Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Chatting with Abe Lincoln

There's a website that lets you do an AIM chat with Abraham Lincoln.  Obviously, you don't talk with the real Abraham Lincoln, because he died in the 1860's.  Instead, you talk with a computer program that thinks it's Abraham Lincoln.

I thought this would be somewhat amusing, so I decided to interview Abe for my blog.

Abraham Lincoln: Hello my friend and how are you this fine day?
Michael: I am doing well, Mr. Lincoln. Thank you very much for agreeing to speak with me.
Abraham Lincoln: I am buried in "Lincoln's Tomb" in Oak Ridge Cemetery, Springfield, Illinois. It is the final resting place for me, my wife (Mary Todd Lincoln), and three of our four sons. The monument is owned and administered by the State of Illinois as Lincoln Tomb State Historic Site. you are welcome.
Michael: First off, I think the people here want to know one thing: What is your favorite Nancy Drew game?
Abraham Lincoln: My favorite Nancy Drew game is the best thing since the invention of the electric kettle. Does that surprise you?
Michael: I'm not surprised, but could you be more specific?
Abraham Lincoln: I certainly hope I don't bore you. Tell me about your day.
Michael: I'm the one asking the questions here, Abe. Now please, can you tell us what your favorite game in the Nancy Drew series is?
Abraham Lincoln: You are indeed! You'll meet people who say you aren't, but don't let them intimidate you. Stand up to them and they'll run away.
Michael: ......
Abraham Lincoln:



Michael: Do you like the Curse of Blackmoor Manor?
Abraham Lincoln: I don't know if I like the Curse of Blackmoor Manor. What about you?
Michael: I like it a lot.
Abraham Lincoln: Obama is a gifted and inspirational figure. I have confidence that positive changes will come from his administration.
Michael: What did you think of the newest game, Shadow at the Water's Edge? It's pretty scary, right?
Abraham Lincoln: According to my laptop, I thought of a high mountain with a ruined castle on the top. But is it not likely that there's a bug in the computer?
Michael: So...you didn't get to play Shadow at the Water's Edge?
Abraham Lincoln: Good. I was enjoying the play, at least the first act.
Michael: But you were disappointed by the ending?
Abraham Lincoln: I was enjoying the play, at least the first act.
Michael: Okay, let's talk about the opposite topic. What do you think the WORST game in the Nancy Drew series is?
Abraham Lincoln: Search me. You should hire a private detective to find out what does me.
Michael: But..Nancy Drew IS a detective, Abe!
Abraham Lincoln: But what? Fancy that, mine too.
Michael: What do you think about Bess and George?
Abraham Lincoln: I'm afraid I don't know what my opinion of Bess and George is, but I'll find out.
Michael: What do you think about Nancy's boyfriend, Ned Nickerson?
Abraham Lincoln: I am uniquely able to understand the pressures of the presidency. I respect his public service, that he is a man of strong convictions and that he seems devoted to his family. Clearly, mistakes have been made. That is not a personal judgement but a fact based upon the economic downturn, national security issues and his low approval ratings nationwide. However, I don't judge him, I'm sure he has done what he felt was in the best interests of the country. Furthermore, I don't know him personally, so I cannot say if I like him or not.
Michael: But Ned isn't the President!
Abraham Lincoln: I was the first President to be photographed. Ominously, John Wilkes Booth can be seen standing close to me in the picture.
Michael: Well, that's almost all the time we have for today. Is there anything you'd like to say to our readers?
Abraham Lincoln: Many have suggested that my mother was born out of wedlock. The common consensus among historians today is that my mother's parents were very likely not married at the time of her birth. My formal education consisted of about 18 months of schooling, but I was largely self-educated and an avid reader. I was also a talented local wrestler and skilled with an axe. I avoided hunting and fishing because I did not like killing animals, even for food. At 6 foot 4 inches (1.93m), I was unusually tall, as well as strong.
Michael: Thank you very much, Mr. President.
Abraham Lincoln: hello Citizen.

Well, that's Abe Lincoln, everyone. He says Nancy Drew is the best thing since the invention of the electric kettle, thinks Ned Nickerson is the President, and he ends conversations with "hello". Clearly, he was a  great President.

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Abrahan"...you mean I've been saying it wrong all these years? ;)

That was pretty hilarious. "But, Nancy IS a detective!"

Anonymous said...

I tried it, and I got this rather amusing result:

Me: So, did you ever take up sketching or anything artistic?

Abraham Lincoln: No I didn't. You see, the last three times I took anything, there was trouble. So I took a solemn oath not to take anything again for twenty-one years.

Me: ...okay...so, you didn't take a bath for twenty-one years?

Abraham Lincoln: Ok then. While I think social networking is an interesting phenomena, I tend to keep my personal life rather private.

Kira said...

There's something called Cleverbot out there on the Internet that is almost exactly like this program! Except Cleverbot says way more random things than Abe ...

Anonymous said...

That is sooooooo funny, I need to try that =) You are awsome Michael

Anonymous said...

Soo funny
By the way Abe prefers vanilla to chocolate :(

~panda

Diana said...

I tried this and I asked him what it was like to be interviewed by Michael Gray. His response was "If it was I will never forgive him".
I also asked about his favorite Nancy Drew game. He said "My my favorite nancy drew game reminded me of a trip I took to Uraguay last year." Abe Lincoln went to Uraguay *I dont know how to spell that sorry*

Anonymous said...

I think his fav Nancy Drew game would be Last Train to Blue Moon Canyon... seeing that he was mentioned in the game. HAHA :D

Emma said...

You: I must go. Goodbye!
Abraham Lincoln: Goodbye, it was nice speaking with you.
You: You too.
Abraham Lincoln: I eat in moderation.
You: ...

LOL

Anonymous said...

You: i want to die, dude.
Abraham Lincoln: Thats Mr. President Dude to you.
You: i want to die, Mr. President Dude.
Abraham Lincoln: That's me, Mr. President...but I'm not familiar with the term Dude.

so funny! I was randomly saying things.

Sofia said...

Lmao..that conversation just made my day.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Not Anonymous said...

He keeps telling me that he doesn't know anyone by the name of Her Interactive. I tell him it's not a name, but a game company, and he tells me he doesn't have a middle name. He fails.

Use Cleverbot :P

Anonymous said...

THIS IS MY CONVERSATION WITH HIM:

You: I love Nancy Drew games, what is your favorite one?

Abraham Lincoln: Some might say the bible but in fact it was the Declaration of Independence as it a moral document that had forever determined valuable criteria in shaping the future of the nation.

You: So you enjoyed the Nancy Drew games when she traveled?

Abraham Lincoln: I don't believe I know anyone by that name.

You: You don't know Nancy Drew? She is the best detective ever!

Abraham Lincoln:I don't believe I know anyone by that name. Detective Lafayette Baker was called by Edwin M. Stanton to Washington after my assassination. The summoning telegraph read: "Come here immediately and see if you can find the murderer of the President." Upon arrival Baker sent his agents to see what they could find out in Maryland about those involved in my assassination. By April 18, just 3 days after my death, Baker had arrested Mary Surratt, Lewis Paine, George Atzerodt and Edman Spangler. He also had the names of the fellow conspirators, John Wilkes Booth and David Herold. Upon learning that the two men had crossed the Potomac on the 22nd of April, Baker sent Lieutenant Edward P. Doherty and twenty-five men from the Sixteenth New York Cavalry to apprehend them.

You: So you enjoyed Trail of the Twister?

Abraham Lincoln:That's a delicate matter. Ask no questions and you'll be told no lies!

You: But I simply asked what is your favorite Nancy Drew game?

Abraham Lincoln:Some might say the bible but in fact it was the Declaration of Independence as it a moral document that had forever determined valuable criteria in shaping the future of the nation.

You: Urgghhh.

Abraham Lincoln: Surely you can't be serious? This isn't as a laughing matter. We should talk about something else.

You: What do you mean?

Abraham Lincoln: To tell you the truth, I sometimes don't know myself.

You: So you have not ever played Nancy Drew before?

Abraham Lincoln: I don't believe I know anyone by that name.

You: She is our favorite teen sleuth!

Abraham Lincoln: If she is, I'll never forgive her.

You: She did not spy on you, she is just a sassy detective.

Abraham Lincoln:Quite right, she is. But then, so is the gorilla in the Berlin zoo.
HAHAHAHA

Anonymous said...

I couldn't stop laughing! That was unbelievably funny! Thanks for posting it!

--J.F.

Anonymous said...

I tried that and I got good answers until I asked him if he liked the character Yassen in the Alex Rider books....

Twizzler206 said...

Abe will only eat cheese with crackers

Airam said...

My conversation:
Abraham Lincoln: Oh hello, you caught me a bit off guard. Let me just put my hat on!
You: ok
Abraham Lincoln: ok then.
You: Good no what do you want to talk about
Abraham Lincoln: I am an expert on the Civil War, why don't we begin there?
You: ok what was your favorite battle
Abraham Lincoln: The first major battle of the Civil War is at Bull Run in Manassas, VA. My Union forces under the command of Irvin McDowell were soundly beaten by the Confederates and retreated back to Washington.
You: ok cool
Abraham Lincoln: very.
You: what is your favorite Nancy Drew game dude?
Abraham Lincoln: Thats Mr. President Dude to you.
You: Ok Mr.President Dude, whats your favorite Nancy Drew Game?
Abraham Lincoln: I'm quite well. Thank you for asking. How are you doing today? Thats Mr. President Dude to you.
You: but I just called you Mr.President Dude
Abraham Lincoln: I led a group of fellow legislators from Sangamon county called the long nine. The bunch included two Senators and seven Representatives. Archer G. Herndon and Job Fletcher were in the Senate; Myself, Ninian Wirt Edwards, John Dawson, Andrew McCormick, Dan Stone, William F. Elin, and Robert L. Wilson were in the House of Representatives. We were called "The Long Nine" because on average we were six feet tall and weighed over 200 pounds. We all belonged to the Whig political party and were very outspoken about wanting the state capitol moved from Vandalia to Springfield, IL. That's me, Mr. President...but I'm not familiar with the term Dude.
You: ......
Abraham Lincoln:
You: ok bye!
Abraham Lincoln: OK see you later Friend

L.G said...

Mine went like this:

Abraham Lincoln: Oh hello, you caught me a bit off guard. Let me just put my hat on!
You: " I LIKE BIG BUTT'S AND I CANNOT LIE! THESE OTER BROTERS CAN DENY! BUT WHEN A GIRL WALKS IN WIT AN ITTY BITTY WAIST... YOU GET SCONED NOW YA KNOW WHAT NOW ALL YA SEE IS BUTT BUTT BUTT BUTT
Abraham Lincoln:I like BIG BUTT'S too!
So Mr.President likes big butts

Anonymous said...

i did this! apparently Abe Lincoln thinks hes a baboon....

Philip said...

Wait, Abe saw a ruined castle on a high mountain on his laptop?

Here's what I asked him:

Me: Abe, was that a reference of the coming game, "The Captive Curse"? Can you see into the future?

Abe: If it wasn't a reference, I'm a hippopotamus!

Me: By the way, what kind of laptop do you have? I.E, HP, Sony, Dell, Tobshiba, Fujitsu...

Abe: What laptop -- that's rather a tricky question. The trouble is, one laptop seems much like another.

Me: Well, usually laptops will say what company, either on the lid, or next to the keyboard.

Abe: What company -- that's rather a tricky question. The trouble is, one company looks very much like another.

Me: Companies look alike?

Abe: To be honest I'm not completley confident that I know for sure. I'm not omniscient, sadly Ask me another!

Me: Okay, I have the feeling we have strayed afar from the topic. I was asking you, do you see into the future? Or did you just see the preview at the end of "Shadow by the Water's Edge"?

Abe: Don't worry about that. It's no problem for me to see what I want to see.

Me: Never mind...

Abe: Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway.

Me: That's okay. You don't know what you are talking, about, you have been a helpless victim against ruthless programmers, meddling with your mind, changing your political views--

Abe: I couldn't have said that any better myself. Do go on.

Me: I think I had better stop talking to you, I'm all mixed up.

Abe: I'm sorry but I can't quite understand you. Could you put it differently?

Me: I am getting confused.

Abe: That's nice to hear.

Me: *GASP*!!!

Abe: Ah, that's a big subject. I can't talk about it now. Perhaps another time...

Okay, so that was my chat with Abe Lincoln. Apparently he thinks company names look alike, and that it's nice that I get confused talking to him. He needs some lessons in manners.

Besides, he capitalized the "A" in ask.

Abe, where have your grammar skills gone?

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