Here is Chapter 27 of my parody story, Nancy Drew: Worst of Blackmoor Manor. Today, Nancy talks with Linda for the final time.
Nancy dropped the Penvellyn meteorite on the bed. "Here."
"What is that?" Linda asked.
"The Penvellyn Family Treasure," Nancy said. "The source of all their evil powers, which has been protected for centuries."
"...It's a rock," Linda said.
"Exactly!" Nancy said. "I've been running around for three days, solving a ridiculous series of British puzzles, just to get a rock! So if you don't get out of bed this instant, I am going to scream."
"I can't be seen, Nancy. I've been cursed!"
"There's no curse, Linda! The Penvellyns don't have magic powers! All they have is a rock! And if you don't leave your bed right now, I'm throwing it at you."
"Okay, okay! I'm leaving!" Linda said. She pulled back the curtains and got out of bed.
"Thank you," Nancy said. "Oh, and by the way, Jane confessed to everything."
"The weird feelings you've been having? It's because Jane's been slipping Mrs. Drake's allergy pills into your food. I don't know how she did that, seeing as all the food here is made and delivered by the Boar's Head Pub, but whatever. She's lucky you didn't die from what you did."
"I've been getting allergy pills?" Linda asked. "I guess that would explain why my body feels off, but what about all the hair growing on my arms?"
"Jane put hair restorer in your hand lotion. She also put that curse in your room," Nancy said.
"Why?" Linda asked. "Why would Jane go to such great lengths to harm me?"
"She thinks you're a bad stepmother, and she wants to be with her real mom," Nancy said. "Also, I suspect that anyone who lives in the manor for a long period of time goes a little crazy. You should have seen some of the stuff they set up to protect their treasure."
Nigel poked his head through the door. "Did I hear someone mention treasure? Have you discovered the Penvellyn Family Secret? You must tell me, so I can put it in my book!"
"Sorry, Nigel," Nancy said. "It turns out that the Penvellyns are just puzzle-loving recluses. There's no such thing as magic."
Nancy then picked up her purse, which holds over 500 different items, and left the room.