Here's Chapter 2 of my parody story, Nancy Drew: Worst of Blackmoor Manor. Today, Nancy arrives at Blackmoor and meets Linda.
"Good night, Miss! And good luck!" the man said, as he kicked Nancy out of his taxicab. "Try not to get eaten by the Blackmoor Beast!"
"Blackmoor say what now?" Nancy asked, but it was too late. The man drove away at a surprisingly high speed. Nancy shrugged, picked up her luggage, then walked down the short lane to the manor's front door.
"Nancy..." a voice growled as she reached the door. Startled, Nancy turned around, but she saw nothing.
"Hello? Is someone there?" Nancy asked.
A pair of angry red eyes appeared in the bushes, accompanied by another growl. Nancy shrieked "It's the Hound of the Baskervilles!" and smashed the door handle multiple times.
An elderly British woman answered the door. "Yes?"
"There's a beast here which is going to eat me!" Nancy cried, pointing at the red eyes. But to her great astonishment, the eyes had disappeared, and she could see nothing but darkened bushes.
The woman scoffed. "Come in," she said impatiently. "I'm Mrs. Drake. I take it you are Nancy Drew?"
"That's my name, don't wear it out!" Nancy said, as she stepped inside with her luggage. "And I'm not making things up. I really did see something out there."
The woman scoffed again. "People are always seeing and hearing things on the moor at night. Especially you Americans. Why don't you go up to your room? It's the one with the moon on the door."
"I get my own room? Awesome!" Nancy said. "I mean, um, I'd like to see Linda, if I could."
"I'm afraid Linda is...not quite ready to meet with you just now. But please, come see me after you've unpacked. I'll be in the conservatory."
"All right. Thank you," Nancy said. She lugged her luggage upstairs to the Bridget Penvellyn room, then collapsed on the bed, exhausted. Naturally, after her 10+ hour flight, Nancy had a horrible case of jet lag, and over the Atlantic Ocean and—
Nancy sat up after twenty seconds. "Okay, I'm all better," she said. "Time to solve the mystery of why Linda is so grumpy!"
Nancy left her room and stumbled out into the hallway. Next to her room was a circular staircase. She put her foot on the bottom step, and the staircase made a loud "WHOOP!" sound.
Nancy jumped backwards and continued down the hallway. After taking a right at the creepy-looking gargoyle, she heard angry shouting coming from behind a door.
"Oh, forget it! Some husband you're turning out to be!" the voice said. Nancy used her amazing detective skills to determine that, since the speaker was a grumpy female with an American accent and a newlywed husband, it must be Linda. "No, it's not all in my head! Ugh, don't bother!"
There was nothing but silence after that. Nancy politely knocked on the door, then entered. The room was dark, besides for a small table with a light on it. This was next to a large bed, which had its curtains drawn.
"Whoever was inside the room just now has disappeared!" Nancy said aloud. "This could end up being a difficult mystery after all!"
"Well, well, well. If it isn't Nancy Drew, our friendly neighborhood detective," a familiar female voice said.
"Who said that?" Nancy said, whirling around. "Who are you? Where are you hiding?"
"It's me, Linda Penvellyn," Linda said. "The person you're here to, ahem, investigate? I'm in the bed."
"Oh," Nancy said. "I can't see you. Let me pull back the curtains, and—"
"Don't touch the curtains!" Linda snapped. "I don't want anyone to see me!"
"Why not?" Nancy asked. "Is something wrong?"
"Heh. Is something wrong with me? I'm tired all the time, my vision is blurry, but that's doesn't matter, Nancy. Here's what's important. There are some doors which must never be opened. There are some secrets which must never be learned. That's all—"
Someone from outside knocked on the door. "Mummy? Can I come in?" a girl's voice said.
"No, you're supposed to be in your lessons," Linda said.
"Lessons are over. I want to meet Nancy."
"I said NO, Jane."
"Okay," Jane said sadly. Nancy could hear her footsteps as she walked away.
"Was that Mrs. Drake?" Nancy wondered.
"That was my stepdaughter, Jane. She can be such a pest sometimes," Linda said. " Anyway, I understand if you feel an obligation to my mother, but trust me, there's nothing you can do. You can stay here as long as you like, but I strongly recommend leaving as soon as possible."
"I can't go home now," Nancy said. "I just arrived here in England! I want to meet Peter Pan before going back home. Do you know where he lives?
There was no response.
"Linda?" Nancy asked.
Again, Linda didn't say anything.
"Huh, guess she fell asleep. Maybe a nap will help improve her mood."