Friday, June 14, 2013

Disney Fights

Someone wants me to describe who would win, if various Disney characters fought each other.  The request was too weird for me to turn down, so here are my thoughts:

1. Timon VS Pumbaa. Pumbaa has an obvious advantage in size and strength, but Timon is too smart for him.  Timon can easily trick Pumbaa into doing whatever he asks; I have to imagine this will allow Timon to win the fight.

2. Clayton VS Gaston.  Gaston, hands down.  He is much better at fighting.  As a specimen, yes, he's intimidating.  Clayton might win in a hunting battle, depending on what sort of prey they're going after, but in a fist fight, Gaston would win.

3. Goofy VS Pluto.  Goofy has the obvious advantage in this dog fight, because he's bigger, smarter, and he can stand on his hind legs.  However, Pluto is more aggressive; I've seen him chase after cats, whereas Goofy is too good-natured to get into fights.  I think Goofy would come very close to winning, and at the last second, he'd do something stupid like trip over his shoelaces and fall down.  Pluto would then steal the victory.

4.  All Seven Dwarves.  Bashful is too afraid to fight, Sneezy is a breeze, Sleepy would fall asleep, and Doc and Happy are too nice to fight very well.  That leaves Grumpy and Dopey.  Grumpy is very mean, and he could win if he uses his pent-up aggression to his advantage.  Dopey also seems like a strong contender, because he has a lot of energy and isn't easy to stop.

5.  The Disney Princesses.  I'd have to pick Mulan, who is the only trained warrior in the bunch.  She managed to defeat the Hun army, almost by herself!  Merida would probably be Mulan's biggest threat, but Merida's only real weapon is the bow and arrow.  Mulan knows how to defend against arrows--she does so at the start of the battle against the Huns--so I think she could successfully defeat Merida.


Anonymous said...

You've used logic in these arguments and I'm sold!

Anonymous said...

yes but I bet Mulan wouldn't anticipate Rapunzel's remarkably effective frying pan attack.

Anonymous said...

What do you think of nancy drew the silent spy? Also I posted two nancy drew and ace attorney crossovers on

Anonymous said...

You should do this for video games!

Suzanne Klare said...

Ace Attorney characters! Phoenix vs Edgeworth (in a steel samurai fight), Ema Skye vs Maya Fey (science vs spirit mediums), Kristoph Gavin vs Klavier Gavin (rock vs evil), Gumshoe vs Kay (who's the best Edgey assistant?), and so on.