Friday, September 27, 2013

Baron Munchausen Meets Cleopatra

I know a little bit of Latin, although I pretend to know more than I actually do. When I mentioned my Latin studies to my friend Baron Munchausen, he said that he could have used my help a few months ago in Egypt, when he met Cleopatra!

He arrived in Egypt by means of a flying caravan wagon (long story). After landing, he came across a salesman who sounded suspiciously like Robin Williams. The salesman claimed that he had Aladdin's magical lamp and flying carpet, and he sold these to Baron Munchausen for a heavy price.

It turned out the salesman was a liar and a crook, because they were just a normal lamp and carpet. But when he rolled out the carpet, lo and behold!  Queen Cleopatra sprang out, having been trapped inside the carpet for years!  I suspect that this is the same carpet she used to first meet Julius Caesar, but I can't prove this without seeing the carpet for myself.

You are no doubt wondering how Cleopatra was alive after two thousands years.  Well, those of you who have read Romeo and Juliet will remember that Juliet took a magic potion, which made her seem dead for two days.  Apparently, Cleopatra tried to make this potion herself, but she made a mistake somewhere.  Instead of putting her to sleep for two days, it put her to sleep for two thousand years!

This magic potion also appears in Thomas Jefferson's Miracle-Free and Purely Scientific Bible. Jefferson claims that Jesus Christ must have visited the same apothecary as William Shakespeare, where they both got some of the magic potion.  Shakespeare used it in his play, while Jesus used it to take a long nap after being crucified.  Of course, this is an utterly ridiculous fictional tale, and Baron Munchausen refused to believe it.

Sadly, Baron Munchausen does not know any ancient languages, so he was unable to communicate much with Cleopatra.  After giving her a nice meal, he dropped her off close to her palace, where I understand she made quite a stir with the local residents.


Dante said...

Man, I must have been pretty stuffy (and really fuzzy) in that carpet for a thousand years!

Dante said...

Oops, I meant "it" not "I"

Suzanne Klare said...

The guy should write a book about it. That is an amazing story!