Saturday, September 21, 2013

Baron Munchausen Goes Hunting

I have not mentioned this before, but I am friends with Baron Munchausen, the famous German adventurer. I met with him recently, and I was lucky enough to hear the story of the first journey he ever took.  This happened when he was around thirteen or fourteen, and a relative took him to the island of Ceylon (what is today called "Sri Lanka").

The journey itself was rather smooth, except for one day, when they had to land on a nearby island, due to a horrendous storm. The storm was so bad that it tore up a number of trees from the roots.  The trees flew over five miles, up in the air!  As soon as the storm ended, though, the trees all fell back down to their original locations and took root again.

As you probably know, cucumbers grow on trees in that part of the world. An elderly couple was out picking cucumbers when the storm hit, and they were stuck on the branches the entire time.  Their extra weight caused the tree to tilt off-balance, and it ended up falling on top of the island's chief, killing him instantly.  Fortunately, the chief was a greedy tyrant who no one liked, and the natives were so happy to see him gone that they elected the cucumber-pickers to replace him.

But back to my good friend, Baron Munchausen. He landed at Ceylon after six weeks, and one day, he went hunting with one of the governor's brothers.  Munchausen fell behind the rest of the party, because he was tired, and he stopped to take a drink at a nearby stream.

This proved to be a mistake, because as soon as he turned around, he saw a large, angry lion approaching. There was no way Munchausen could fight the lion, because he only had a hunting knife and a gun filled with swan-shot. He turned around again, hoping to swim across the river to safety, only to find a large crocodile with its mouth wide open, ready to eat him. To the left was more of the river, and to the right was a large cliff with venomous snakes at the bottom.

Baron Munchausen is probably the bravest man I will ever meet, but he was still a young teenager at the time, so I suppose you cannot blame him for what he did in this terrible situation. He sat and cried, just as the lion and the crocodile attacked.

As it turned out, the lion was aiming for Munchausen's head. When he sat down quickly, it ruined the lion's pounce. The lion ended up jumping over Munchausen's head, and it fell directly into the crocodile's mouth.  Munchausen quickly pulled out his hunting knife and cut the lion's head off in one blow. Then he punched the head farther into the crocodile's mouth, which caused the crocodile to die from suffocation.

If you don't believe me, you can go to Amsterdam, where the crocodile's body is on display in a museum. If you ever go to see it, please don't talk to the museum curator there. Sadly, that man likes to make up stories to excite people, and his version of the crocodile's death is so ridiculous that some people end up doubting Baron Munchausen's real facts about the entire adventure. Poor Baron!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hee, hee, sounds like you have a knack for making friends!

Did you ever meet Cleopatra?
Neil Armstrong?
... *gasps* Nancy Drew???

William D said...

Holy Moly Michael that's amazing xD

William D said...

:P

GameOverTown said...

Michael met himself. That is awesome in itself.

William D said...

Also, Michael, Thank you So MUCH for addressing my problems with Captive Curse. Well, they are your problems too xD
I mean, come on, how did that dungeon have such intricate technology? That door lock was ridiculously advanced. And then a lever in the glass furnace? You don't put levers in furnaces that open dungeons! That's just weird for back then.
Why didn't Lucas stay with Nancy and wait for her to leave. I know he's a kid, but Come ON she just saved his life and -poof- he's gone!!!
Again like you already said, that bit with the culprit getting in and locking the door.
Now when Nancy escaped the pit, it never said it closed again. Also, why would the culprit leave his/her bags in the tunnel. If the culprit didn't want anyone to find their papers wouldn't they want to keep them at their home or something like?
Going further into your problem about the culprit not being able to get out. It's easy to assume that the culprit is the one dropping the pages. The culprit is the one trying to learn as much as they can about the "curse", so they would know how to get out of the pit, even IF the door DID close behind Nancy! The culprit TOTALLY had the ability to get out, like you said they, they wouldn't just wait around "Hum dee dum, just waiting to be taken to jail, who cares about escaping :D" It's like -shakes head sadly- this game was one of my favorite, storyline wise, but the ending just. -slams fist onto counter- o-e
Sorry about putting it here, but Dad refuses to let me use his YouTube account.

Anonymous said...

You two certainly have the love of tall tales in common ;)

Anonymous said...

This just reminds me of that old 70s Puff the Magic Dragon episode, 'Land of the Living Lies', where Baron Munchausen is a character. Great episode, which deals with a little girl who blames herself for her parents' divorce, and lies to everyone all the time as a way of coping with her guilt of what she thinks is the truth.