For a school project, I wrote a series of stories about a person named Professor Snaglefoompus. He's a professor, but not a very good one, because he cares more about going to buffets than teaching. Since the stories are rather funny, I thought I'd put them up here for everyone to read.
Professor Snaglefoompus usually teaches only on Thursdays, and lets his assistant Rob teach all of the other days. However, one day, Professor Snaglefoompus decided to teach class himself, even though it was a Friday.
"Rob, I'll be teaching class today," Professor Snaglefoompus said.
"Okay," Rob said, because he was a little tired of teaching.
"Great," Professor Snaglefoompus said. "What do the students need to learn today?"
"Well, I was going to teach them about Shakespeare," Rob told him.
"BORING!" Professor Snaglefoompus said. "You'll put all the students to sleep with that stuff!"
"But the class is really interested in it," Rob said. "We've been reading Romeo and Juliet, and everyone is looking forward to seeing how it ends.
"It ends on the last page of the book," Professor Snaglefoompus said. "All books do. You should know that, Rob."
Rob sighed and sat down in a chair. "Okay," Rob said. "Go ahead and teach the class."
"Good," Professor Snaglefoompus said. As soon as the class arrived, Professor Snaglefoompus began talking.
"I understand you've been learning about William Shakespeare," Professor Snaglefoompus said. "I don't know why you'd learn about Shakespeare in a math class, though."
One of the students raised her hand and said, "Professor Snaglefoompus, this isn't a math class. This is a Shakespeare class."
"This is a Shakespeare class?" Professor Snaglefoompus asked.
The class nodded.
Professor Snaglefoompus laughed. "Nice try kids! Shakespeare died a long time ago! He can't possibly be teaching this class!"
The girl who raised her hand cleared her throat. "I meant that it's a class about Shakespeare," she said.
"Yes, of course," Professor Snaglefoompus said. "Now then, Shakespeare was a writer who wrote many things during...um...during the...hmmm...during the course of his life. He wrote most of those things on paper. Everybody got that?"
A small boy raised his hand. "Professor Snaglefoompus," he asked, "Are we going to read Romeo and Juliet today? I want to know how it ends."
"Why, it ends on the last page of the book," Professor Snaglefoompus said. "Didn't you know that?"
"But Romeo and Juliet isn't a book," the boy said. "It's a play."
"Ah, yes, plays," Professor Snaglefoompus said. "Shakespeare wrote a lot of plays which are all the same, except they have different names and characters and dialogue in them. Everybody got that?"
Everyone in the class stared at each other.
"Oh my, you look confused," Professor Snaglefoompus said. "Let me explain. 'Dialogue' is what you call it when someone talks in a play. Plays usually have a lot of dialogue. Well, I think that's enough learning for one day. Class dismissed!"
All of the students left the room, still looking confused.
"Whew!" Professor Snaglefoompus said. "I'm really tired from all that teaching!"
"But you taught for less than five minutes!" Rob exclaimed.
"I know," Professor Snaglefoompus said, "and it was hard work. You can got go back to teaching class again tomorrow."
"Okay," Rob said.
"Make sure you do a good job," Professor Snaglefoompus warned. "I noticed some of the students were confused by the material I went over in class today."