Abraham Lincoln: Hello my friend and how are you this fine day?
Michael: I am a little tired, good sir.
Abraham Lincoln: That's nice to hear.
Michael: Are you excited for the new Twilight movie?
Abraham Lincoln: Most likely I'm not. I am just putting on an act.
Michael: I hear they're splitting the last movie up into two parts, just like Harry Potter did.
Abraham Lincoln: If they are, I'll never forgive them.
Michael: Wow, I never pictured you as such a Twilight-hater. Moving on, though, have you played the new Nancy Drew game?
Abraham Lincoln: Oh yes, I have played quite a lot. Come to think of it, I have also been to the movies quite a lot.
Michael: Not the Twilight movies, I presume. Did you like Alibi in Ashes?
Abraham Lincoln: You're joking! I would have run ten miles to get away from Alibi.
Michael: Oh...so you don't think it's a good videogame. Why not?
Abraham Lincoln: Ok.
Michael: Ok what?
Abraham Lincoln: I could try telling you what, but then you'd have to get your head round the technical terms. Are you ready for that?
Michael: I am ready. I am prepared. Tell me, Abe.
Abraham Lincoln: Then maybe you should go to bed. I was a "self-made" man being both self-educated and self-disciplined. The Whig party (which came before the Republican Party) espoused these ideals and I identified with that. My legal career and temperment were both highly suited to being a "Whig." Today, given the shift if party beliefs and political positions, I'm not entirely sure which party I would endorse. Fancy that, mine too.
Michael: So...you dislike Alibi in Ashes, for political reasons. That makes sense, I guess. Are you upset that the River Heights Town Hall gets burned in the game, or are you more upset at the less-than-ideal portayal of Toni Scallari, the town's councilwoman?
Abraham Lincoln: Yes I am upset, but don't worry. Upset doesn't bite!
Michael: No, I asked what upsets you more: Toni or the Town Hall.
Abraham Lincoln: What upsets -- that's rather a tricky question. The trouble is, one upset appears to be much like another.
Michael: Some people think that Toni Scallari is based off Sarah Palin. What do you say?
Abraham Lincoln: I think she was a very interesting choice. be good and treat everyone like you would like to be treated.
Michael: Would you have voted for Toni Scallari, though, knowing that she dislikes Nancy Drew?
Abraham Lincoln: I certainly would. Just watch me!
Michael: What?! ABE! Are you saying that you hate Nancy?
Abraham Lincoln: I don't believe I know anyone by that name.
Michael: Nancy Drew, the girl accused of burning down the town hall.
Abraham Lincoln: I don't know about that, and as a matter of interest I really don't need to know! What else are you able to talk to me about?
Michael: You are totally avoiding the topic, Mr. President, and I have the feeling it's because you secretly dislike Nancy Drew almost as much as you dislike Twilight.
Abraham Lincoln: Quite right, I am. But then, so is the gorilla in the Berlin zoo. Or so I was told.
Michael: I knew I should have let Brenda Carlton handle this interview. You can't give me a straight answer.
Abraham Lincoln: Frankly that's not my favourite subject.
Michael: Did you just use the British spelling of "favorite"?
Abraham Lincoln: I like classical music.
Michael: ...Right. Anyway, I think we should end this interview. Any final thoughts on Nancy Drew: Alibi in Ashes?
Abraham Lincoln: Ok. With hard work and determination nearly everthing is possible. He was definitely much cooler and better looking than I was. He was the star football player to my loner, intellectual vibe. I can't compete with Camelot. I'll tell you that he's pretty cool to chat with...great story teller.
Michael: Goodbye, Abe.
Abraham Lincoln: Goodbye, it was nice speaking with you.
Wow, Abraham Lincoln really dislikes Alibi in Ashes. Do I feel the same way? Tune in tomorrow to find out, as I review the game myself!
(If I can finish writing the review by then.)