But how can I find a potential date candidate? I don't have a little red book with girls' phone numbers, and there's no way I'm going to set up an eHarmony profile.
Oh, yeah! Facebook has a list of every girl I know! All I have to do is check my friends list, and analyze the results!
|The Girls Michael Knows (According to Facebook)|
|People Who Aren't Real||30|
|People Who Are Already in a Relationship||25|
|People I Have Not Met in Real Life||37|
|People It Would Be Unwise to Date||17|
The non-real people are cartoon characters and other profiles like that. Apparently, fictional characters make up a great number of my acquaintances.
I think this chart actually shows some maturity, on my part. I have acknowledged that there are girls whom I should not date. College Michael had no idea that this category of females existed. He didn't get any dates, either, but he wasn't as quick as I am to rule someone out as a potential girlfriend.
Anyway, now that I'm doing the math...it seems that only 6% of my Facebook friends are eligible bachelorettes? Really? Ugh, forget dating, then. I think I'll go back to playing videogames.