Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Wedding Procession

I'm not good at wedding planning, mainly because I stop to question all the ridiculous traditions that people do. In my opinion, "you have to do it because it's tradition" is a bad reason for doing something.

That's causing tension between my parents and me.

Over Christmas break, both of my parents confronted me (separately) about the fact that Katie and I are going to walk down the aisle side-by-side. My parents don't like that, mainly because they've never heard of it before. So they're accusing me of being a weirdo / attention hog, and I need to not walk with Katie, because it's tradition.

It's funny, because the bride and groom going down the aisle side-by-side is a Catholic tradition. My parents are lifelong Catholics, and they've never heard of it before.

So on my side, I'm saying I want to walk down the aisle with Katie, because that's what is recommended in the rubrics, found in the Catholic Rite of Marriage. It's a Catholic tradition, stemming from the fact that the bride and groom are equals, entering into the sacrament together. They are part of the entrance procession, with the priest, because they bestow the sacrament of marriage upon each other. The two should not be separated, since marriage is a symbol of Christ's love for the Church; as Jesus said, "What God has joined together, let no one separate".

And on my parents' side, I should do something else because "it's tradition". They're mad at me, for not automatically accepting that as a convincing argument.

The good news is that my parents live in another state, so these fights are less frequent than they otherwise would be.


L said...

I keep seeing in your wedding posts that your parents want you to do this or that or they're mad at you for doing something different, and honestly? It's not their wedding. It's yours and Katie's. Your parents had their time, and now it's your time.

If you want to do a few of their requests, that's fine, but they shouldn't be confronting you over what you choose for your own day. If you want to walk down the aisle together, do it. It's special to you. If Katie wants chocolate at the reception, your mom wants fruit, and you don't care either way, go with Katie's choice.

I do understand about all this because my parents did the same thing to my husband and me when we were getting married. My mom tried to make it her perfect wedding day since she didn't feel that she got it when it was her time. So I get that it's hard to fight with your parents on this, but make sure you fight for the things you truly want.

Anonymous said...

When my husband & I got married very little of our wedding was about our choices. We were younger, in our early 20's, I think then you & Katie are though & our parents were paying for most of it.
The months planning it were stress filled & not enjoyable. The things we as a couple picked were the church, reception hall, our outfits, and cake. Our parents did the rest & it was a time of compromise.
It is hard, but try to get along & choose the big battles that are important to you guys.
I understand about the living out of state part. Sometimes not living near in laws is the best way to get along with them.

Anonymous said...

In my opinion, "you have to do it because it's tradition" is a bad reason for doing something.

It's only a bad reason if you don't want to be doing it in the first place, and the only reason you're doing it is because it's something society experts of you. But, newsflash, some people like the traditions. Some don't. I'm not planning on ever getting married, but I don't think it's cool to knock people for following "American tradition", when you're doing the same thing, only with Catholic traditions. Again, not a bad thing at all, because you want it this way, and that's all that matters.

Kasandra said...

We had our wedding here, the food was brought out at the right time, spaced out, and they never made us feel like they were rushing. Another plus is they didn't put the big plate of food in the middle table. We spend a lot of effort and money in the centerpiece so we didn't want the wedding location venue to move it half way through the party.