Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Ernie Greengold

Most of Professor Snaglefoompus' students like having him as a professor. They think he says funny things, and they like how he gives everyone a free buffet on Wednesdays. However, there is one student who doesn't like Professor Snaglefoompus at all, and that student's name is Ernie Greengold.

Ernie used to like Professor Snaglefoompus, until one day when Professor Snaglefoompus made everyone in the class write a poem for a grade. When Ernie got his poem back, he found that he got a "B+" on it.

Ernie was mad about his grade, because he thought his poem was really good. He decided to ask Professor Snaglefoompus about it. After class that day, he went up to Professor Snaglefoompus and said, "Professor, why did I get a 'B+' on my poem?"

"Because that's the grade for your poem," said Professor Snaglefoompus.

"But I think it's a really good poem," said Ernie. "I think it should have a higher grade than a 'B+'."

"Let me read it," said Professor Snaglefoompus. Professor Snaglefoompus grabbed Ernie's poem and read it. "Hey, you're right," he said. "This is a really good poem. It's too bad you got a 'B+'. You should have gotten an 'A'."

"Really?" asked Ernie.

"Yes," said Professor Snaglefoompus.

"Thanks," said Ernie.

"What?" asked Professor Snaglefoompus.

"Thanks for agreeing with me about my poem," said Ernie. "You're going to change the grade now, right?"

"I can't do that!" said Professor Snaglefoompus. "The grades have already been entered into the grade book!"

"Can't you change them?" asked Ernie.

"I could, but I don't know where the grade book is," said Professor Snaglefoompus.

"Then how did you put the grades in the grade book?" asked Ernie.

"I didn't," said Professor Snaglefoompus. "My assistant Rob did. He does all my grading work."

"Can't you ask Rob to change the grade in the grade book?" Ernie asked.

"No," Professor Snaglefoompus said. "I'm the only person who's allowed to change grades in the grade book."

"Well, then why can't you change the grade for my poem?" asked Ernie.

"Because I don't know where the grade book is," sighed Professor Snaglefoompus. "I believe I just told you that."

"But you just said I deserved an 'A'!" cried Ernie. "I need to get an 'A' on my poem, not a 'B+'!"

"Don't worry about it," Professor Snaglefoompus said. "There are more important things than grades, like going to buffets. Speaking of which, the English Club is holding a free buffet soon. I'd better hurry there, so I don't miss it!"

Professor Snaglefoompus then ran out to go the buffet, leaving Ernie alone. Ernie frowned and then growled. "Stupid Professor Snaglefoompus!" he said. "I'll get my revenge on him, if it's the last thing I do!"

From then on, Ernie Greengold hated Professor Snaglefoompus, and swore that he'd be a horrible student until Professor Snaglefoompus changed his grade to an "A".

Ernie had to be a horrible student for a long time, because, as it turns out, Professor Snaglefoompus doesn't have a grade book, and never did.

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