Friday, May 10, 2013

More on Soulmates

Judging from the response I got, a lot of you readers think soulmates exist.  I was not expecting that, to be honest.  I believe there can be two people who, based on their personalities and life experiences, would make a good romantic couple.  But I do not believe there can be two people who are fated or destined to be a romantic couple, based on the condition of their souls.

I have three main problems with soulmate theory.  I believe that it represents a flawed notion of souls, romance and fate.  That, and it's kind of silly to think that the cosmic forces behind soulmates--who allegedly control the entire universe--have nothing better to do than play matchmaker.

1. Soulmate theory demonstrates an incorrect understanding of what souls are, and how they work.  According to soulmate theory, your soul is incomplete until you meet your soulmate, at which point the two souls are joined and completed.

This is wrong.  People are born with complete souls.  A person's soul can be in very, very bad shape, but it is never missing parts, or lacking pieces.  Furthermore, it is incorrect to say that two people can have their souls join together, when they first meet.  Soul-binding events are not that casual.  In fact, in the Catholic Church, the only thing which can permanently and irreversibly join two souls together is the sacrament of marriage.

2. The idea of soulmates represents a flawed notion of romance.  You might have heard the phrase "opposites attract".  Soulmate theory follows this rule; in order for two people to be soulmates, they must be as different from each other as possible.  That way, each soulmate has what the other soulmate is lacking.

I believe this is false.  Two people who are polar opposites do not make a good romantic couple.  In fact, shared interests are a necessary part of a good relationship.

Some readers also mentioned same-sex couples.  If you follow the idea that soulmates must be as different from each other as possible, it is impossible for same-sex couples to be soulmates.  Many people dislike this particular aspect of soulmate theory.

3. I believe soulmate theory has an incorrect understanding of fate, but I don't think I can discuss this in detail without going way off-topic. Let's just say that, if two people are in a relationship because of fate, that undermines the entire relationship.  Relationships built on love are far superior to relationships built on fate.


Those are some of the reasons why I do not believe in soulmate theory.  I believe in a lesser version of soulmate theory: the idea that two people can make a good romantic couple, based on their personalities and other factors.  That's certainly true.  But to say that these two people are fated to be together, because their souls are opposites?  No.  That is untrue.


Suzanne Klare said...

About the second point, I don't agree. You need to have some interests that are different, so you can discuss things with each other. But you need the same interests, too, because otherwise, people fight all the time.

Miss. Cellaneous said...

So, you don't believe that the plans God has for each of his children include their spouse? I believe this, and so, in this way, you ARE destined to meet the person you fall in love with and marry

Anonymous said...

Cellaneous, how do you explain divorce, then?

Anonymous said...

Michael, I just want to go and give you a big hug right now and also an appaluse and demand an encore!!!:):):):):) I am cheering you on, because you are speaking up for the Catholic Church and God against the world. It goes like this: Go, Michael, go and speak on, brother!!! I bet God is beaming and pleased right now at all the truth that you are saying. God Bless you!!!:)

attracting a soulmate said...

The world we live in has a strong focus on couples and romance.but take heart, making some easy changes in the way you go about manifesting a soul mate will certainly yield the outcome you desire