Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Cell Phone Mania

In my last blog post about awkward cell phone moments, I forgot to mention something that's happened to me a few times.

I'll be walking along, minding my own business when someone who's passing by says, "Hello!" or otherwise starts talking to me out of the blue. I talk back, wondering who this person is and why she is talking to me. Eventually, I realize she's not talking to me at all; she's talking on her cell phone, and she doesn't realize I exist. I end up feeling like a huge idiot.

Back in college, this happened to me a few times. In fact, I wrote a scene called about it for the on-campus TV station. The idea is that they would do a split-screen effect to show the different people on their cell phones, but it never got picked up for filming. Oh well.

Here's the script of "Cell Phone Mania".

---

SCENE: Outside of Nobili Hall. SIMON leaves the building. BETH is sitting down on the steps, talking to JILL on her cell phone, but SIMON does not notice the cell phone.

BETH
So, how's it going?

SIMON
Um...fine. How are you?

BETH
I'm doing great. So what are you up to tonight?

SIMON
I was going to stay at home and watch a movie or something. Why?

BETH
(to SIMON)
Listen, weirdo, shut up. I don't want to talk to you!
(to JILL)
No, not you! I...
(to SIMON)
Great, now my friend just hung up on me. Way to go.

SIMON
Sorry, I didn't know you were on your cell phone.

BETH
You call her up, and you apologize!

SIMON
Um, okay...

SIMON takes BETH's phone and calls JILL.

JILL
Beth, I don't want to talk to you right now. You called me a weirdo!

SIMON
I'm not Beth. This is Simon.

JILL
Oh, really? Wait...I don't know any Simons. Who are you?

SIMON
I'm just this guy. I have [hair color] hair, [general description].

JILL
Mmm. You sound like a nice person.

SIMON
Well, what do you look like? You sound like a nice person, too.

BETH
Quit flirting with her! Just apologize already!

SIMON
I'm not flirting with her!

JILL
Flirting with who?

SIMON
You.

JILL
Oh, yeah, you probably shouldn't flirt with me. I went out with someone last night.

SIMON
Well, was it just a date or is he like your boyfriend or something?

BETH
She has a boyfriend? Give me the phone.

BETH steals the phone from SIMON.

BETH
Jill, you didn't tell me you had a boyfriend!

JILL
Wait, Beth? Is that you?

BETH
Yeah, yeah. So tell me about this boyfriend. Who is he?

JILL
Well, his name is Joe Angelo, and—

BETH
Joe Angelo? Who's he?

SIMON
Wait a minute, Joe Angelo! That's my roommate! Give me the phone!

SIMON tries to steal the phone away from BETH, but she holds onto it.

BETH
Get your own phone!

SIMON
Fine!

SIMON pulls out his phone and calls JOE.

JOE
Yo, Simon, what's up?

SIMON
Dude, Joe, you didn't tell me you had a date last night.

JOE
You heard about that? It wasn't really a big deal.

JILL
Yes! He's sooo cute!

BETH
Is he a good kisser?
(to SIMON)
Ask him if he's a good kisser.

SIMON
Um, are you a good kisser?

JOE
Dude!

SIMON
It's not me! Beth wants to know.

JOE
Who's Beth?

SIMON
Some girl who wants to know if you're a good kisser.

JOE
(joking)
Isn't that every girl?

SIMON
(to Beth)
He says every girl wants to know if he's a good kisser.

BETH
Ew, what a sleazeball.

JILL
Who's a sleazeball?

BETH
Don't worry, I'll take care of things. Give me the phone.

BETH takes SIMON'S phone and gives him hers.

SIMON
So, uh, hey Jill. It's me again.

JILL
Hey, uh...

SIMON
Simon.

JILL
Right, Simon.

SIMON
So, um...it likes like you're going out with my roommate.

JILL
What? No, Joe told me he has a single room.

SIMON
Huh? He doesn't have a single room. He's my roommate!

JILL
He lied to me? That jerk! Tell Beth to put him on the line!

SIMON
Uh, okay.

SIMON turns around and taps BETH on the back.

BETH
(angrily)
And if you try any of your sleaze tricks with my friend Jill, I will personally send you to the hospital.
(to SIMON)
WHAT?

SIMON
Jill wants to talk to Joe.

BETH
Oh, okay.

BETH puts her phone up against SIMON'S.

JILL
Joe, it's Jill. You didn't tell me you had a roommate!

JOE
You didn't tell me you had a psycho friend who goes crazy whenever somebody makes a joke!

JILL
(gasps)
How dare you! Beth is not a psycho! She's my best friend!

JOE
Yeah, well, birds of a feather flock together! She's psycho, and so are you!

JILL
You jerk! I'm never going out with you again!

JOE
My feelings exactly!

JILL and JOE hang up. SIMON and BETH are left, holding the two phones together. They both put their phones away and stare at each other for a second.

SIMON
So, uh...

BETH
Beth.

SIMON
So, uh, Beth.
(pause)
See ya!

BETH
Bye!

They leave. THE END.

14 comments:

Miriam :) said...

Hahaha.
It'd be a lot easier to keep the names straight if I was watching it instead of reading it, but that's pretty epic, and something I could definitely see happening in real life...

Emma said...

This is SO funny and cute, you should film it and submit it to a short film contest! :]

Kira said...

Hahahaha! Loved it. :-)

http://kira-green-eyed-girl.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

ahahahahaha Michael that is amazing!! I can't imagine why they didn't go with it.

I always get it with my sister talking to her boyfriend on the phone. I never realize she's on the phone, and besides, our backs are turned, so when she randomly says something cute and I'm the only other one in the room at the time... hahahahaha.

Anonymous said...

Hahahaha. That's actually really good.

Anonymous said...

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha =]

madi said...

did you make that up? cuz thats really funny!

Ela said...

LOL, awesome.
That kind of scenario happened to me once. XD
I was so embarrassed. XD

Michael Kelley said...

Haha!! This is Epic!!
And I've definitely had moments when I think someone is talking to me, but has those weird headset things. Awkward. lol...

And the ending of this was hilarious. The two just say bye and leave like nothing happened. :)

Anonymous said...

hahaha you should a part two if everyone agree say yeah in theire comment if not type no.

Anonymous said...

Yeah that was funny

Anonymous said...

hahahaha lol
i could totally see me in that situation :)

Anonymous said...

That has sorta happened to me, another girl in my school has the same name as me and it's really akward when they talk to her and I think it's supposed to be me or when I think they're calling for her to wait up in the halls when it's actually me.

Also one time I had hardly any sleep the night before and I thought my teacher said my name to demonstrate something but it was really somebody else's so it was kinda embarrassing when I went up and was half way through when she said I asked for (insert name here) and got (insert name here...agian)but okay, whatever"

But I think you should get some friends together and shoot that and post it on here that would be something I would really like to see. BTW-Very creative.

Anonymous said...

loved it!!!!! so funny.