Saturday, January 9, 2016

Castle Malloy Problems

At one point, I was going to do an "Everything wrong with Haunting of Castle Malloy" video. Care to help me out with identifying problems? Here's a preliminary list I've made up...
  • Nancy is too young to rent a car in the United Kingdom.
  • Donal is openly racist, and no one cares.
  • Nancy says she sees the castle gates, five seconds before the gates appear onscreen.
  • Nancy holds her phone in the left hand position, yet knocks on the castle gates with her right hand.
  • Nancy had a touchscreen GPS in the previous game. Now she has a flip phone.
  • Nancy brings a working cell phone to Ireland, but brings a back-up calling card, just in case. It's almost like she knew the phone would break ahead of time.
  • No way did Nancy's phone break. It just flipped over.
  • "Your dad, Hannah, and Togo too, of course". Kyler lists all the people she likes, but didn't invite to the wedding.
  • Donal goes on a two minute tangent about a rocket fuel explosion in 1944.
  • The boyfriend stealer is named Minkie McNab? Sounds like she was named by Lazy McCan'tWrite.
  • No, seriously, imagine going through high school with a name like Minkie McNab. It's no wonder she changed her name to Deirdre Shannon.
  • There are wine bottles in the background of the non-alcoholic bar.
  • Donal says Kyler is sleeping, but where? There's no bed in the tower room.
  • Nancy can hear Kyler, talking from all the way up in the tower room, but Kyler couldn't hear Nancy talking to Donal because...reasons?
  • The tower of Hanoi puzzle magically powers a lantern, because reasons.
  • In real life, crows do not get this close to humans.
  • Kyler has three different turtleneck sweaters, which are identical except for the color. I'm scared to see this woman's closet.
  • Donal has spent the past fifty years, cleaning up Castle Malloy. Donal is bad at his job.
  • Why is a weight for the weight puzzle inside the random fortune telling machine?
  • Why is there even a fortune telling machine here?
  • There's a giant hole where the wall is supposed to be, yet Kit isn't cold in the slightest.
  • Kit places the cots far away from the fireplace.
  • Kit.
  • Kit promises he'll tell the truth about his fight with Matt once you solve the seating chart puzzle, then he dodges the conversation and starts talking about the leprechaun book instead.
  • Kyler's wedding list includes past culprits who should be in jail, and therefore, are unable to attend.
  • Jane Penvellyn is not seated next to Brady Armstrong.
  • Why is Nancy sitting next to Lori Girard? Imagine how awkward that dinner conversation would be.
  • The game expects players to solve the leprechaun puzzle on their own.
  • Sure, Kyler moves from her chair. But she only does it offscreen, when nobody else is looking.
  • Why does Nancy need the buttons to press here? She should still be able to push the wall, without buttons there.
  • This hidden passageway is cool, but at the end of the game, Matt says he fell down a hole in here. I don't see any holes anywhere.
  • Matt claims he fell four feet, yet ended up in the hidden tunnel system. That's impossible to do, from the second floor of the castle.
  • The hidden tunnel system is nowhere near the bedroom where Matt disappeared.
  • Hey, Castle Malloy has a third floor! Maybe we should have gone there are some point.
  • Speaking of the architecture, where is the bathroom?
  • So...who dropped the clue, explaining how to get across the bog? It has to be Fiona, but at no point do we hear anything about her hiding inside the fireplace in the bedroom.
  • The bog crossing puzzle is super long.
  • Why are there a ton of flies in the cage? What are they attracted to? There's nothing inside, but a lens. You think they'd be attracted to all the herbs that are three feet away, instead.
  • Nancy is incapable of looking at the sheep doll, before getting a doll sorting puzzle with a sheep on it.
  • Fiona has been using a jetpack here for fifty years, but no one has seen her once, besides Nancy.
  • The gate opening puzzle.
  • Nancy opens the gate and leaves it open for a long time, yet none of the sheep escape.
  • This one sheep is seen by the archway, BEFORE Nancy opens the gate. How did it escape?
  • Kit leaves these drawings on the ground. Kit is a litterbug.
  • Also, Kit was on the far side of the sheep pen. Which means that he got through the gate, and presumably closed it after himself, so Nancy would have to solve the gate puzzle. Kit is a jerk.
  • Donal tells Nancy to collect the sheep, but doesn't tell her how to get through the ridiculous gate puzzle.
  • It takes Nancy three seconds to find Matt's luggage in Kit's area, yet Kit claims he had no idea it was there. Either Kit is bad at searching, or he's a liar.
  • It should be noted that nobody besides Nancy bothers to search for Matt.
  • The ogham runes puzzle.
  • Kyler forces Nancy to find a bunch of flowers for a bouquet. This bouquet is never used for anything, and you don't even have to put the flowers in the vase. It is literally just ten minutes of busywork, without any purpose.
  • The one area that you only visit once, to get flowers. How are you supposed to know where it is?
  • The other area that you only visit once, to get flowers. How are you supposed to know where it is?
  • The gear puzzle won't let you remove pieces in any order you want. You HAVE to remove the piece that's farthest from the start.
  • You don't need to print out the jetpack instructions correctly, in order to start the jetpack.
  • Nancy doesn't tell anyone about her jetpack.
  • Fiona is the only person to have visited the tower room in decades, yet there's not one speck of dust anywhere. She must be really good at cleaning.
  • "I think this doll is supposed to". If that's what you look like, Nancy, you need a new wardrobe.
  • The book puzzle.
  • Nancy is magically supposed to know there's an island here that she can jetpack to.
  • Nancy's jetpack can fly for hours on end, unless she goes too far north. Then it magically runs out of fuel.
  • Nancy can jetpack past Kyler's window all day, and Kyler won't notice a thing.
  • Hey, what fuels these jetpacks, anyway? Is it gasoline? Does Fiona occasionally visit a gas station to get her jetpack fueled up? How does she pay for that?
  • What does Fiona eat?
  • The end of the game says that the siren caused weird noises. What siren? We never saw one.
  • Nancy is way too close to the rocket, when it goes up. She is dead right now.
  • Nancy and Fiona use jetpacks all the time, yet they never one run into each other.
  • We can see Matt's shoulders from the opening shot, but in all other shots, he's too short for us to see his shoulders. Either he jumped up just for that scene, or Nancy is talking to Matt while sitting down.
  • This was Brendan Malloy's working lab, right? Why did he fill it with puzzles, to make it harder for him to work?
  • The chemicals puzzle.
  • The controller in the chemicals puzzle has five settings. You never use the lowest setting to solve the challenge. It is there, just so people can accidentally grip a chemical too tightly and die.
  • Not all of these chemicals have explosive properties.
  • Instead of detangling these wires, Nancy lets them stay crossed, just to make this puzzle more difficult.
  • Nancy doesn't need to launch the rocket successfully, right? She just needs to launch a rocket, to open the silo doors. Wouldn't it be easier if she just faked a rocket launch?
  • How does Fiona open the silo doors from the outside?
  • Donal sleeps through this.
  • When did Donal get a cane?
  • In the ending scenes, Kit is played by Fango from the previous game.
  • Bad photoshop.
  • A crazy banshee lady can figure out the jetpack's fuel system, but government experts? Nope, no way.


Anonymous said...

How about:
When you sheer a sheep, how does the sheering machine turn the sheep pinkish purple, let alone create cone-shaped mohawk-like spikes? And how would that grow out? You don't see any sheep that look like that walking around in that field. It just doesn't make sense!
How come Donal demands to have his Crow's Nest, and for the rest of the game doesn't appear to drink any of it?
Haha awesome list Michael!

The Red Wolf said...

I remember wondering about some of the things you listed like what hole Matt fell through and such. It is a great list. I never realized that the guest list Kit gives us has names of previous ND characters! Great observation!

Anonymous said...


That is all.

Anonymous said...

I always thought it was weird that Kyler had no friends and had to call Nancy, someone several years younger than her who she didn't know very well and hadnt seen in years, to be her maid of honor.

Now that you mention that all the people at the table are either past villains or characters from past games (Henry wasnt a villain) that is downright creepy!!! Stalker much?

Also wouldn't the jet pack have made a lot of noise in such a remote place over the years?

WHen fiona's parents died in the explosion, why didn't anyone look for her? were there no relatives or police or neighbors who cared? Wouldn't the crazy lady's house be the first place they searched?

Abby said...

I laughed so hard! AWESOME!!

Anonymous said...

I think this is an amazing idea for a video, you could maybe even do one for all the games!!!

Stripes said...

In this game, Nancy is in the Republic of Ireland, which is not part of the UK, and I thought she was 18, so she should be old enough to rent a car.

Why would Nancy want to go to an event with villians from previous games? Especially if she doesn't know Kyler that well.

baby bear said...

This is great. You should do one of these for all the nancy drew games. It's brilliant

SumoBro Gaming said...

Please do this!!!

Kevin Chittenden said...

I agree with everything except the laboratory sirens. Mat explains that every time the silo doors open up (when the banshee dropped him food) a siren would go off and all the tunnel doors would reset. This is supposedly what everyone heard above ground. So although we never SEE a siren, it is undoubtedly there.

Anonymous said...

i got a few: Near the end of the game if you go to Kyler, there is a conversation topic where Nancy can tell Kyler about how the "Banshee" is actually Fiona, but when you click on it, the game completely freezes. WHAT DOES SHE SAY?!?!

also, how do Bess and George know about the fortune telling machine when Nancy has never told them about it?

and finally, Seamus (the guy who serves the drinks) says when he takes orders, he draws pictures instead of writing out the names to save time. how is that faster? and the pictures are in color, so he'd have to carry around a box of colored pencils or crayons and keep switching between them. either his handwriting is incredibly unreadable, or he can draw impossibly fast.