Thursday, April 30, 2009

Professor Snaglefoompus Writes a Book

It turns out that I'm not going to be house-sitting next week after all. The people decided not to go on vacation to Mexico because of the swine flu outbreak. And while that's a good decision for them, it's bad news for me because now I won't get paid to watch their dogs.

But I suppose that's okay, because I'm kind of sick at the moment. My nose is all stuffy and my throat is sore. So instead of being creative and writing a really good blog entry, I'm just going to copy/paste a story I wrote a while ago, inspired by the time I worked at the Stanford Bookstore. Can you believe people would pay over $500 for their college textbooks? That's totally crazy!


Professor Snaglefoompus Writes a Book

When Professor Snaglefoompus got back from lunch, he was surprised to find that his class was still there, reading their textbooks. All except Jimmy Valnimmy, who didn't have a book and was sharing with Maria Cincinnati.

"Jimmy, you don't have a textbook?" Professor Snaglefoompus asked.

"No, sir," Jimmy said. "I can't afford one. They cost too much money."

"Really?" Professor Snaglefoompus asked. "How much do textbooks cost?"

"I had to pay $500 for three textbooks this semester," Ernie Greengold complained.

"Is that all?" somebody asked. "I paid $500 for one book!"

"F-f-f-five hundred dollars???" Professor Snaglefoompus stammered. "I can't afford a book that expensive! Do you know what that means?"

"Teachers are underpaid?" someone guessed.

"Books are overpriced?" someone else guessed.

"You'll have to retire because you can't afford to teach our class?" Ernie Greengold asked.

"NO!" Professor Snaglefoompus said. "This means that I have to write a book so I can make lots of money! And that way, I'll be able to afford buying books!"

"What kind of book will you write, Professor?" Jenny Blackenship asked.

"An English book," Professor Snaglefoompus said. "I will write a great work of literature. I'll talk about horrible evils in our society so everybody knows about them, and we can change them and make the world a better place!"

The class cheered, because making the world a better place is always a fun thing to do.

So Professor Snaglefoompus wrote his book about a horrible evil in our society. He called it Books Cost Too Much Money, So You Shouldn't Buy Any.

Unfortunately, nobody wanted to publish it for some reason.


Anonymous said...

That is soooo weired that your nose is stuffy abd you throat is sore. MIne is too! I had to stay home because of it. I hopr that you don't have to stay home too.

Anonymous said...

yea it probably wouldn't be the best to go to Mexico at the moment. i hope you feel better soon.

Gaedlis said...

Michael, I hope YOU don't have the swine flu! Haha. Feel better soon!


Anonymous said...

bonjour Michael,
Merci pour le travail de traduction que vous me donnez ce weekend!lol
Soignez-vous bien...good health...

Zelda(= said...

I might not get to go to Mexico, either. My brother's getting married in a few weeks and his fiancee lives down there, but I'm not sure we'll be able/allowed to go. =/

Anonymous said...

hi. I is ur bigest fan.ROFL! I am so exited tat i just found u here! XD

Anonymous said...

Bonjour Mitchel
Ca ne plait qune paquet boite.J'en prendrai.C'st estce unrecu. Au revoir

Sarah said...

That's ridiculous. I paid over $200 for ONE class's textbooks this semester. And I thought I was being jipped. $500 for one book is just outrageous. Apparently Amazon has come out with a new version of Kindle that allows you to download textbooks? umm, that's kind of amazing, no?
--sarah aka. srplaysbachtb or checkcheckcraaash