Friday, February 10, 2012

Cooking Chicken Burritos

Everyone seems to want me to try cooking chicken tacos, so yesterday, I decided to make some for dinner.

I wrote down the ingredients of the recipe, and I went through the fridge and made a list of all the foods I needed.  After a brief moment of bewailing the fact that I have now become my list-obsessed mother, I went to the grocery store.  As usual, the grocery store was an adventure.  The adventures include:

  • Going through the entire store twice, looking for the non-existent pretzels aisle
  • Learning that you can buy pre-shredded cheese
  • Looking for the right kind of juice (namely, the kind that my roommates won't drink)
  • Being confused at the fact that there is more than one type of chicken.  I decided to get the boneless, skinless chicken, because it was on sale.

I went back home and started the cooking.  Fortunately, I was smart enough to remember that you leave the chicken out for an hour ahead of time, so it can defrost.  Unfortunately, nobody told me that when chicken defrosts, it leaks some kind of nasty, watery chicken goo.  Ew.

Step One in the recipe says to shred the chicken.  I had no idea how to do this.  I don't have a shredder in my kitchen.  Am I supposed to use the cheese grater or something?  I decided to settle for taking one of the four chicken pieces and cutting it into smaller pieces.  It was pretty gross, cutting up a slimy chicken thing covered with that chicken goo.

Step Two is to heat the chicken in a skillet, which I believe is a fancy type of frying pan.  I used the frying pan, and I made sure to spray it with the fancy spray can first.  Then, I put the chicken in the skillet and let it heat.  So far, so good.

Step Three is to make chopped avocadoes.  I had no idea what to do.  I tried cutting it with a knife, but it turns out the insides of avocadoes are gooey.  So I ended up having to get my hands covered in green junk, as I peeled the avocado, then cut it into pieces.

I think I was supposed to make guacamole from the avocado, but I didn't know how.  I tried mashing the avocado chunks together with a spoon, but that didn't work.  It just gave me messy avocado chunks.  Where's a mallet when you need one?

Step Four is to call Mom and ask her what to do next.

Step Five was to take a taco shell--I used a tortilla--and put the cooked chicken on it.  Sprinkle it with cheese and avocado, then heat it in the microwave to get the cheese to melt.  Presto, the burrito is finished!

I had enough chicken for two burritos, and they tasted...not bad!  The avocado didn't taste good, but if you pretended it wasn't there, then you had a decent burrito.

Michael: 1
Cookbook: 0

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

lol :D

Bekah said...

Ahh I can't stop giggling. You're supposed to boil the chicken before shredding it, which you can easily do with a fork or just your fingers. The image of you trying to shred raw chicken...

A skillet is just another name for a frying pan.

It'd be better to first cut the avacado in half, take out the pit, then spoon out the avacado. You tried to peel it? Oh, my, Michael, oh my...

Anyway, you made me laugh. I kind of don't want you to learn how to cook because then you won't write hilarious posts like these.

Herbert said...

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

In our family, we usually fill a sink full of lukewarm water, and then put the chicken, with packaging and all still on, into the lukewarm water where then it'll thaw in peace. :D

And then for avocadoes, we usually cut them like so:

From the top, to the bottom, across the bottom, and up the back, and up to the top again, and you've just made a circle dividing the advocado into two halves. :)

Take the two halves, and give them a twist. It'll come apart, and one half will have the pit. Pry it out with a knife, then it's really easy from there. :D Place the two halves face down, and then cut them into fourths, eighths, and then it's safe to peel them.

If you are going to make guacamole, you'll need a potato masher.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potato_masher

I suppose you could think of some other way to do it, but potato mashers are life savers. :D

Herbert said...

By peel, I mean just taking one end of the skin, and pulling it off. You won't need any utensils whatsoever to do that. :D And Bekah's method is really good. :D That's what we do when we make guacamole. :D

Miriam said...

I wish you'd recorded this and posted the raw (no pun intended) footage for us to watch, haha. :) I feel like this would just be fun to watch, even without commentary or editing or anything.

Moriah said...

Yeah Micheal you're supposed to cut the avacado in half not spoon it out lol. But I still like your blogs ^^

Justice said...

Oh, Michael...:D

I guess I can't justifiably laugh at you too much, 'cause I'm no master chef myself, but this...I think I almost have to agree with Bekah about 'not wanting you to learn how to cook'. :D

On the other hand, seeing how knowledgeable some of the people leaving commenting on this subject seem to be, it could be an interesting thing to see you progressively improve as your reports and their suggestions get bounced back and forth... :)

Lily said...

Congradulations Mike, but I still want to know what "Savory Rat Trap" is.

Anonymous said...

The reason the chicken is skinless is because it had cancer, and the farmers hate wasting such a good chicken, so they figure that by getting rid of all the apparently affected areas by the cancer, gets rid of the cancer itself. Trust me on this, I got this from one of my friends who DOES work in the packaging areas of this type of facility!

Just by the bone and skin chicken, it's not that hard to separate it all from the meat, and is much healthier.

Balin said...

I lost it at the "pretzels aisle."

Cici said...

Try this:
1) Buy a chuck roast (3 lbs or so)
2) One can of tomato soup.
3) One can of Golden Mushroom soup.
4) One packet of onion soup mix.
5) One bag of baby carrots.
Put it all in a crockpot in this order...carrots, roast, everything else plus a cup of water>
Cook on low 8 to 10 hours.
Thats it!!! super yummy!

lol said...

Wow. Have you ever cooked in your life XD