Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Teaching About Walt Whitman

The next day, Professor Snaglefoompus had to teach class because his assistant Rob wasn't there. "What are you supposed to learn today?" Professor Snaglefoompus asked.

"We're learning about Walt Whitman," Jenny Blackenship said.

"I don't know anything about Walt Whitman," Professor Snaglefoompus admitted. If you had to say something for him, Professor Snaglefoompus never pretended to know something he didn't. True, many times he thought he knew something, and was mistaken, but you can't hold that against him. Most people are like that.

"What a horrible teacher," Ernie Greengold said. "Not knowing anything about Walt Whitman! He wrote Leaves of Grass!"

"He wrote on leaves?" Professor Snaglefoompus asked. "That's kind of weird. Why didn't he use paper like other people do?"

Ernie groaned. "Leaves of Grass is the name of a book!"

"Grass doesn't grow on leaves," Professor Snaglefoompus said. "Leaves grow on trees. Anybody could tell you that."

Ernie groaned again. In case you couldn't tell, he didn't like Professor Snaglefoompus very much. "We're not supposed to talk about that. We're supposed to be learning about Walt Whitman," he complained.

"Well, we've learned he's a poet," Professor Snaglefompus said. "And we also learned that he doesn't know basic arboreal facts. So for homework tonight, make sure to read your biology books and come up with a list of ten basic arboreal facts."

"But this isn't a biology class!" Ernie Greengold complained. "It's an English class!"

"Nonsense, Ernie," Professor Snaglefoompus said. "Why would we be learning about trees in English class? Now if you'll excuse me, I understand the science department is having a buffet today, and I don't want to miss it. Class dismissed."

So Professor Snaglefoompus left class to go eat at the buffet, and it's a good thing he did, because if he had stayed to teach some more, Ernie Greengold might have gotten very upset.

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