Thursday, November 29, 2012

A Christmas Story 2

I just watched the 2012 movie A Christmas Story 2.  It's pretty bad.  Here are my live tweets about the movie, with some extra commentary, just for you guys.
  • Dear gosh, Ralphie is hideous. No, seriously, his hair was dyed this horrible blonde color, to match the kid from the original movie. It wasn't pretty.
  • Ralphie's fatal flaw is revealed: he does not know how to exit from a car, without getting trapped. His pant leg accidentally got caught on the stick-shift, and so he had to remove his pants before he could leave. Dude, using a car door is NOT that difficult.
  • Ralphie ends up breaking the car, so he and his friends have to get jobs to pay for it.  During the montage of them horrendeously failing at their jobs, Ralphie gets his perv on with a lingerie mannequin. His hand somehow gets stuck on the inside of the manneqin's bra, and no matter how hard he pulls, he can't escape. Of course, a large crowd gathers to watch.
  • The next day, Ralphie's friend attempts to French kiss a messenger tube. His mouth and tongue get stuck inside. Whoever wrote this movie must be a pervert.
  • Ralphie got in a bell-ringing competition with the Salvation Army Guy. That was an amusing showdown.  There was also a fight between Ralphie and his friends (dressed as Santa's elves), complete with commentary from grumpy Santa.  That was less amusing.
  • I liked the part of the movie which should have been the ending.  The movie went on for about ten minutes after that, and I got increasingly grumpier as it kept going on.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

In fairness, the guy who made the first movie was only able to bank roll the project because he was a porn director and he used the money from his porn movies to make A Christmas Story. So, it's possible that's where the all the smut came from in the second movie.

Diana said...

@Anonymous
Who?
Where did you get that information?

Anonymous said...

@Diana

Bob Clark. He made A Christmas Story, but before that, he made several, I guess, raunchy films (including a few slasher films.) Maybe porn is a stretch, but he made a movie called Porky, which, while it doesn’t fit the classical definition of a pornographic film, is still a really raunchy, teen sex film (think American Pie, but worse in my opinion.) If this will tell you anything, the shock jock Howard Stern wants to remake the film.

The boy who played Ralphie’s friend though, the one who got his tongue stuck to the pole, did go on to become a pornographic actor though.

If you wanted, I could find the link with the information for you.