Thursday, February 4, 2010

Why I Don't Have an iPhone

Someone asked me why I don't have an iPhone. It's simple: I don't trust phones. They're always causing trouble for people, calling the wrong numbers and dropping calls left and right. I don't even trust my cell phone to keep track of phone numbers, to be honest. My cell phone is kind of a jerk.

Why? My cell phone likes to play tricks on me, that's why. Just yesterday, my mom called when I was in class. The cell phone is programmed to tell me whenever I have a missed call, so of course, it delivered the "Hey! Your mother called at 3:00!" 7:30. Not funny, cell phone.

Of course, the favorite pratical joke my phone likes to play on me is the "screw up the conversation" one. It loves to play that joke on me and Marianne. One second, I can hear Marianne just fine, and the next second, I can't understand what she's saying. Every time I call Marianne, the conversation goes like this:

Michael: So, how has school been going for you?
Marianne: It's cool to visit the zoo? When did you visit the zoo?
Michael: You're sick? That's unfortunate.
Marianne: Huh? I'm not sick.
Michael: But you said you had the flu.
Marianne: Wait, so you went to the zoo, but you didn't see the giraffes?
Michael: You're pregnant???
Michael's Cell Phone: *chuckles sinisterly*

So, yes, cell phones aren't trustworthy. There's no reason for me to upgrade to a cell phone with Internet access, because I know it's going to mess that up too. It'll send emails to the wrong people, and do weird things like order a coffee maker online and have it delivered to my room with "To Michael, From Ellen" inscribed on the top.

Besides, do you know how many times I've been invited to a Facebook Group called, "Hey, everyone, I lost my cell phone, and I need your phone number again"? At least five times. If people can lose their cell phones so easily, they can lose their iPhones just as easily. And an iPhone has your email and credit card info and everything else on it, too...Sounds dangerous to me!

In conclusion, I'm just an old fogey who remembers when computers and the Internet were new, and so they only worked half the time. I still haven't gotten over my paranoid mindset that technology doesn't work. I don't do anything complicated with my laptop besides read fanfiction and play videogames, but it still manages to screw up a lot ("screwing up" as in, "I can't play some games"). Oh well.


Eric said...

Hmph...Its like Tony can you pick up some Eggs at the Store...WHAT You want me to shoot a Duck? :):):)

Eric said...

I like your Eh...Video game and Computer Walkthroughs Their Funny... Including Zelda Ocarina I play that Often...Cause my Cousins have a Wii and My uncle bought that uhh... Wii card from Walmart Heh I will never understand Why You have to buy a like 20$ Wii card to buy it on the Wii When you can buy it on Ebay for like 6$ !!!

Roberta said...

wow, it's like your phone knows that you have a sense of humor and your cell likes to play with you! it gets bored! haha:)

Anonymous said...

i'm way too amused at the fact that i was reading this post on how you don't like iPhones ON my iPhone. hahah

--alana (:

Tallulah said...

Proud to say I do not own a cell phone, therefore they cannot play rude jokes on me :)

Anonymous said...

I own an iPhone it is awasome!!!!!!!!!! I use it to access Micheal blog like now I am on it yay phone it does okay jokes with my email though my friend might email at 2 I won't get it for two days which make my friend thinks I am ingoring him oh well it still rocks!!!!!!- pixiegirl

Anonymous said...

that would be sooo funny if she really was preggers

Anonymous said...

iPhone is awesome! I used have an old $20 cell phone and I would recieve text messages 2 days late but the iPhone works perfectly.

Anonymous said...

Like your Cell phone, my computer does weird stuff too. So I named my computer "Minette" after the character in Danger by Design! hehehe, one second i'll be Instant Messaging my friend and it should say this: "Hello, how have you been?" But it'll say this: "Hel, how hav yu ben?" *sighs* I can type perfectly but my computer can't seem to put all the letters up on the screen. Technology is tricky...