Nancy with a dog bone.
The Haunted Carousel: The culprit chokes Nancy.
Danger on Deception Island: The culprit chokes Nancy.
Secret of Shadow Ranch: The culprit captures Nancy.
Curse of Blackmoor Manor: The culprit attempts to rob Nancy of the treasure.
Secret of the Old Clock: The culprit escapes from Nancy.
Last Train to Blue Moon Canyon: The culprit traps Nancy inside an abandoned mine.
Danger by Design: The culprit uses martial arts to beat Nancy to death.
Creature of Kapu Cave: The culprit escapes.
White Wolf of Icicle Creek: The culprit tries to blow her up with a bomb, then the culprit escapes.
Legend of the Crystal Skull: The culprit locks Nancy in a tomb, then escapes.
Phantom of Venice: The culprit locks Nancy in a room that is slowly filling with water, then escapes.
Haunting of Castle Malloy: The culprit throws Nancy in a dungeon.
Ransom of the Seven Ships: The culprit throws Nancy in a dungeon.
Warnings at Waverly Academy: The culprit leaves Nancy inside a booby-trapped dungeon.
Trail of the Twister: The culprit knocks Nancy unconscious when a tornado is about to hit, then the culprit escapes.
Shadow at the Water's Edge: The culprit escapes.
The Captive Curse: The culprit traps Nancy in a dungeon, and when Nancy escapes, the culprit attacks her violently.
Alibi in Ashes: The culprit locks Nancy inside treacherous tunnels.

So according to my calculations, Nancy should stay away from dungeons, because she tends to get trapped inside them. She also gets blown up or choked to death with some frequency.

Halloween

2011-10-31T09:55:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, everyone was encouraged to attend class dressed in a costume. I was the only one in my class who dressed up, though. I guess the kids aren't big on dressing up in my new hometown.

I guess this means I should come up with a different costume at the last minute. Let me see...I think I'll go as a boy band reject. All I have to do is dress, sing and dance badly. Should be natural for me!

As it turns out, Halloween is pretty low-key here. We don't get trick-or-treaters at our house, so nobody even bothered to buy candy! That's a travesty, if I've ever heard one. I'll have to make up for it by buying extra discount candy tomorrow.

I should probably watch a scary movie or something, except I didn't bring any movies with me when I moved. That and I don't own any scary movies, because the only one I really like is Evil Dead 2. Hmmm. Well, gee, I guess I'll just watch the horror movie episode of Total Drama Island, then. Happy Halloween, everyone!

Nancy Drew: Ghost Dogs of Moon Lake

2011-10-30T09:46:00.000-07:00

One of my friends is playing Nancy Drew: Ghost Dogs of Moon Lake for the first time. She got it as a joke, and now she's really engrossed in the plot.

I don't really like Ghost Dogs, mainly because it's not character-driven. Of all the games in the series, Ghost Dogs has the fewest amount of characters. Also, I don't think the characters really reach their potential; they're just kind of boring and they don't do much, as opposed to being interesting and driving the plot forward.

But the plot of Ghost Dogs is pretty exciting. The attack of the ghost dogs at the beginning is a real thriller. Also, halfway through the game, the culprit knocks Nancy unconscious, then ties her up inside a shed. The culprit then sets the shed on fire, in a blazen, er, brazen attempt to kill Nancy. That's a pretty exciting way to set up an extended puzzle sequence of getting untied from the ropes, getting out of the shed and stopping the fire.

And this got me thinking. The culprit in Ghost Dogs attacks Nancy and ties her up inside a burning building. That's attempted murder. In other games, the culprit usually just sends Nancy a semi-threatening message like "Stop investigating this case, or else!". Attempted murder usually doesn't happen, outside of the "bad ending" to the games.

I never thought of the Ghost Dogs culprit as being particularly dangerous before. Which culprit in the series do you guys think is the most dangerous?

More on Pixar Movies

2011-10-29T09:13:00.000-07:00

I posted about Monsters, Inc. a few days ago, and some of the things you guys said got me thinking.

Even though I'm not a really big fan of Monsters, Inc., I'm kind of looking forward to the prequel. More than, say, the last few Pixar movies.

Oh, wait, that includes Toy Story 3. That movie wasn't that bad. I didn't think the prison break genre fit in with the other films in the series, but whatever. I still enjoyed it.

Wikipedia says it cost $200 million to make Toy Story 3, which is more than the other two movies combined. Yikes!

Anyway, where was I? Right, I'm looking forward to Monsters University. But then again, I'm not setting the bar too high for it. I'm not expecting it to be knock-your-socks-off-better-than-the-original. I'm just expecting it to be moderately entertaining. I'll settle for that.

There are rumors of a Toy Story 4 and an Incredibles 2 in the works, but I don't know how credible these rumors are. Monsters University will be the third sequel in four movies, so maybe they should cool off with sequels for a while.

Meanwhile, here's the preview for Pixar's next non-sequel film, Brave.

The graphics look nice, but I have absolutely no idea what the plot of the movie is. The trailer makes it seem like some Scottish girl will kill bears with her bow and arrow...and that's about it. I'll wait for another trailer before deciding whether or not to see it.

Professor Layton and the Last Specter

2011-10-28T09:17:00.000-07:00

I just got my copy of the newest Professor Layton game, Professor Layton and the Last Specter. I had so much with my recap of the third game that I'm going to recap this game, too.

The Last Specter is the first game in a prequel trilogy. It starts off with a young Professor Layton meeting his spunky new sidekick, Emmy Altava. She's a biker chick with a bow tie and a love of photography. The first thing she does is cut in front of him while he's driving, then she slams on the brakes. Layton stops his car to yell at her, but then she jumps into his car and drives off.

I think they were trying to show that Emmy is eager to work with the Professor, but instead, it sort of made her look like a kidnapper and a horrible driver, besides. Don't worry, Emmy, we still like you.

Professor Layton and Emmy are going to Weirdnameville, which is a town that is being haunted by a humongous specter. The specter only appears at night, when it's very foggy out. The specter has also destroyed several homes, and it needs to be stopped immediately.

At the end of Chapter One, Layton first meets Luke, his sidekick from the other games. Because this is the prequel trilogy, Luke is wearing his hideous prequel clothes. Seriously, the boy is wearing ugly suspenders, and he's constantly frowning, probably because the other children make fun of his clothes. Instead of the happy Luke we know and love, Prequel Luke is constantly scared, depressed and overly serious.

The first thing Prequel Luke does is predict that the world will end soon. Five minutes later, the world ends. GAME OVER.

No, wait, that's not it. Luke says that the specter is going to appear in the north part of town that night, so our three heroes go over there to book a hotel room. After all, Layton saw a Scooby Doo episode like this once, so he's sure that's the best way to catch the fake ghost.

That's as far as I've gotten so far. Is the specter going to appear in the next chapter? Why is Luke so depressed? How does Luke know when and were the specter will appear? And how does Emmy know the Professor, when he doesn't recognize her? These questions will probably be answered next time I play the game, unless the world ends before then.

Halloween

2011-10-27T09:19:00.000-07:00

Halloween is coming up. Do people have good costumes?

I've been told I should go as Peter Pan this year, because I look just like him. I think that might have been a joke suggestion, though.

I want to wear my hobo costume, but I don't have enough time to grow my hobo beard, because I need to be clean-shaven on Sunday. So instead, I'm going as Saint John Bosco. I have the outfit; I just need to restyle my hair to look like his.

Inside the Guide: Alibi in Ashes

2011-10-26T15:23:00.000-07:00

Welcome to a special Inside the Guide, a behind-the-scenes look at making videogame walkthroughs. Recently, I finished my text walkthrough for Nancy Drew: Alibi in Ashes. Believe it or not, the hardest part of writing this guide was dividing it up into sections.

When you write a longer guide, you need to break it up into different sections. That way, people can easily find help with whatever they're looking for. Some games break up into sections very easily. For example, Mario games get broken up into different worlds, Fire Emblem games get broken up into different chapters, and so on.

Once in a while, though, you come across a game which doesn't easily split up into different sections. Usually, these are more open-ended games, where you can do things in any order you want to. Writing guides for these games is harder, because you basically have to make up an arbitrary standard, just for the sake of making the guide more organized. Here are three techniques I've used in the past:

1. Don't split up the guide at all. Instead, pretend there is a correct order to solving the puzzles in the game, even though there isn't. (Example: Nancy Drew: Secrets Can Kill)
2. Split up the guide, according to the various locations you visit. (Example: Putt-Putt Travels Through Time)
3. Split up the guide, according to the various puzzles you solve. (Example: Back to the Future: Episode Four)

The problem with writing a guide for Nancy Drew: Alibi in Ashes is that it is a semi-linear game. There are at least six different plotlines and characters that you have to investigate over the course of the game, and they are loosely organized. Some investigations, like the "double-check the alibis of every suspect", can be performed at any time. Others have to be performed in a specific order; for example, when you're getting fingerprints from the suspects, you have to get Alexei's fingerprint before getting Brenda's.

When writing my guide, I made a small chart of all the different investigations and how they're related. It turned out that five of the larger puzzles have "solve the evidence locker puzzle" as a prerequisite. So I decided to use that puzzle as the arbirtary standard for my guide. The guide goes all the way up to the evidence locker puzzle, and then the investigation section splits up from there. It might not be the ideal way to organize the guide, but it works.

I put my guide to the test, by replaying the game and solving the puzzles in a completely different order than I did the first time around. I also tried a 1% playthrough, where you do the absolute bare minimum in order to get through the game. It was pretty fun doing this, and some of the results were unexpected:

You can get through the game without playing as Bess.
About four-fiths of the conversations in this game are optional.
You have to read the newspaper article in Nancy Drew's house in order to beat the game.
You need to learn that three suspects are hiding flammable substances, before you get the lab results that tell you which flammable substance was used to start the fire.

Anyway, that's all I have to say about writing the text walkthrough for Nancy Drew: Alibi in Ashes.

Monsters Inc

2011-10-25T09:49:00.000-07:00

I think I mentioned earlier that they're making a prequel to Monsters, Inc. Personally, I like Monsters, Inc., but I think it gets more credit than it deserves. It especially bugs me when people say it's such a creative idea to have a children's movie about nice monsters, because "nice monsters" has been the premise of Sesame Street for about 40 years now.

I worked at the movie theaters when Monsters, Inc. came out, and I liked the duet that played at the end of the movie, during the ending credits. I heard the song about twenty times, because I'd be cleaning the movie theater while the song played.

But after a month or so, they released a new version of the movie, where bloopers play during the ending credits, instead of the song. And then later on, they released another version of the movie, with more bloopers during the ending credits. I liked the song during the credits better, myself.

Anyway, it seems that Monsters is getting a 3D re-release, to prep everyone for the sequel, just like they did with Toy Story 3. What's with all these sequels being made over ten years after the original, anyway? Kind of odd.

Back to the Future: The Walkthrough

2011-10-24T09:44:00.000-07:00

A new video walkthrough for Back to the Future: The Videogame: Episode One: It's About Time I Got To The End Of The Game's Title has been released!

The actual video footage was recorded by me, while the commentary is done by Paul Franzen and Nicholas Suprak. For the most part, I enjoy their commentary. I do not enjoy the parts where they comment on how bad I am at playing the game, but at least it makes things interesting.

There are plans to make a walkthrough for Episode Two, this time with much better picture quality. Also, I might make an appearance and do commentary for one of the videos.