Monday, February 24, 2014

Dating People of Different Ages

Q: Alright this is completely off subject, but I would really like to know your thoughts.  What do you think about a woman dating or marrying a younger man?  Ex. (the woman is three years older)



Anyone that would like to answer, please do, I'm up for anyone's thoughts on this, is it okay/normal or weird???


A: I am told that the rule is "four years". If the difference between the ages of a couple is over four years, then the relationship will not work.  However, I am also told this is not an official rule, but rather, it's something high school students made up so seniors could ask freshmen to Prom and not feel guilty.


Maybe some of you readers could share your thoughts in the comments.  My girlfriend and I are only six months apart, for what it's worth.

14 comments:

Annie gamerLoverz said...

I'm up to dating a guy that is 1 to 3 years older than me. I have dated a guy that is only 1 year older than me we broke up but i'm wtill very close to him.

Emily said...

I think maturity level is a lot more important than your actual age. You should be compatible and able to depend on your partner, and your partner should be able to expect the same of you. I think a lot of people say that people that have a huge age difference won't have a successful relationship because each will need different things based on where they are in life and that will cause stress, but if the maturity level is the same and each of the partners is at the same point in life then this is probably not going to be as much of a problem.

L said...

Different things work for different people. My parents are 10 years apart, with my mother being older than my father. My husband and I are six years apart, with him being older than me.
Age differences can be a factor in why certain relationships don't work out, but there is no hard and fast rule that says "If there's more than ___ year age difference, your relationship will automatically fail."
I know people with large age differences where it has worked and others where it hasn't. Same with small to no age differences.
I have noticed that age differences matter less as a person gets older. An 18-year-old and a 28-year-old may have a harder time than a 38-year-old and a 48-year-old. There is a vast difference in life experience with the first example as opposed to the second example.
Everything I've said is to apply to people 18 and over. It's a whole different ballpark with minors.

Adrianna said...

My parents are seven years apart and they have been married for 32 years and my grandmother is 11 years older than my grandfather and they are very happy.

So No I don't think it's weird at all.

bug2506 said...

Its not weird. My parents are 5 years apart and they have been married almost 30 years.

Cecilé said...

I agree with Emily's comment above. Age difference really shouldn't matter as long as you and your partner's priorities are similar in life. Take for example, a girl in her 20s meeting a guy in his 30s. She might want to continue having fun and enjoying herself without being tied down whereas the guy might wish to settle down and start a family. Since their priorites are clashing, their relationship is probably doomed to fail. If the girl however is mature for her age and probably also wants the same things in life like the guy, their relationship will probably turn out to be successful. To summarize, a successful relationship can be created between partners with shared interests irregardless of their age differences.
That being said, my parents have been married for close to 40 years with a 6 year age gap. So I don't think its considered weird. Personally, I wouldn't mind marrying a man with up to a 10 year age gap as long as we have some interests in common.

Anonymous said...

The older you get, the wider the "acceptable" gap gets. For example, it's weird and not encouraged for a 20-year-old to date a 15-year-old, but no one seems to care when a 45-year-old is with a 50-year-old.

Sparksbet said...

It definitely depends on how old the parties involved are. I've seen a really good "rule" for this that accounts for that.
The technical "rule" is that the youngest person someone can date must be at least as old as half that person's age plus seven. So if the older person is an 18-year-old, they could date anyone 16 or older; if the older person is a 28-year-old, they could date anyone 21 or older; and if they older person is a 38-year-old, they could date anyone 26 or older.

Anonymous said...

It completely depends on the maturity level between both the guy and the girl. Age is but a number, the love between the two is what matters most. If the love is unconditional and true, age does not matter.

Shainnen Somerville said...

Age is never really a thing to stress over, but a man usually matures much slower than a woman depending on the way they were raised. But in high school, it is always in the phase "OH MY GOSH, SHE'S DATING HIM?!" sort of thing, and I've never dated anyone that went to my high school when I was in high school awhile ago, because everyone will judge. I'm not saying to care about anyone's opinion, but why would someone want to deal with that? It's just horrible. Honestly, everyone should just be happy with whomever they're with, no matter what age they are, no matter what they look like, because pleasing people can only go so far in life. What's best for you is what matters :)

Nattles said...

Well, I do have a crush on a 26 year old at my college, but he looks about 20. He's 6 years older than me. I don't think its okay to date any older than 4 years because of the huge generation difference. We both grew up in different times, which would prevent us from understanding each other as well.

Anonymous said...

Thank you Michael, for answering my question, it helped me to see it better.

I really appreciate everyone that gave their thoughts.

Anonymous said...

My parents just happen to be 13 years apart in age. Seems odd, doesn't it? Well, they've been married for 23 years and are still going strong!

Donita said...

Michael you are a bit rule obsessed if you don't mind me saying - why would you want a rule for something like this? Frankly if you find someone to love who loves you back and you both make each other happy you should consider yourself lucky, not wonder if its 'wierd' on some arbitrary social or ideological scale. Watch Harold and Maude and give me your considered opinion.