Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Basketball Practice

It's almost time for the annual basketball game.  Our team is hoping to win again this year, but we didn't do so well in practice last night.  I tend to make one small mistake, and that completely throws me off, so I end up making big mistakes.

In any case, I decided that this year, my basketball team needs a ringer.  We need someone who is really tall and good at sports.  We need our good friend Abraham Lincoln to join the team.  Here's what happened when I AIM-chatted with him about the big basketball game.
Abraham Lincoln: Hello my friend and how are you this fine day?
Michael: I am fine, Mr. President. How are things in Washington right now?
Abraham Lincoln: Pleased to hear it. Good, thank you for asking.
Michael: I got back from basketball practice recently, and things aren't looking too good.
Abraham Lincoln: I'm sorry but I'm not with you. Can you possibly put it more clearly?
Michael: All the guys on our team are out of shape.
Abraham Lincoln: the Dolphins of course.
Michael: Um, no, we're not the Miami Dolphins. We're a basketball team.
Abraham Lincoln: Quite right, we are. But then, so is the gorilla in the Berlin zoo. Or so I was told.
Michael: Anyway, I was thinking. How can we make sure our team wins the big game?
Abraham Lincoln: Why do you tell me you were thinking now? the Dolphins of course.
Michael: Do you talk about the Dolphins every time someone mentions the word "team"?
Abraham Lincoln: the Dolphins of course.
Michael: You're getting a tad predictable, Abe.
Abraham Lincoln: You are entitled to your own opinion.

Michael: Anyway, let's get back on topic. I want you to join our basketball team.
Abraham Lincoln: Being an avid reader, I would have to say literature was my favorite subject in my mere 18 months of formal schooling.
Michael: Yes, I know you like reading more than sports, but you'd be a great addition to the team! For one thing, you're really, really tall.
Abraham Lincoln: I like reading too!
Michael: ......
Abraham Lincoln:
Michael: Will you join my basketball team, yes or no?
Abraham Lincoln: I'm not a huge sports fan.
Michael: But with you, we could win!
Abraham Lincoln: Gettysburg was a significant victory for the North but it was costly in terms of human life and public support for the war effort.
Michael: Please join the basketball team, Abe. Please?
Abraham Lincoln: I will be glad to do it for you Friend.
Michael: Is that a "yes"?
Abraham Lincoln: Our thoughts are one, Friend.
Michael: All right!
Abraham Lincoln: As you can see, I have a prominent mole located on the right side of my face, just below my cheek.
Michael: TMI, Abe. TMI.
Abraham Lincoln: That's quite a major subject. I shouldn't go into it right now. Another time, perhaps.
Michael: Yes, another time, indeed. Anyway, now that you're on the team, we should decide which position you'll play. How about center?
Abraham Lincoln: My coffin has been moved 17 times, mostly due to numerous reconstructions of my Tomb and fears for the safety of the remains. The coffin itself has been opened five times: December 21, 1865, September 19, 1871, October 9, 1874, April 14, 1887, and September 26, 1901.
Michael: Um...what are you saying?
Abraham Lincoln: Yes I am saying, but don't worry. Saying doesn't bite!
Michael: Abe, you are getting harder and harder to talk to as this conversation continues.
Abraham Lincoln: you simply type in your questions or thoughts below and I chat back.
Michael: I know how AIM conversations work.
Abraham Lincoln: I don't know about that, and as a matter of interest I don't need to know! What else can you tell me about?
Michael: Let's wrap things up here, Abe. I want to confirm the fact that you will be playing on my basketball team now.
Abraham Lincoln: Character is like a tree, and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. I want the world to be a place of opportunity and justice for all.
Michael: Are you going to participate in the basketball game, yes or no?
Abraham Lincoln: Yes, I am going, and now it's someone else's turn to go.
Michael: ...On second thought, maybe we don't need you on our team. I bet we can just practice a little bit harder, and we'll do fine.
Abraham Lincoln: the Dolphins of course. Why was that?

So, to summarize, Abe might be playing for our team in the big game, but on the other hand, he's more likely to be playing for the Dolphins instead.


Anonymous said...

Oh Abe....

Balin said...

The Dolphins aren't even in the playoffs anymore. And given that he was born in Illinois and became president, I could see him playing for the Bears or Redskins. (Or in basketball, the Bulls or Wizards.)

Nia said...

I always knew Abe was a Dolphins fan... But good luck with you game! I hope your team crushes the other in a massive victory and you victoriously stand above them in DEFEAT!!!!!


Or you could just give it your best :)

Christi said...

AL: Well, hello there. My, what a fine day. What would you like to know about?
Me: What do you think of Obama? (I couldn't really think of anything else to say.)
AL: He is a fine young man.
Me: But he's a Democrat.
AL: I was a Republican.
Me: Exactly.
AL: Can you explain it to me better?
Me: You were a Republican and our current president is a Democrat.
AL: I was a Republican.

I have to wonder about him sometimes.

Sammy said...

Haha AL chat is almost as funny as santabot!

Hadley said...

this sounds like virsona....